Re: Any military spouses that can identify
Not a spouse, but a military member.
There are a lot of things that could be affecting her, which in turn affects how she responds to you. What kind of unit does she work in? What kind of deployments did she do and where? Having done several deployments myself, I know what happens when the spouse is out of sight and mind. Being in close quarters with members of the opposite sex when you are far from home and lonely makes for trouble. I am not saying anything like that happened, but I saw it far to many times.
Instead of approaching it from an aspect of what is wrong with her, approach it from how the lack of emotional intimacy is affecting you. How it makes you feel? Then listen to her response and how she acts. Obviously something is going on but she has not opened up yet. It could be another, it could have been a traumatic experience overseas. Perhaps if you can express your feelings in a way that is not coming right at her, you may be able to get her to go to counseling with you to explore what is going on. I know the military offers a lot of options with regards to counseling due to the experience of the last ten years.
Best of luck, I hope that you all are able to reconnect.