I think she does want children - and they are religious, so this will have an effect too.
I always felt my husband did right by me, even before being married. I never questioned his commitment or love to me.
I never did either, I don't mean to imply that, it is only a problem if 2 "world views" are different, and one is wanting something else -like your girl friend.
We even lived together for 8 months before we married. As soon as we moved in together, I started planning all the fine details of our big wedding. Many likely looked down on us for that (surrounded by Christians), but I didn't really care...It was "right" for us at that time, kinda all the stars lined up together for us to end up in that little house on a hill in that particular year to push us forward to our destiny. Most would never believe it but we still waited to have real sex. I /we had much sexual discipline back then.
That doesn't answer the question about if steady sex is an incentive for a man to marry. That was the comment I responded to and that you in turn responded to me on. All of the things you listed are not an incentive to get married. A man can get all of those while single. I thought the question was about the incentive for a man to marry. You gave examples of how to keep a man happy so I really don't know where you're going with it.
Who marries for sex? Honest question.
No man can get what I mentioned while single because no woman is willing to play nurse maid to a grown man.....only a wife, a pathetic one. Grow up men! If you want to be screwed and screwed well, stop acting like children. The fact that you say my examples are what keeps a man happy says it all. In other words, Child 2.0 and THAT'S what I see here time and time again. I don't f@ck children and neither do any other woman here. Act like a man, soothe your own ego and press on. Jesus.
I will state once again, never saw this behavior until I came here. NEVER and I have 5 dudes as friends, 31 years of friendship with one and the "newest" is 19 years as friends.
I never did either, I don't mean to imply that, it is only a problem if 2 "world views" are different, and one is wanting something else -like your girl friend.
.Well, you certainly put your needs aside when you agreed to have unwanted children!
Yes I did. And I did it all for the sake of our family and my wife. I am not expecting praise for what I sacrificed because I love my kids and wife and they love me. But I did have to give away a lot of myself in order to fulfill my wife. I has worked out better than I could have ever imagined.
Is snaking out a toilet clogged with a tampon housework? Is clearing nasty, rotting hair clogs from the shower and lavatory drains housework? Is replacing the disposal housework? -Repairing and/or replacing the water heater? -Fixing faucets? -Installing a new dishwasher? -Replacing pet**** and saddle valves? -Changing R.O. filters?
How about painting the exterior of the house? -Fixing roof damage and replacing roof tiles/shingles? -Maintaining the storm gutters and flashings? -Actually re-roofing the house? -Landscaping the yard? -Raking leaves? -Cutting the grass? -Trimming tall trees? -Mixing insecticide? -Sweeping the chimney? -Replacing smoke detectors?
Is fixing electrical problems housework? -Vacuuming duct work? Cleaning the air handler? Hosing condenser coils? Purging the drip line?
Is maintaining the cars housework? -Fixing dead batteries, flat tires and fluid leaks? Is pressure washing the decks, driveway, patio and sidewalks housework? Is sweeping the curb gutters housework? -Washing window exteriors on the second floor? -Fixing sliding doors and windows?
When you own your house and property, there is always something either broken, in the process of breaking, or in need of service so it won't break. And part of the reason that men and women usually make an effective team together is because generally, our interests and abilities are not exactly the same.
We are just lowly renters, so we don't have those problems. Call the landlord!
I did, however, grow up in a four bedroom house and I saw how much work was involved. Our washer and dryer, along with our fridge all broke down at the same time one summer.
Dean, your wife was a very very smart woman in my book ...kudoos to her We need more women like that today, holding something back, making something extra special, allowing the man to wait. Then they wouldn't be complainig no man wants to commit & marry them.....we need to give them some real "incentive" where they feel it in their heart or in between the legs... after all I bet you sure wanted to wake up to her on some of those HARD mornings lying next to you.
We need to show our boyfriends there is something to look forward too, something they crave -and they ain't gettin' it until they step up, be a real man, make it official... if that is what the woman wants anyway. Too many complain afterwards but they contributed to allowing the casual living together situation, then they get mad & start pestering their very content boyfriends. What good is that, reduces her to a beggar.
Your wife knew how to get you !! Love it!
My husband and I were engaged within a month of living together.
We were married the following year. I never begged him for marriage, thanks.
Not every woman needs to withhold everything to become a wife! This is not 1945.
My parents shacked up while they were engaged and they have been together for forty years.
Even royal couples live together before marriage.
There are some men who are modern enough not to equate living together with being loose.
Three weeks ago I had kidney stones passing through me.
I had to take three days off for them to pass, to put it into perspective it was the first time in 17 years I`ve even taken a sick day.
I spent those three days in either a fugue of pain or Percocet induced daze.
Sometime during one of my drug induced hazes as my wife ran herself ragged doing anything & everything she could for me the thought crossed my mind that I`d be screwed if I were single.
It`s the only time in my life I`ve ever been physically incapable of taking care of myself.
Not an incentive I guess but definitely a benefit.
This is an excellent source of information for the married couple on the benefits of marriage, and why it is not the same as “living together.” they provide a wealth of statistics, sound reasoning to explain them, and detailed readings into 100s of published studies to make sense of the impact of marriage. However, while the authors avoid taking a stand in this book on the impact of marriage for gay and lesbian couples, and only acknowledge that it is a point for controversy, Maggie Gallagher has been quite outspoken against it. Prejudice aside, the work is still quite good and a basic reference in this area. They argue that the promise of permanency is what makes marriage more of a beneficial relationship than simply living together. This allows each to direct their resources to different areas, to specialize in some areas while the other specializes in other areas. Instead of having to be proficient in all areas, they can divide up their responsibilities and accomplish more by working together."
And apparently, in regards to health, men benefit more from marriage than women...
"Married people live longer as well. Single men have mortality rates that are 250% higher than married men. Single women have mortality rates that are 50% higher than married women (Ross et all, 1990). Having a spouse can decrease your risk for dying from cancer as much as knocking ten years off your life. Single people spend longer in the hospital, and have a greater risk of dying after surgery (Goodwin et al, 1987)."
Can Cohabitators Make Their Relationship Just Like Marriage?
While there were eight times as many cohabitating couples in the 1990 census as in the 1980 census, marriage and living together are not the same. Cohabitating couples do not have the same kind of commitment. Waite and Gallagher note that cohabitating couples are less likely to be sexually faithful. Faithful partners do not worry about sexually translated diseases, are more likely to work to improve their sexual relationship, and do not have to worry about sexual jealousy. Cohabitating couples are also less likely to manage their money as well. In a couple who live together, one can spend extravagantly, while the other says little about it so long as the bills are paid. On the other hand, in a married couple, if one spends extravagantly, the other may have plenty to say about it.
Cohabitating couples are also less likely to monitor each others’ health, remind one to go to the dentist, prepare healthy meals, and speak up about unhealthy behaviors like smoking, drinking, and reckless driving. They also do not specialize in different areas, since they know the relationship could end without strings. Further, women who were more career oriented were more likely to cohabitate (57%), as were men who rated their leisure time as more important (53%) (Clarkberg, 1995). However, cohabitators tend to hold more positive ideas about divorce, and more negative attitudes about marriage in general as well. Cohabitating women do not show the same level of high risk behaviors that single men do, but they are more likely to be accompanying such single men (Umberson, 1987). Married women are more likely to have private health insurance (about 80%) than single women (about 50%) (Hahn, 1993).
I don't know about that above. Hubs and I lived together for 18 months before deciding to get married. We had a lawyer draw up papers for living wills, power of attorneys (both financial and medical) and trusts. It was in those 18 months that I got Hubs to get a physical and see a dentist. We were 'married' in every sense of the word, minus the certificate of marriage and a ceremony.
We lived together for years before marriage, finances combined and agreed upon, bought and sold property together, living a health-conscious life, helping each other to be healthy encouraging exercise and such; but we're also both adults and don't need 'reminders' to go to the dentist. Is that serious? As for faithful partners, my husband has been my only lover. I was selective, as was he.
I personally don't think it makes sense but maybe that's because we're not a "statistic". That paragraph seems off to me.
We lived together for years before marriage, finances combined and agreed upon, bought and sold property together, living a health-conscious life, helping each other to be healthy encouraging exercise and such; but we're also both adults and don't need 'reminders' to go to the dentist. Is that serious? As for faithful partners, my husband has been my only lover. I was selective, as was he.
I personally don't think it makes sense but maybe that's because we're not a "statistic". That paragraph seems off to me.
I don't put much weight in statistics if I be honest. It's my experience that you can find a statistic to back up just about anything.
Can I ask, and please don't be offended as that's not why I ask, but if things were so great and everything was like being married why did you marry him?
5Likes
Re: Male Incentive for Marriage? 
This is not 1945.
We were 'married' in every sense of the word, minus the certificate of marriage and a ceremony.
