While this does not describe my feelings or experience with my husband, I do agree with you. If being married is important to someone, then yes, I completely agree. Maybe if there's going to be cohabiting, and marriage is important, there should at the very least, be clear boundaries/expectations from the start? Or don't live together if marriage isn't going to be on the table later. I have a friend in a similar scenario, living with her boyfriend for 5 years, asking me "Why hasn't he proposed?"
I tell her I'm the wrong person to talk to about this.
You are too kind Heartsbeating......I would lay it out in all it's glory, that it precisly why I am either loved for my honesty or hated for stepping on a few toes.
I feel a woman in that situation has the best chance of getting married if she ups & leaves him.... lets him know that is very important to her -even if she did change her mind from before.... that is her wish in life....and she will not coerce him nor brow beat him.....
Often when we are faced with loosing someone we love, we look up, we take it more serious. If something was there, some Hold she had on him, he will feel that, not want to loose her , he will suddenly want to fight for that ...and part of that is stepping up to the plate to please her. And she didn't have to brow beat him into it !
That would be my advice to any of them. If he doesn't care that she is moving on, miss her terribly, chances are very high he would have never married her anyway, so her walking away, as much as It may hurt & rip her apart.... would be the best thing -for her future... Again IF "marraige" meant that much to her. It doesn't for many.