Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce? - Talk About Marriage
The Men's Clubhouse Talk about life's dilemmas.

User Tag List

 285Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:13 AM Thread Starter
Moderator
 
farsidejunky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 7,374
Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

The More Chores A Husband Does, The More Likely The Marriage Will End In Divorce

I don't know if I necessarily agree with this, but what the heck...I felt like stirring the pot.

Ladies are encouraged to comment as well, please.

Discuss.

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
farsidejunky is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:22 AM
Member
 
EllisRedding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Valhalla (Or the Northeast USA)
Posts: 6,148
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?



I found it interesting that one conclusion was that within relationships having defined roles seemed to be a better option.

I think in part as well, with more women working and being independent, they don't have to be "stuck" in an unfavorable situation. As well, it appears that marriage in general is viewed as more disposable these days.

The one thing I wish they clarified in the article, for all the participants, what was the job status of each (i.e. both full time, equivalent hours, part time, SAH, etc...)
EllisRedding is online now  
post #3 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:23 AM
urf
Member
 
urf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 135
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

Quote:
Originally Posted by farsidejunky View Post
The More Chores A Husband Does, The More Likely The Marriage Will End In Divorce

I don't know if I necessarily agree with this, but what the heck...I felt like stirring the pot.

Ladies are encouraged to comment as well, please.

Discuss.
That seems not to be true for me. My wife does everything for me. I am so dependent on her for so many things. I also love her so much.

It seems that we have gravitated into realms of responsibility whereby we each do what the other does not.

This has become more and more true. We have been married for over 50 years now.

Last edited by urf; 03-08-2017 at 09:30 AM. Reason: word omitted
urf is offline  
post #4 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:26 AM
Member
 
tropicalbeachiwish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: La La Land
Posts: 1,558
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?



Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
tropicalbeachiwish is online now  
post #5 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:28 AM
Forum Supporter
 
blueinbr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 6,023
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

Maybe if men are not expected to do housework get laid when they do. But if they do more than half, no.
blueinbr is offline  
post #6 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:30 AM Thread Starter
Moderator
 
farsidejunky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 7,374
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

I would agree with this if it were correct. It is one of many factors that creates an overall dynamic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tropicalbeachiwish View Post


Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
farsidejunky is online now  
post #7 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:31 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 2,127
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

As with most social studies, its difficult to interpret.

"Traditional" couples where women stay at home and do chores while men work more likely include traditional / conservative people who are less likely to divorce even if they are unhappy.

Also if there is a division of labor it is more difficult for the couple to separate because each is more dependent on the other.

It can also represent a very uneven marriage where the person doing the chores is being taken advantage of or possibly even emotionally abused.
uhtred is online now  
post #8 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:38 AM
Member
 
EllisRedding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Valhalla (Or the Northeast USA)
Posts: 6,148
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

Quote:
Originally Posted by farsidejunky View Post
I would agree with this if it were correct. It is one of many factors that creates an overall dynamic.
Honestly, any guy who thinks that doing more chores at home is going to get him laid more is just going to end up frustrated when he finds out that one does not necessarily correlate to the other.
EllisRedding is online now  
post #9 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:51 AM
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 4,959
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

Quote:
Originally Posted by farsidejunky View Post
The More Chores A Husband Does, The More Likely The Marriage Will End In Divorce

I don't know if I necessarily agree with this, but what the heck...I felt like stirring the pot.

Ladies are encouraged to comment as well, please.

Discuss.
The problem I see with this article is the whole correlation vs causation thing.

Yes, there appears to be a correlation between men doing more housework and divorce, but correlation does not imply or guarantee causation. Within this study, how many of the men doing more housework were "Nice Guys" and were damaging their marriage in other ways that were unreported? And the women that were doing more housework and had correlative happy marriages--there's no clear argument that their marriages are happier because the woman does more housework. Maybe the woman is inclined to do more housework as a result of being happy in her marriage, and vice versa? (I know, in my personal experience, that if I am happier in my relationship, then I am more likely to take care of these little things and pay attention to the housework BECAUSE I want to gift that to my partner; if he's making me miserable and I'm unhappy in my relationship, I'm going to tell him to **** off an make his own damn dinner.)

And, as another TAMer commented, they don't provide info on whether both partners are working, or if there's one breadwinner, etc.

There are way too many variables to establish causation. Correlation, perhaps. Causation, no.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is offline  
post #10 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:55 AM
Member
 
Max.HeadRoom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York State USA
Posts: 169
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

I do not see a job in my home that I would not do. I want things to be fair, and I ask my gal sometimes just to make sure.

Neither of us wants to be wholly dependent on the other.

The only job I will not do is fold the laundry. I caught her re-folding a big batch early on. There no need for a job to be done twice. She is separate it in piles for washing & I keep the loads moving through.
Max.HeadRoom is offline  
post #11 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 09:57 AM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 55
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

Correlation vs causation is tricky... particularly in 'soft sciences'

In this case, the header is misleading in that it does not separate the two.

Households where the woman does more of the housework, all else being equal, are more likely to found in marriages where divorce is less of an option.

and, on a gut reaction level: very few women will get all hot and bothered by a man that fills a dishwasher, if the filling is the only thing happening.

On the other hand: NOT filling the dishwasher will get her cold and bothered.

Come to think of it; disconnect the two entirely. see it in isolation: You should fill the dishwasher cause it wont fill itself.

working on this
ericthesane is offline  
post #12 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 10:04 AM
Member
 
Fozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4,535
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

My own experiences make me suspicious of the underlying assumption that people are telling the truth about division of labor.

I do the cooking, all of the dishes, trash, yard work, and vacuuming. I also pick the kids up from school every day and help them with their homework. My wife does laundry and occasionally cleans a bathroom. Yet if you were to ask her, she does the lions share of the housework. She's not intentionally lying either--she really believes it.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
Fozzy is online now  
post #13 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 10:05 AM Thread Starter
Moderator
 
farsidejunky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 7,374
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fozzy View Post
My own experiences make me suspicious of the underlying assumption that people are telling the truth about division of labor.

I do the cooking, all of the dishes, trash, yard work, and vacuuming. I also pick the kids up from school every day and help them with their homework. My wife does laundry and occasionally cleans a bathroom. Yet if you were to ask her, she does the lions share of the housework. She's not intentionally lying either--she really believes it.
Refresh my memory. Does she work?

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
farsidejunky is online now  
post #14 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 10:06 AM
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 10,323
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

My observations:

- Basic chores: Cleaning / laundry etc. do not create desire in most women. However, slacking in your overall contribution to the marriage can create enough tension to harm desire.
- Splitting responsibilities is great - provided you act like a boss and do your stuff. Acting like a subordinate who needs direction (this is not design/build of a rocket nozzle - its kind of basic stuff).

Handy man stuff - this appears to produce an explicitly sexual response in many/most women. This is a certain and immediate path to bed with M2.

In general, it is honest when a wife says: I am angry at you because you are not overall pulling your weight in the marriage and that is why our sex life sucks.

And in general it is a total deflection when a wife says (to a husband who IS generally already pulling his weight): I feel so overwhelmed and stressed out by life. If you did more housework I would feel less stressed and we 'might' have more sex.



Quote:
Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Honestly, any guy who thinks that doing more chores at home is going to get him laid more is just going to end up frustrated when he finds out that one does not necessarily correlate to the other.
MEM2020 is offline  
post #15 of 155 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 10:12 AM
Member
 
CharlieParker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: (n) a particular place or position.
Posts: 10,643
Re: Men Doing More Chores Increases Divorce?

I load the dishwasher. I don't know if it's OCD-like or I'm just better at geometry and spatial awareness but my wife just can't load the dishwasher "properly". (Anyone else notice this too?) So I do it, and she doesn't mind. It's not a source of contention, rather more a humours thing. We usually tag team unloading, I do the high stuff, she the lower.



Sigh, my wife gives me the speaking treatment.
CharlieParker is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Are there that many Jack A$$ men think positive The Ladies' Lounge 106 01-11-2017 01:23 AM
Wife left, pushed the divorce and ever since I agreed, she's dragging her feet? whatisluv Going Through Divorce or Separation 52 10-25-2016 10:44 AM
My wife is having an online affair with a convicted child killer (and many other men) Betrayeduser Coping with Infidelity 132 07-11-2016 06:47 PM
Article: Why Women Leave Men They Love MAJDEATH General Relationship Discussion 54 03-29-2016 12:59 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome