Jellybeans

Omg .... what? I thought this post was being sarcastic. This post is just :/ to me.
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YinPrincess

I'm not being sarcastic at all... Seems like women have lots of incentives to get married - financial security and children - that I can think of right off the bat... But what's in it for a man? Especially if the woman loses interest in intimacy?

I'm just sayin' - I really feel for the guys... Even my husband says there is really no reason to if he's getting sex, combined finances, shared responsibilities, etc. With a live-in as opposed to a spouse. (I didn't know he felt that way when we got married, but I actually kind of agree with him).

I guess it's the old "why buy the cow if the milk is free" adage. :/
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Runs like Dog

Why? People are stupid and afraid and don't want to spend their nights alone in the cave listening to the alpha carnivores circle the entrance and waiting for the fire to die down.

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tacoma

I could simply hire a maid for less money.

But I wouldn`t, I have no problem doing these things for myself.

Jellybeans

Good for you, Tacoma. A lot of men don't. I still can't believe this thread. Especially coming from a woman. Yin you said "children and financial security" were incentives for women...but...the children belong to the couple, not one party.... re; financial security: its 50/50 in divorce. And I didn't get anywhere near that in my own D. Just...wow. "Women do nothing and reap everything and poor men...there's really nothing in it for them if they get marred." Its like the Twilight Zone.
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YinPrincess

I was just wondering and thought I'd ask. There isn't much you can get out of marriage that you can't get with a live-in partner. I just wanted to know what those few things were. Am I just naïve here? :/
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Runs like Dog

People who are legally married get to legally pull the plug on one another if it comes to that.

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Jellybeans

Lol Runs
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tacoma

JB more often then not the default position for child custody is the woman.
Children are the number one reason men stay in miserable marriages.They know unless their wife is unfit they really haven`t a chance of gaining custody.

Same with money.

Even a 50/50 split leaves me on the short end of the stick.
Every penny we have saved is directly due to my income.
So I essentially lose 1/2 of what I`ve earned.

I see very little incentive if any really for a man in marriage.
The upside is I`m starting to see very little incentive for woman in marriage as well.

As a previous poster stated, maybe this is the beginning of the end of the institution.

Conrad

You think she would?

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Jellybeans

If she was anything like I was as a wife, she would do all that and more.
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Runs like Dog

Well to me it's an odd question. Men want love and life long companionship and trust and faith just like you ovarians.

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tacoma

This can`t be had without marriage?

The OPs base question was what is the benefit of marriage opposed to a LTR for a man?

I`d argue the trust and faith is shallow if it needs the threat of an ugly divorce to keep it intact.

So arguably a committed LTR is showing more trust and faith than a marriage since it relies on nothing but desire opposed to legal ramifications for failure.

Runs like Dog

I don't know. What I do know is that there @ TAM there's a large number of people who talk about their own very very long term common law relationships who, for whatever reason decide after years to get married and all the nuclear sh^t hits the fan. So clearly something is was different for THEM. I imagine for every couple the details are ineffable, hard to describe, but at a holistic view they're all the same reason. Maybe if you asked 50 men you'd get 50 answers, but in the end they all more or less signify the same thing - stability. What's in it for men? The end game, the pursuit is over and the target has been acquired and locked down. What's in it for men is the women.

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Mistys dad

What I learned from marriage:

2 cinder blocks and a piece of lumber is definitely NOT furniture.

"Dogs playing poker" is NOT art.

Beer is not a breakfast food.

Parking a motorcycle in the living room during a storm is, for some reason, not appropriate.

No wonder marriage is confusing....sigh.....