I know who you are, you and I pretty much agree on most things from your posts.
"He just likes beer, the bars, sports, jokes around a lot, likes food" is this a bad thing? This would describe about 90% of men and 40% of women (because of the sports) I know.
Not being intellectual doesn't make someone a bad husband or Homer Simpson. Is this really about his level of intellect or maybe education where your issue is? I ask because you are married to a surgeon and seem to get some pride in that (not saying that is a bad thing).
Homer is a lazy, grotesquely overweight bumbling, almost retarded level idiot with a heart of gold, he is a lazy parent, and a lazy husband. His motivation seems to be to watch TV and drink beer. His one redeeming quality is that he loves his family. This is how you would describe your father? Does he know you think of him this way? Does his wife think of him this way?
For his benefit I hope never finds out, especially if he really isn't like this and is just an ordinary Joe, as is what your original description of him says. No man should be put at the level of Homer because he doesn't spend time reading Ulysses and likes sports bars.
My father is passive aggressive. I have no emotional connection with him, but I love him If that makes sense. And yes I know there is a link with my dad and my husband, trust me I'm aware. My dad is lazy, and overweight. He worked hard to provide for him family, but that's it. He has never cooked, cleaned, or did laundry. He was not a good dad to a daughter. Don't get me wrong, I love him and he did the best that he could, which was better than his dad. But he treated me like a boy, like my older brothers. No emotional sensitivity at all. My dad never yelled, never punished us, couldn't tell you much about my life except the sports that I played. I could never get sympathy from him, if I hurt myself it wasn't a big deal for him I have to suck it up.
When I was young, my brothers and I and him went sledding, I hit a bump and landed on my face and instantly got a really bad bloody nose. My dad put me in the car, gave me his handkerchief, And said I'll turn the heat on for you, we're going to sled a little longer and we will be back, and left me. I was 7. My dad never took anything serious, and this drove my mom crazy. They would get into crazy fights because all my mom wanted was to be taken seriously. My mom left multiple times, and always came back. My dad didn't bat an eye. Something that my dad does that drives me and my mom crazy is when we are mad, he makes jokes. The more mad we get, the more he thinks it's funny. Which is why my mom would resort to physically throwing things like plates. He still acted like he couldn't care less. One time my mom threw a plate right at his head, he ducked, he then made this smart ass comment to us kids like he wasn't phased at all, then he went and sat down and watched tv like everything was normal while my mom was literally having a mental breakdown. When I was older like 17 I was driving and I saw my mom walking down a main road. I pulled over, she was crying hysterically. She told me... I am either going to kill him or kill my self. And she had herself committed voluntarily in the hospital for a few days. She came back, my dad didn't bat an eye. It was never talked about again. I don't want to go on bashing my dad because I do love him, but he was rough.