I try not to make dates displays of spending power; I'd rather do something active and outdoorsy that focuses on conversation instead of ostentation.
But, if I'm asking her out, then I expect to pay for whatever costs arise. It's nicer if she offers to chip in or just graciously says "thanks" than if she seems noticeably entitled. And if despite this framing a woman insisted on splitting the tab on an early date, I'd take it as a possible sign of imminent friend-zoning; an implied "hey, i don't want to feel like I owe you anything romantically."
So yeah, I expect to pay first time, as I'm usually the one doing the inviting. However: In a continuing relationship, I also expect that the woman will reciprocate & suggest outings herself rather than simply following me around like a puppy dog. And if next week she's on fire to see movie x
and eat at cafe y
, then she can pay and I can thank her for a great evening.
That back-and-forth arrangement works pretty well, since I hate trying to divvy up bills on the spot, which really kills the mood. It also lets each person feel treated and cared for in turn.
So here is a question. For the folks that prefer an even split of some sort, how do you maintain sexual attraction?
Why on earth should that be difficult? I'd have a harder time maintaining sexual attraction with someone who expected me to white-knight everything in her life. I won't stick up for lazy men who won't put any thought into dates, but I can't stand women who won't embrace their own agency as human beings.
It isn't cute or endearing or "old-fashioned", just annoying as **** and a massive boner-killer. It makes sex feel disconcertingly transactional, a reward I may get for being chivalrous etc, instead of something we both want and share. No, thanks. And if she can't experience sexual attraction unless I "dominantly"
open my wallet every time we go out, then she won't be dating me for long.