I sometimes find women who have the strong "morals" to not have sex but lack those "morals" when it comes to treating people well in everyday life.
Which makes me think that *sometimes* the unwillingness to have sex is not so much a matter of morality as it is a fear/disgust/discomfort with sex itself
Which makes me think that *sometimes* the unwillingness to have sex is not so much a matter of morality as it is a fear/disgust/discomfort with sex itself
I suspect you're right. But it's easier to say "My moral position prevents me from doing this" than it is to say "I'm afraid of losing control / doing it wrong / looking stupid / feeling uncomfortable".
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Can you rokker Romani chib, pal? Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri? I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
As long as the woman comes across as approachable and non-judging, some guys will not be put off by this at all. My best friend growing up, and girlfriend, was incredibly approachable and kind, but took her own values very seriously about waiting until she was sure of a person's character before proceeding into sex. Interestingly, she became very well known after being a finalist in the state beauty pageants, and then becoming a well known TV personality.
Didn't consider myself really different than other down to earth guys, but I'll be honest that character was high on my own list when dating - okay , after college, that is. Its pretty obvious that some basic personality traits define a pretty significant subset of men and women who ultimately cheat. Since I grew up in an environment where infidelity was the norm, I was basically looking for character when dating. Not suggesting that those who proceed to sex more quickly are more likely to cheat, but there is a distinction where a person who has a real conviction of right and wrong in her life, one that is not pressured artificially by fear or religion, will tend to guard herself from infidelity.
Recognize that a woman like this must also be selective about who she is looking for, if she doesn't want to deal with regular rejections. These days, it isn't as much about religious values as much as finding men who tend to have a strong sense of their inner core values. Certain fields and careers tend to even be more filled with these types.
Yes that’s it right there. Without that it’s “sex with strangers”.
With some of the responses it’s very obvious that some just don’t know what a woman of virtue is. But it’s more than that in that they don’t know how to find them. If a woman is virtuous about her sex and has strong principles in that regard, she is also likely to have high standards as far as honesty and integrity, reliability and dependability, self control (impulse control), self denial and many other essential character qualities are concerned. Which are all linked to a person’s levels of self-esteem and self-respect.
If a woman is too easy there’ll be reasons for it.
If we put out too fast, we are labelled as loose and never asked out again.
If we do not have sex fast enough, we are too uptight and dumped for this reason.
I found this very frustrating when I was single. I have been on both sides of the sexual spectrum of morals; I went from having a mandatory 3 month minimum to having sex very fast and pretending I didn't care about emotions.
In my experience, men change once they get sex no matter how long the woman waits. It is rarely a change for the better and this makes women afraid of being used.
When my self esteem was lower, I would stay with men who were awful to me once I slept with them. My husband and I took a break when we were dating and I slept with another man while we were broken up. This man said "Just so you know, I don't want to talk about a relationship." The idiot was dumb enough to admit that he just wanted to use me. I dumped him by emailto get him back for hurting me and went back to my then boyfriend. I am glad the fool was hurt by the way I left him; he deserved it!
My advice? Wait at least ten dates and make sure that the man is courting you, not expecting you to hang out at home with him all the time. Stop dating any guy that pushes for sex right away; he is not interested in a relationship if he is pressuring you. NEVER EVER give a man your timeline, or else he will just be nice to you for the time period and dump you once he gets what he wants.
Be prepared to modify your timeline, because you may feel ready before or after it. I waited a month to sleep with my husband and he told me that most women he dated put out after just a few dates; he knew I was a keeper because I didn't give it up as fast.
My advice? make sure that the man is courting you, not expecting you to hang out at home with him all the time. Stop dating any guy that pushes for sex right away; he is not interested in a relationship if he is pressuring you. NEVER EVER give a man your timeline, or else he will just be nice to you for the time period and dump you once he gets what he wants.
I sometimes find women who have the strong "morals" to not have sex but lack those "morals" when it comes to treating people well in everyday life.
Which makes me think that *sometimes* the unwillingness to have sex is not so much a matter of morality as it is a fear/disgust/discomfort with sex itself
I think that’s kind of skewed. In that if a woman treats herself well, with respect and dignity, then she’s far more likely to treat others with respect and dignity as well.
Take another view on this. If a woman abuses herself then she is very likely to abuse others.
If we put out too fast, we are labelled as loose and never asked out again.
If we do not have sex fast enough, we are too uptight and dumped for this reason.
I found this very frustrating when I was single. I have been on both sides of the sexual spectrum of morals; I went from having a mandatory 3 month minimum to having sex very fast and pretending I didn't care about emotions.
In my experience, men change once they get sex no matter how long the woman waits. It is rarely a change for the better and this makes women afraid of being used.
When my self esteem was lower, I would stay with men who were awful to me once I slept with them. My husband and I took a break when we were dating and I slept with another man while we were broken up. This man said "Just so you know, I don't want to talk about a relationship." The idiot was dumb enough to admit that he just wanted to use me. I dumped him by emailto get him back for hurting me and went back to my then boyfriend. I am glad the fool was hurt by the way I left him; he deserved it!
My advice? Wait at least ten dates and make sure that the man is courting you, not expecting you to hang out at home with him all the time. Stop dating any guy that pushes for sex right away; he is not interested in a relationship if he is pressuring you. NEVER EVER give a man your timeline, or else he will just be nice to you for the time period and dump you once he gets what he wants.
Be prepared to modify your timeline, because you may feel ready before or after it. I waited a month to sleep with my husband and he told me that most women he dated put out after just a few dates; he knew I was a keeper because I didn't give it up as fast.
Hey, I had one man call me a hore just because I wanted to have sex in the shower.
He was insecure because his penis was the size of my baby finger and he had premature ejaculation issues. Poor guy. No wonder he did not have much sexual experience.
I stopped seeing him because the sex was so bad. I hope he found a woman with a low sex drive.
I sometimes find women who have the strong "morals" to not have sex but lack those "morals" when it comes to treating people well in everyday life.
Which makes me think that *sometimes* the unwillingness to have sex is not so much a matter of morality as it is a fear/disgust/discomfort with sex itself
Exactly! This just allows a woman to blame the situation or the man and try to remain in an otherwise-favorable situation. As in, "I really like you and think we are good together, but now is not right / what you want is wrong".
Women absolutely know that admitting "I have serious hangups, don't value a sexual relationship, and will not work to fix this" will generally be avoided as partners. We almost all forsee satisfying sex in our relationships, if only after marriage.
What you have instead (IMO) is a large number of marriages where the wives act disgusted with sex but are happy to be in a relationship with their husbands, or grudging tolerate sex, or are hot only when it's time to knock out a couple of kids.
Exactly! This just allows a woman to blame the situation or the man and try to remain in an otherwise-favorable situation. As in, "I really like you and think we are good together, but now is not right / what you want is wrong".
Women absolutely know that admitting "I have serious hangups, don't value a sexual relationship, and will not work to fix this" will generally be avoided as partners. We almost all forsee satisfying sex in our relationships, if only after marriage.
What you have instead (IMO) is a large number of marriages where the wives act disgusted with sex but are happy to be in a relationship with their husbands, or grudging tolerate sex, or are hot only when it's time to knock out a couple of kids.
Reading this site, anyone who believes women have a monopoly on this sort of behaviour is having a laugh. By the look of things, there's plenty of men who do it too.
ANYONE, of either sex who uses their supposed moral position to avoid honestly saying "I have hangups, don't value a sexual relationship, and will not work to fix it" is NOT demonstrating any real morality or character.
__________________
Can you rokker Romani chib, pal? Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri? I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
Do men prefer the women they date and intent to marry to have strong moral values? Which means, he has to wait longer for sex to happen. No nude pictures from her despite his begging. Very little drinking and no wild parties etc. Or are women with higher morals just plain boring and men avoid them?
I avoid those type of women but I don't consider your examples subjects of morality.
To me those women don't have strong morals, they have powerful repression and I don't need that type of baggage in my life creating problems. Posted via Mobile Device
Do men prefer the women they date and intent to marry to have strong moral values? Which means, he has to wait longer for sex to happen. No nude pictures from her despite his begging. Very little drinking and no wild parties etc. Or are women with higher morals just plain boring and men avoid them?
I wouldnt consider any of the above to equate to strong morals.
strict upbringing or an unhealthy sexual knowledge base, maybe.
This man said "Just so you know, I don't want to talk about a relationship." The idiot was dumb enough to admit that he just wanted to use me. I dumped him by emailto get him back for hurting me and went back to my then boyfriend. I am glad the fool was hurt by the way I left him; he deserved it!
I wouldn't exactly call it dumb, I would call it "honest to a fault"- yes, he shot himself in the foot , or you could say his balls, but at least he wasn't wasting your time or playing games, he laid it out there alright - so there would be no misunderstandings, or heartbreak in the morning.
I accually have a "resepct" for that. Too many will give you all this BS flirting , make you feel like you are the light of their life, woman gives in, then they are done with her the next day or a few weeks later, on to another to flirt, tease & leave, that is way worse than what that dude did, he saved you !!
I remember sitting down at the computer with my single GF, looking at prospects on Plenty of Fish for her, we came across this one guys profile, I was laughing my butt off, he laid it out so brutally honest...... If the woman was within such & such body size, click away, if you are bi-polor, mental issues, a stalker, click away, he laid it out in fine detail what he wanted, what he would reject, what won't be happening ....no time for this, no illisions , I mean it was in an outline form, it was genuinely a "CLASSIC" ....
I almost wish I would have copied & pasted that thing, cause I said to myself...now that joker is weeding them out from the get go -when you hook up with him, there will be NO misunderstandings to what will be ...it was just sex, it was raw and it was cause you want it. Period. He must have been reeling them in, he seemed busy!
Sick as it may sound- I had a little respect for "his way" . I Think my GF found it repulsive, but I think the ones who show they are Satan outright are somehow a cut above those who are masquerading as angels only looking for a quick lay while heeping on the deceptive charm, knowing damn well they have no interest in a relationship.
Some here will want to blast my sons' head off for this , but I asked him his thoughts on this question.... now mind you, he is a virgin male by choice who has not been burned yet by a sexually repressed female wife yet . I hope he won't have to endure such a thing considering what he is looking for. He gets mad at me for suggesting that could happen.
He answers......Most men are looking to get laid.... but his thoughs are
Quote:
...."Any man that is not worth having will avoid women with good morals , if we are talking sexual morals.... and ... any guy that is worth having won't mind because he will greatly respect that in a woman."
He added saying "Generally" because you will find some that are moral and complete retards and some who aren't moral that are really good people" so he doesn't see this all in black or white -obviously.
And I agree with Sawney, some use morality to "hide behind" - as an excuse for something they may not have any interest in at all, a nice cover.
Quote:
Sawney Beane said: ANYONE, of either sex who uses their supposed moral position to avoid honestly saying "I have hangups, don't value a sexual relationship, and will not work to fix it" is NOT demonstrating any real morality or character.
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Re: Do men avoid women with stronger morals 
The idiot was dumb enough to admit that he just wanted to use me. I dumped him by email 
to get him back for hurting me and went back to my then boyfriend. I am glad the fool was hurt by the way I left him; he deserved it!
No wonder he did not have much sexual experience.
