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post #16 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 05:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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Why not meet for a couple of beers,it needn't cost much.If you can't afford to date this woman then tell her,if she walks away you will know she wasn't for you but chances are she will offer to pay or else suggest cooking at her or your place.In my opinion if finances aren't a problem then the guy should pay but if they are then just talk about it.
It's easier to have a cheap date in the spring and summer time so I can probably do those things soon.

Winter time it's hard to have a cheap date unless it's in your living room
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post #17 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 05:41 PM
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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It's easier to have a cheap date in the spring and summer time so I can probably do those things soon.

Winter time it's hard to have a cheap date unless it's in your living room
Find a woman who likes to walk.Rain,hail,snow or sun my gf and me walk in the woods near us every day.And here is a free piece of advice.
There is no such thing as bad weather,just wrong clothing.
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post #18 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 05:48 PM
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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This. It goes for women too- many relationship experts recommend that women getting back into the dating world up their game by making an effort to dress in up-to-date clothing and afford attractive grooming costs (though everyone's taste and mileage may vary, obviously).

Dating (like most things) costs money.
I disagree with this. You don't have to have your career set up in order to date. If that was the case a high percentage of people would be single and lonely.

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post #19 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 05:52 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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I disagree with this. You don't have to have your career set up in order to date. If that was the case a high percentage of people would be single and lonely.

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I will say I was not too happy to not see her dress up for our last date. It was like she threw anything on but I decided not to make a big deal.

That post made me think of how she was dressed on our last date
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post #20 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 05:55 PM
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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I will say I was not too happy to not see her dress up for our last date. It was like she threw anything on but I decided not to make a big deal.

That post made me think of how she was dressed on our last date
Oh. I was talking about the career point that someone else mentioned.

I agree with that point of view; if she doesn't dress properly on a date or going out. You might want to reconsider

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post #21 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 06:23 PM
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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I will say I was not too happy to not see her dress up for our last date. It was like she threw anything on but I decided not to make a big deal.



That post made me think of how she was dressed on our last date

What did she wear?



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post #22 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 06:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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What did she wear?



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Just looked plain. Looked like she didn't put any effort until getting ready
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post #23 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-09-2017, 06:46 PM
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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Just looked plain. Looked like she didn't put any effort until getting ready
It can take a woman hours to get the casual look.
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post #24 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 01:21 PM
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Re: Question about paying for dates

Try to be open with her about her dressing up and your money situation, if those are important to you. If you can't be honest with a woman then you need to work on improving yourself until you are proud of the man you are and don't feel the need to hide parts of yourself to get her to like you.

For the dressing up, I just usually tell the women I date that I find it exciting knowing they are getting dressed up to see me and they should take their time and not rush. We always plan our dates so they have plenty of time to get ready and look their best. I also dress up to see them, so that I am setting the expectation that both of us are putting in effort.

For the money situation, realize that if she likes you the money won't be that important. She'll want to spend time with you on whatever budget you have. Also, if you are spending all of your money dating her you probably aren't saving up for a rainy day, so you should change your priorities. Pay yourself first, then pay your bills, then use the leftover for entertainment/dating.
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post #25 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 01:57 PM
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Question about paying for dates

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Just looked plain. Looked like she didn't put any effort until getting ready


Can you be a little more specific?


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post #26 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 06:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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Can you be a little more specific?


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Didn't give off a sexy vibe. Dressed like she was going out with family
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post #27 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-10-2017, 06:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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Try to be open with her about her dressing up and your money situation, if those are important to you. If you can't be honest with a woman then you need to work on improving yourself until you are proud of the man you are and don't feel the need to hide parts of yourself to get her to like you.

For the dressing up, I just usually tell the women I date that I find it exciting knowing they are getting dressed up to see me and they should take their time and not rush. We always plan our dates so they have plenty of time to get ready and look their best. I also dress up to see them, so that I am setting the expectation that both of us are putting in effort.

For the money situation, realize that if she likes you the money won't be that important. She'll want to spend time with you on whatever budget you have. Also, if you are spending all of your money dating her you probably aren't saving up for a rainy day, so you should change your priorities. Pay yourself first, then pay your bills, then use the leftover for entertainment/dating.


That's what I do, put my in my savings and then pay bills and then use what is leftover.
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post #28 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 07:27 AM
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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at what point does she offer to pay?
Wait, this happens? Don't think she'll offer anything along those lines. I've found that despite all the feminists whining about gender equality, the man is usually expected to foot the bill, in line with traditional gender roles of inequality.

You might be able to set the expectation of alternating responsibility for the bill, "I paid last time, so could you get this one?" If it works once, you may be able to give the trend some momentum. Results may vary by woman. Good luck with that!

While I'm posting, I'll share my philosophy on this. I hate the idea of a woman serial-dating for free lunches, so I typically don't pay for anything until a third date. This approach can address the adverse selection problem for women who fit the "independent woman profile". However, if a woman fits the "domestic woman profile" and I really like her, I'll pay earlier and consistently to signal "good provider".

I realize there's a personal budget constraint that explains your initial post, but what is your sense of your date's profile? Does she hold a job and have aspirations for going somewhere in her career?

If so, paying her way may not be as important and you might risk proposing she chips in.

If not, not paying her way is risky; it may signal "bad provider".
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post #29 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 07:45 AM
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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Wait, this happens? Don't think she'll offer anything along those lines. I've found that despite all the feminists whining about gender equality, the man is usually expected to foot the bill, in line with traditional gender roles of inequality.

You might be able to set the expectation of alternating responsibility for the bill, "I paid last time, so could you get this one?" If it works once, you may be able to give the trend some momentum. Results may vary by woman. Good luck with that!

While I'm posting, I'll share my philosophy on this. I hate the idea of a woman serial-dating for free lunches, so I typically don't pay for anything until a third date. This approach can address the adverse selection problem for women who fit the "independent woman profile". However, if a woman fits the "domestic woman profile" and I really like her, I'll pay earlier and consistently to signal "good provider".

I realize there's a personal budget constraint that explains your initial post, but what is your sense of your date's profile? Does she hold a job and have aspirations for going somewhere in her career?

If so, paying her way may not be as important and you might risk proposing she chips in.

If not, not paying her way is risky; it may signal "bad provider".
Dude do you ever get even a second date with this attitude.Overthink much.If you refuse to even buy a date a cup of coffee until she has fulfilled all your expectations you are going to have a lonely life.Loosen the purse strings and you may actually enjoy yourself.Dating is supposed to be fun,not an interview for a lifetime partner.
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post #30 of 62 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 07:56 AM
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Re: Question about paying for dates

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Dude do you ever get even a second date with this attitude.
I've been married almost 10 years. Yes, I've gotten my share of second dates. Thanks for asking.

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Dating is...not an interview for a lifetime partner.
Depends on short-term and long-term objectives. I try to think long-term, so when I was in the field, every date was a potential mate. If I was doing things over, I might think differently.
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