I didn't want to hijack this thread so I'm starting a new one...
It seems that what a man wants in a wife has changes throughout the years. I remember learning/thinking/seeing that men kinda wanted a subservient type of wife. One that worked less, was available to him and the family, one that tended to the home and children. And now it seems that men want a more independent wife, one that doesn't NEED help, one that has her own life.
It seems my husband is like this. Like he wants me to get a life so to speak, have my own thing going on so he doesn't feel guilty when he's not here. He always tells me he just wants me to be happy, like that is his one need. My friend recently got married, and she's this good girl, Christian, virgin, never lived together blah blah. And she is was telling me she is learning how to be a wife to a very laid back husband. It's like she doesn't know what to do, and she wants to do something to please him. I told her it would probably make him happy to see her get her own life so to speak. Anyway, she thinks this notion is really weird and she can't really adjust to it.
Men... am I wrong in thinking this is what you want?
I have a tendancy to agree with you Katie. However, what irks me is that it depends on the stage of life. I was a career person who wasnt planning on getting pregnant after 3 years of marriage, my H was estatic me not so. He would complain I was always working and never available to be at home or with him before I got pregnant.
We decided to have the baby.
I gave up my career (he wasn't willing to) though he was earning less than me- he did step up to the plate while I took care of household, supported his career and moved around the world for his career
However, when kids grew up he expected me to get a life, my own job, career etc and basically left me to it, with little support. It is not easy for a 40 something woman who has been out of the workforce for ten years.
While his life has been stable, supported, etc mine has been unstable with little support.
I am getting more qualifications, have a good job but feel there is little understanding or support for me having to go through so many different phases while he sails along.
I talk to my friends and they have husbands with similar mentalities, their expectations change as time goes by, yet the H sees himself as the provider, going to work coming back but the wife must do it all and manage through so many cycles in the life of the family unit.
in the long run it is better for a wife to have her own life throughout imo.