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Male Incentive for Marriage?

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#161 · (Edited)
I was on my own for years too. Didn't make a difference in my parent's eyes.

Their controlling attitude was the reason we eloped. I was supposed to have this huge, ridiculous spectacle and my parents were supposed to "give me to my husband." They wanted me to cover my face with the veil. :rofl:

It is not 1953. Modern brides are independent and leave home long before they are married.
 
#162 ·
Here's something interesting.

From the February edition of the Journal of Marriage and Familly article titled Reexamining the Case for Marriage: Union Formation and Changes in Well-being.


The effects of marriage and cohabitation are found to be similar across a range of measures tapping psychological well-being, health, and social ties. Where there are statistically significant differences, marriage is not always more advantageous. Overall, differences tend to be small and appear to dissipate over time, even when the greater instability of cohabitation is taken into account.

In conclusion, we are certainly not saying that marriage is irrelevant for individual wellbeing. What we have found is simply that, once individual differences are taken into account, it is far from a blanket prescription for individual well-being. To those in highly conflicted marriages or who have gone through divorce, this sociological insight is only a firm grasp of the obvious. At the same time, for many others, marriage is a great source of happiness and well-being that it is expected to be for a lifetime, or at least for a portion of the life course. Recent campaigns to promote marriage are based on the assumption that marriage will improve the well-being of individuals, and in a context of scarce resources, they divert time and money away from other policy levers. Better understanding the circumstances and individual and couple characteristics under which marriage is likely to improve well-being is a critical interdisciplinary challenge with important policy implications.
NOTE
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#163 ·
that_girl said:
Asking for the woman's hand is so special. However, i was on my own for 7 years. My mom was not the one to give me away. lol.
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My wife and I date for almost five years, and she had been out of school and on her own for over four years when I proposed, so her parents did not give her away and I just could not bring myself to ask for their permission.

I did know it was important to my wife and to them, so I told them before I asked her and asked for their blessing. Perhaps it is a minor difference, but it made sense to me and kept everyone happy.
 
#164 ·
YinPrincess said:
Woman's thread about female proposal got my husband and I talking about marriage - and why men would do it... I personally cannot think of any reason for a man to get married unless he wants "legitimate" children... My husband couldn't think of any reasons, either, that couldn't be covered by a couple merely co-habitating. (These reasons included sex, (I know - just an idea), combining of finances, companionship and having shared household responsibilities).

So what incentive does a man really have to get married these days? It seems like he risks so much for so little benefit... And if the marriage fails he could potentially have more to lose...
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To me marriage is big deal, its my biggest dream in life to love a single girl with my whole heart and receive love in return. I really want to spend my life with a simple girl who truely loves me and who will never cheat on me.

Well here are some things that i am looking forward in a marriage.

1. Holding the love of my life in my arms makes me feel like the most powerful person of this planet, its really relaxing and feels good.

2. Someone to occasionally or if possible regularly cook food for me, i love it when a girl cooks food for me, even if the food tastes a little bad i would love to eat it as she has put efforts to make that food for me which i really appreciate and love.

3. Holding someone in my arms while i go to sleep will really give me a sound sleep.

4. Once married, i would love to pay for everything like home, vehicle, fuels everything. i don't expect my wife to share any of the expenses, also i don't expect my wife to work too, i would love a house wife although if she wants to work then i wouldn't stop her from doing so.

5. Most important thing that i expect from my wife and most of the guys do is to never cheat on me or leave me, i would be devastated if my wife ever leaves me or cheat on me, she can keep secrets but if she has a secret affair i can never live with that.

6. Making love with her would definitely by another incentive for me, i would do me best to keep her pleased if she truly loves me, again i know i mention love love too many times but then again that's how i am i am hopeless romantic give and i am really expecting a loving wife.

7. A lifetime companion, having a good home, car or pretty much ever other comfort is worthless if you don't have someone to share it with, who better than a good wife could be a better companion to share these comforts with.

8. Would love to have children too.

P.S. i know i might have gone off topic on some points but then again, i just said pretty much everything that i want to say also sorry for my horrible English, my native language is not English.
 
#165 ·
FirstYearDown said:
It hurts like hell that I never got to enjoy any rites of passage. I had no prom, no nice proposal and an elopement which was simply the lesser of two evils. :(:(
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But it's worked out. Don't focus on the negatives.

I've had friends have everything "perfect" and they divorce 2 years later. Who cares about how it's done....as long as it lasts.
 
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#166 ·
One word of caution.

I know this list makes sense to you.

I could have written it nearly 30 years ago.

Do not assume this is how a woman sees things.


datingopinionz said:
To me marriage is big deal, its my biggest dream in life to love a single girl with my whole heart and receive love in return. I really want to spend my life with a simple girl who truely loves me and who will never cheat on me.

Well here are some things that i am looking forward in a marriage.

1. Holding the love of my life in my arms makes me feel like the most powerful person of this planet, its really relaxing and feels good.

2. Someone to occasionally or if possible regularly cook food for me, i love it when a girl cooks food for me, even if the food tastes a little bad i would love to eat it as she has put efforts to make that food for me which i really appreciate and love.

3. Holding someone in my arms while i go to sleep will really give me a sound sleep.

4. Once married, i would love to pay for everything like home, vehicle, fuels everything. i don't expect my wife to share any of the expenses, also i don't expect my wife to work too, i would love a house wife although if she wants to work then i wouldn't stop her from doing so.

5. Most important thing that i expect from my wife and most of the guys do is to never cheat on me or leave me, i would be devastated if my wife ever leaves me or cheat on me, she can keep secrets but if she has a secret affair i can never live with that.

6. Making love with her would definitely by another incentive for me, i would do me best to keep her pleased if she truly loves me, again i know i mention love love too many times but then again that's how i am i am hopeless romantic give and i am really expecting a loving wife.

7. A lifetime companion, having a good home, car or pretty much ever other comfort is worthless if you don't have someone to share it with, who better than a good wife could be a better companion to share these comforts with.

8. Would love to have children too.

P.S. i know i might have gone off topic on some points but then again, i just said pretty much everything that i want to say also sorry for my horrible English, my native language is not English.
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#168 ·
Conrad said:
One word of caution.

I know this list makes sense to you.

I could have written it nearly 30 years ago.

Do not assume this is how a woman sees things.
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You couldn't be more wrong if you tried. If my husband wrote that out and presented it to me, I would break down in tears and love him for the rest of our lives.
Men, read this list. Read it again and again. It IS what women want as well.
 
#169 ·
I asked my husband what his incentive was for marrying me.

He said, "Your Sunday breakfasts."

:rofl: nice, babe.
 
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#170 ·
Conrad said:
It might have something more to do with 18 years (minimum) of child support payments.
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Yup, 20-25%. I would KILL to only pay that. I pay college tuition (after scholarship) of $15k a year, he lives with us and eats us out of house and home, between his tuition, his food costs/school fees/parking/health/car insurance, he costs me nearly $30K a year. According to current laws though, if I divorced my husband he wouldn't be required in any way to pay for his college aged son. Son's car broke down yesterday and it will take 1 week (a rental now needed) and $1900 to fix it and my youngest split his chin open on Tuesday which cost $600 as our co-pay. Yeah, child support is such a burden. I'd take it ANY DAY over actually having to support children. :rolleyes:
 
#172 ·
I think marriage today is essentially just a security blanket for both partners and makes it just a bit harder for either partner to stray. It therefore increases the possibility of long term survival of the relationship which is good for the children.

When you are in a serious long-term relationship, those improved odds seem attractive.

When you are not in one, the financial risks of divorce appear more overwhelming.
 
#173 ·
datingopinionz said:
To me marriage is big deal, its my biggest dream in life to love a single girl with my whole heart and receive love in return. I really want to spend my life with a simple girl who truely loves me and who will never cheat on me.

Well here are some things that i am looking forward in a marriage.

1. Holding the love of my life in my arms makes me feel like the most powerful person of this planet, its really relaxing and feels good.

2. Someone to occasionally or if possible regularly cook food for me, i love it when a girl cooks food for me, even if the food tastes a little bad i would love to eat it as she has put efforts to make that food for me which i really appreciate and love.

3. Holding someone in my arms while i go to sleep will really give me a sound sleep.

4. Once married, i would love to pay for everything like home, vehicle, fuels everything. i don't expect my wife to share any of the expenses, also i don't expect my wife to work too, i would love a house wife although if she wants to work then i wouldn't stop her from doing so.

5. Most important thing that i expect from my wife and most of the guys do is to never cheat on me or leave me, i would be devastated if my wife ever leaves me or cheat on me, she can keep secrets but if she has a secret affair i can never live with that.

6. Making love with her would definitely by another incentive for me, i would do me best to keep her pleased if she truly loves me, again i know i mention love love too many times but then again that's how i am i am hopeless romantic give and i am really expecting a loving wife.

7. A lifetime companion, having a good home, car or pretty much ever other comfort is worthless if you don't have someone to share it with, who better than a good wife could be a better companion to share these comforts with.

8. Would love to have children too.

P.S. i know i might have gone off topic on some points but then again, i just said pretty much everything that i want to say also sorry for my horrible English, my native language is not English.
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I agree with Brighteyes ! When I read this list, you know what I was thinking.... this man has the exact same heart as my dear husband...he is old fashioned, he is a romantic, Love is what he craves in life, he is a family man, he believes strongly in the Responsibility of a MAN , and he wants to be treated with respect & love , and passion in the bedroom and a warm body to hold sure is something sweet --he sounds like a Simple Man with a HUGE heart...who has his priorities right.

And to this I say... A good woman will be very deserving of a man like you...please do not sell yourself short, make sure she is made of exactly what you are wanting here before you walk her down that aisle. Look for character, and don't marry too soon, get to know her inside and out & make sure you are compatable.

Cause YOU are a freaking Gem -at least in my eyes ! :):):)

And a hopeless romantic ! Very sweet!
 
#174 ·
SimplyAmorous said:
I agree with Brighteyes ! When I read this list, you know what I was thinking.... this man has the exact same heart as my dear husband...he is old fashioned, he is a romantic, Love is what he craves in life, he is a family man, he believes strongly in the Responsibility of a MAN , and he wants to be treated with respect & love , and passion in the bedroom and a warm body to hold sure is something sweet --he sounds like a Simple Man with a HUGE heart...who has his priorities right.

And to this I say... A good woman will be very deserving of a man like you...please do not sell yourself short, make sure she is made of exactly what you are wanting here before you walk her down that aisle. Look for character, and don't marry too soon, get to know her inside and out & make sure you are compatable.

Cause YOU are a freaking Gem -at least in my eyes ! :):):)

And a hopeless romantic ! Very sweet!
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thanks :) well i am simple and i like to keep my life simple as well as others, and surely i wont hurry into marriage rather i just can't get married until i am truly assured that the girl i love - loves me equally.
 
#175 · (Edited)
*Dean* said:
But your pay back will be when they both get married, have kids, you get to spoil the children rotten. Then smile and kiss everyone goodbye and say it was so nice to see you and thanks for coming to visit. Grandpa and I are off to Europe for a few weeks.
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Oh I get it. My sons are awesome, they just are. They are worth every single cent we ever paid to feed them, clothe them and nurture them. What I cannot understand is a person who moans that 20% is too much or is in some way more than they should pay. 20%?!?! I would kill to only pay that. Can I sign up for that?
 
#176 ·
The observation was that women initiate divorce at a much higher rate than men.

Those who get paid for their efforts tend to initiate.

That's an unbreakable rule of nature.



 
#178 ·
SimplyAmorous said:
I agree with Brighteyes ! When I read this list, you know what I was thinking.... this man has the exact same heart as my dear husband...he is old fashioned, he is a romantic, Love is what he craves in life, he is a family man, he believes strongly in the Responsibility of a MAN , and he wants to be treated with respect & love , and passion in the bedroom and a warm body to hold sure is something sweet --he sounds like a Simple Man with a HUGE heart...who has his priorities right.

And to this I say... A good woman will be very deserving of a man like you...please do not sell yourself short, make sure she is made of exactly what you are wanting here before you walk her down that aisle. Look for character, and don't marry too soon, get to know her inside and out & make sure you are compatable.

Cause YOU are a freaking Gem -at least in my eyes ! :):):)

And a hopeless romantic ! Very sweet!
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Ditto! Ditto! Ditto!
 
#180 ·
Therealbrighteyes said:
You couldn't be more wrong if you tried. If my husband wrote that out and presented it to me, I would break down in tears and love him for the rest of our lives.
Men, read this list. Read it again and again. It IS what women want as well.
Click to expand...
You are not every woman just like I am not every man. Some men AND women look at that list and burst out in laughter while others are touched beyond words. Each person is different.
 
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