Moments of infactuation - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 11:47 AM Thread Starter
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Moments of infactuation

Have you guys ever had these strange moments of infactuation, crushes so-to-speak, of others not your partner, and then you look at your partner, as beautiful as they look, and go... "meh"
Sometimes it lasts seconds, other times days, even weeks...

Do tell
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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 11:50 AM
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Re: Moments of infactuation

Something you are dealing with now?
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 11:53 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Moments of infactuation

'Tis was a question!
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 11:56 AM
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Re: Moments of infactuation

I would bet most people have dealt with this at some point, especially when things aren't going well with their SO. Pretty much falls in line with the "Grass is greener" mentality
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 11:59 AM
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Re: Moments of infactuation

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Have you guys ever had these strange moments of infactuation, crushes so-to-speak, of others not your partner, and then you look at your partner, as beautiful as they look, and go... "meh"
Sometimes it lasts seconds, other times days, even weeks...

Do tell
...or years.
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 12:01 PM
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Re: Moments of infactuation

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Something you are dealing with now?
Yes. What's happening with Ms. FormerFWB?
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 12:13 PM
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Cool Re: Moments of infactuation

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Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
Have you guys ever had these strange moments of infactuation, crushes so-to-speak, of others not your partner, and then you look at your partner, as beautiful as they look, and go... "meh"
Sometimes it lasts seconds, other times days, even weeks...

Do tell
Not exactly!

That's why I'm still in the business of inhaling air right now!

But I have played that game with both my XW and my RSXW, post-divorce of course, always imploring myself, "Just how stupid was I?"

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

My Story!
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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 12:15 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Moments of infactuation

Things are going well for the most part except for the one thing that is holding me back, but I didn't think the temptation would be this strong. I just question our future as she can't decide her residency, don't blame her though because it's like choosing between her family and me. Rather not get into that.

And even I don't know if I can still give her what she wants, I'm still getting used to the whole lovey dovey thing after divorce.

Still, the infactuation I have recently is fking strong, two weeks now, with a 'friend' from my new college. It's already so weird being back in school after almost 20 years, and now I have this to deal with. Maybe I just have to get to know this new friend abit more and let her turn me off since I'm sure she can't beat my current girlfriend. Or something. I dunno, this crush isn't going away for some reason... bah!!

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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 01:44 PM
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Re: Moments of infactuation

I am always fascinated by new facts, especially in the realm of quantum physics. In fact, I was just reading about a new state of matter, quantum spin liquids.

Love is an ideal thing; marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 01:54 PM
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Re: Moments of infactuation

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Originally Posted by RandomDude View Post
Have you guys ever had these strange moments of infactuation, crushes so-to-speak, of others not your partner, and then you look at your partner, as beautiful as they look, and go... "meh"
Sometimes it lasts seconds, other times days, even weeks...

Do tell
Nope. I've never found DH to be "meh". It's so bad, I'm into him even when he's angered or disappointed me. Other men are "meh", at best.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-24-2017, 02:23 PM
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Re: Moments of infactuation

I have honestly never seen a woman more attractive than my gf.I know how that sounds but it is true.The first time I saw her,very early in the morning and she ran up to me I thought I was dreaming.It turned out she thought I was someone else lol.But she is a natural blonde,fitness instructor,five ten, and a figure to dream about.What more could a man want.
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 11:59 AM
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Re: Moments of infactuation

there was this one movie, with Kim Basinger....
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 05:30 PM
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Re: Moments of infactuation

Random, sorry to be asking you this question at this point now...but..
Are you 100% you want to be in a relationship with your current gf?
From your other threads/posts it felt like you suddenly found yourself in a relationship you weren't prepared for...but you decided to go along with it because your gf is a good girl and you didn't want to hurt her? Because her family was so good to you that you decided to give this whole thing a try?

It might sound like I'm off topic here ...but if the above is somewhat true...then I don't blame your for the infatuations you might feel here and there ..
When you say you can't give her what she wants, do you refer to a stable, long-lasting relationship?

If you're not prepared for that then I don't blame you, just make sure not to give her false hopes.
THe infatuations you're feeling now are a way to escape from your new relationship with this girl. Early stages of the relationship are supposed to be fun, exciting, passionate...and so on. It's not supposed to be about crushes on other people.

Davelli0331: If a GNO, or alcohol, or an attractive coworker, or a past flame on FB were all that were needed for someone to cheat, then I think that person had that defect in their integrity all along. All they ever lacked was the opportunity to act on their lack of integrity and the circumstances required to rationalize it to themselves.
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 10:16 AM
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Re: Moments of infactuation

A new person can be extremely attractive. Your brain fills in all the unknowns with a creation of your own fantasy.

its a trap!
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 03:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Moments of infactuation

The issue is that she has not made up her mind on choosing between her family and me, it's a long story, put it this way, she's not a PR here. She can be one at her own accord, but she has not made her choice and the deadline is coming soon. So I'm not 100% either. It's already been several months, soon to be a year, so it's abit past early stages.

I agree that my mind is filling in the blanks when it comes to the infatuation, and it's disturbing because I don't seem to be in control, not to mention my studies force me to see her, and she's part of my new circle of friends. My girlfriend and I are opposites, from personality to interests, it attracted at first, but now it seems I'm drawn to someone else who actually shares my passions and interests, and who I don't have to worry about flying off back overseas.
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