Male Incentive for Marriage?
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Old 01-18-2012, 07:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Male Incentive for Marriage?

Woman's thread about female proposal got my husband and I talking about marriage - and why men would do it... I personally cannot think of any reason for a man to get married unless he wants "legitimate" children... My husband couldn't think of any reasons, either, that couldn't be covered by a couple merely co-habitating. (These reasons included sex, (I know - just an idea), combining of finances, companionship and having shared household responsibilities).

So what incentive does a man really have to get married these days? It seems like he risks so much for so little benefit... And if the marriage fails he could potentially have more to lose...
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Old 01-18-2012, 07:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

It`s not very romantic at all but my incentive for marriage was my wifes sense of security.

She`d never had anything to make her feel as if her world couldn`t come crashing down at any minute.

I wanted a child, she already had two and their father was a deadbeat who did nothing but make her life difficult.
She wouldn`t have had my child without the security she saw in marriage.

Marriage for me was and still is a huge risk and roll of the dice.
I left myself entirely at her mercy because it`s what she needed to build a family with me.

I haven`t gained a thing from marriage I couldn`t have gained without it except the woman I love.

That`s enough for me to justify the risk and the sacrifices.
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Old 01-18-2012, 07:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

Well my husband and I got married to prove our parents wrong. lol.

We were fine just living together, although, maybe some men get married so they don't lose their women.
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Old 01-18-2012, 07:56 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

I see. I think that's why my husband married me, although we didn't start out with the idea of children in the picture.

He says he just wanted to live with me and I wouldn't let him until we were married.
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Old 01-18-2012, 08:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

I never planned on getting married. I wanted him though. I never had the dream of marriage and no religious view with it. We were living together, combined finances, property etc. If we'd broken up pre-marriage, where we live at least, we would be treated much the same a married couple with regards to division of assets.

Marriage became more important to him. I said yes without hesitation but the love and our relationship felt the same to me, before and after marriage. We had a conversation the other day, whereby I was realizing part of my personality had him essentially 'chasing' me, without me consciously doing this and we talked how there was a delicate balance of him wanting me yet I was always a tad elusive (for lack of better word). I never doubted him or our love. It's just the way I was.

He mentioned times where he expressed how much he WANTED me ....including for marriage. And what became clear to me was his needs had changed. While he likes when I'm somewhat 'independent' he also needs to KNOW that he has stability with me. I think my marrying him helped him see that I am there with him.

For my husband, it's a sign of our love, commitment and stability, and perhaps reassurance. Either way, there's something cool about being Mrs Batman.
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Old 01-18-2012, 08:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

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Originally Posted by YinPrincess View Post
Woman's thread about female proposal got my husband and I talking about marriage - and why men would do it... I personally cannot think of any reason for a man to get married unless he wants "legitimate" children... My husband couldn't think of any reasons, either, that couldn't be covered by a couple merely co-habitating. (These reasons included sex, (I know - just an idea), combining of finances, companionship and having shared household responsibilities).

So what incentive does a man really have to get married these days? It seems like he risks so much for so little benefit... And if the marriage fails he could potentially have more to lose...
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Ahh...a woman who thinks like a man. Always refreshing.

There's a lot of men who think this actually. Especially when the alternative of being a womanizing playboy is there.

You do wonder as a man, why would I want this.

But I think marriage is good if two people are settled in life, share common goals, interests and values and truly love each other and want to build a life together.

But that takes a mature man to realize. I doubt most guys in their 20s realize those things.

But there is a lot of social, communal and sometimes family pressure to get married. As well as from the girl.

And most of us are ignorant about relationships and learn painful lessons that may be more inhibiting if not properly addressed and worked through.

So unfortunately, I think a lot of people make mistakes, and thus marriage gets a bad rap.
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Old 01-18-2012, 08:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

There is no reason.

Especially if your partner simply refuses to be nice to you and insists on "putting you in your place"
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Old 01-18-2012, 08:58 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

Not even to have "legitimate" children? LoL!
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

Children are always legitimate. It's the parents who are bastards.

My oldest isn't 'legitimate'....but wtf? She's still alive and real. lol! Not any less of a human because her father is a tool.
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

Marriage rates are falling.

Many men are "opting out" because of the financial and legal ramifications of a marriage gone wrong.

Just google marriage strike.
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:24 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

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Marriage rates are falling.

Many men are "opting out" because of the financial and legal ramifications of a marriage gone wrong.

Just google marriage strike.

The articles I`ve read show women just as gun-shy as the men.

Can`t say I blame them.
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:31 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

That_Girl - didn't mean to offend, I just meant having children within marriage - kind of an old-fashioned idea, but really the only one I could think of for a man to get married? No judgments here... There are plenty of "illegitimate" kids in my family lol
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:37 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

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The articles I`ve read show women just as gun-shy as the men.

Can`t say I blame them.
True enough.

The institution of marriage has become a financial negative.

Social morays about sex have pretty much disappeared.

Women are more financially stable and less dependent than ever before.

More children are being born outside of marriage than ever.

Maybe it is the end of marriage.
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:42 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

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Originally Posted by Mistys dad View Post
True enough.

The institution of marriage has become a financial negative.

Social morays about sex have pretty much disappeared.

Women are more financially stable and less dependent than ever before.

More children are being born outside of marriage than ever.

Maybe it is the end of marriage.
Maybe that`s not such a bad thing.
I don`t know.
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:49 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Male Incentive for Marriage?

I wish I had a wife. Seriously. Someone to cook and clean and help pay the bills and maintain a home and decorate and entertain and pick up my drycleaning.
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