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Father's Day an affront to single mothers???

7K views 79 replies 36 participants last post by  Dannip 
#1 ·
So this was a head scratcher to me. So Father's Day has come and gone. I recognize, least in all the places I have lived, that Father's Day isn't as advertised or as commercialized as Mother's Day. That's not what this thread is about though.

Yesterday on fraudbook my GF showes me this rant by some conservative lady who is going on about these feminists who are saying that Father's Day is an affront to feminism and single mothers. I guess the premise is that single mothers are also dad's ??? so they should also be recognized on Father's Day? Course it goes further to all traditional families are wrong and men aren't needed and blah blah blah.

Have any of you heard of this before? I never heard of such a thing and At first my thought was this is being way WAY overstated, However the level of stupidity in the country is at an all time high so maybe something to it. Anyway I have never heard this opinion expressed out loud just wonder if anyone here has.
 
#2 ·
I've been hearing that nonsense for the last 15 or so years. Only the crazy feminists agree. It's just that the crazy feminists are getting louder because it gets rateings. You didn't hear about it as much before because news used to be news. Now it's just entertainment

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#4 ·
Opinions are like a-holes. Everyone has one. I would then say Mother's Day is personal affront to single men with children.

Let's cancel all holidays and birthdays. No wait, I believe Jehovah Witness do this already.


Flatulence Book is just a soapbox for nonsense and useless noise.
 
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#7 ·
I am a firm believer that if you do more than 50% of the parenting, then you are allowed to have a bite from the other Hallmark holiday. Not that any of it really matters much, but why would anyone care if a woman is raising kids by herself or a man, doing the same thing, gets love on the opposite sex's parent day?
 
#10 ·
I suppose this could be considered an extension of the recent trend of glorification, pedistalization, and cannonization of motherhood. What was once a day of recognition in Mothers Day has become a day of mother worship, and those who tend to accept it as such will also tend to see recognition of anyone other than Mothers as somehow diminishing the importance of mothers. These types of people also tend to be very defensive and see things in far more black and white terms, and see many situations as zero sum, meaning what is given to one person necessarily has to take something away from someone else.
 
#11 ·
Pick any crazy idea and you will find some group on the internet who is all behind it.

People who want to be outraged simply need something to be outraged about.

This is so stupid that it hardly deserves even a mention.
 
#12 ·
I was raised by a widow. Mothers Day and Fathers Day were viewed as "Hallmark Card" holidays and did not carry the weight of "actual" holidays like Easter or Christmas.

If anybody is upset by an occasion that affirms the role a parent, relative or any other role model then I submit that they have deeper issues than hurt feelings and that their upbringing was lacking in the true meaning of humility and renders the occasion meaningless to them.
 
#15 ·
People will B about anything.

For Father's day, I bought Odo some nice gifts, because I knew his own children wouldn't bother. He could care less about the holiday but I want him to know that he's appreciated. I don't need a holiday to do that, but I think any father would love some appreciation on HIS day.
 
#19 ·
So some conservative person went on a rant. She probably found some meme somewhere and thought she would tag all Feminists with some loony thing. That's a thing, you know? Just like some liberals find things to rant against conservatives and attribute all kinds of nonsense to them.

While I agree that emotions and craziness are pretty high right now in the US, being Against Father's Day is not a Thing. I would argue that today's best-known and most-respected feminist is Sheryl Sandberg, of Facebook and "Lean In" fame. She has said that one of the best advantages for a woman is a great, supportive spouse. She sings the praises of good Dads. Most of today's feminists fight for maternal and paternal leave, and most of the Stay-At-Home-Dads are probably married to feminist women, who are willing to go out and be the breadwinners. I've yet to ever come across any serious movement to get rid of Father's Day.

So I think your first thoughts on the issue are right. It was overblown and really, probably just a spokesperson riling up the base.
 
#21 ·
Mothers day and fathers day are hallmark days for sure.


SO WHAT.

Mothers and fathers should be given a day and children should let them know that they appreciate them even if its a stupid card that you over paid for.

Kids need to learn how to show appreciation and this is one of the ways to teach them.

My friend whos daughter was excluded from his life as much as possible as she grew up. Because he had standards he pushed her to do good in school and tried to teach her right from wrong. his x ended up letting her drop out of school. he tried to reconnect with her a couple of months ago with limited success. he tried to take her out for fathers day and she text him that because he wasn't there for her she don't really want any part of spending time with him.

He was pretty sad this fathers day.
 
#22 ·
When I was in elementary school, making a card or some little craft project for Mother's Day and Father's Day was pretty standard fare. Now there are a fair number of schools in some parts of the country that don't do that anymore because it reportedly makes the children either upset or confused and offends the single or non-traditional parents. To avoid offending anyone, they just don't do anything to recognize the holidays.

Honestly, I don't much care about Mother's Day, or any of the other Hallmark Holidays, but I do find it a little unsettling that our society has become so focused on being politically correct that we're afraid to celebrate anyone for anything in case it makes someone else feel left out.
 
#24 ·
Well I disagree with almost everything today, Guess I'm just in the mood. Fathers day is a totally commercialized holiday. Historically Fathers day was started to honor a Single Father. The holiday was so unpopular that it had to be saved by retailers, looking to sell men's fashions and accessories. In modern day the sales have shifted to grills and tools. Making fathers day Saturday possibly the worst day to visit a home improvement store.

Personally I believe that Fathers day has become nothing more than a guilt holiday. After being gifted at valentines, and mothers day many women seem to feel that they really should do something to make it more even by giving a man a present. While this may in fact assuage some guilt, the Men rarely feel the love because of the traditions of Fathers day. First the gifts, Tools to complete the "Honey-do" projects that he has already been nagged about. This is the rough equivalent of giving a woman a vacuum cleaner for mothers day. Grills, Traditionally Mothers day includes an elaborate Brunch to free the mother from cooking on her special day, while the man is expected to cook, adding an extra duty to his day. Ties, are in effect telling a man that he doesn't know how to dress and that wearing a little noose around his neck somehow makes him look successful, when in fact it is a sign of servitude.

The accidental upside of fathers day over mothers day is that it isn't held during the traditional school year thus freeing men from receiving macaroni necklaces.

If Fathers day is an affront to anyone it is an affront to fathers. Of course Single mothers however they may feel are free to ignore the father of their children. They are also free to persecute him, bad mouth him poison the children against him, defraud him and so on. It is a bit of a surprise that so many single mothers encourage their children to gift and honor their fathers on this day, but many of them do do exactly this.

This year I got 2 text messages and a kick in the shins. And I did grill. about average emotional gain.
 
#27 ·
Yeah, I've heard of it. Feminists are dumb, rabid and crazy. Not that Father's Day is important. Kind of a "meh" faux-holiday.

There's some definite irony in seeing women who are single mothers--a problem 100% their fault--decrying the dads they chose to have kids with. Maybe they should have thought about who they had sex with? Maybe promiscuity is bad? Maybe, if you knew the actual consequences of single-parenthood on children, you might not celebrate your "You go girl! You don't need no man!" ideology?

"Because my kids don't get to see their daddy that means I'm just as good as 2 parents!"
"Uh, no, it makes you dumb. And you saying that makes you twice as dumb."
 
#51 ·
Wow, that's are pretty off the wall, nasty rant.

Not all single mothers had sex with random guys and got nocked up. Not by a long shot.

One if my sisters was a single mom. She married her high school sweetheart. He started cheating on her. He beat her up and raped her one night (as she was recovering from a miscarriage earlier in the day). She got pregnant. He split.

I know some women who were single mom's because their husband's died in Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. Some why back in Vietnam too.

And then there are the women I know how married a 'good' man after college. And then after a few kids, the guy took up with another woman. These guys never looked back.

OH yea, and then there was my MIL. Her husband went to Vietnam. She had 4 kids by him. When he got back from Vietnam he took off to Germany where he hid for years and married some German woman, having kids with her. (And no he was not a bum... he's from a family that is socially/financially right up there with the Kennedys. But MIL got no help from husband or family.)

There are many reasons that woman end up single moms.... geez
 
#32 ·
Outrage merchants abound. Theirs is the stock-in-trade of click-bait and incendiary blog posts. Anything to drive traffic... So I'd question first how many self-avowed feminists actually hold these views re: Fathers Day before buying into the premise. And I'd filter out entirely those people whose mission in life is to seek out stuff to be Greatly Offended by.
 
#38 · (Edited)
I had sex with my boyfriend twice and also gave him a bj on Father's Day, plus I bought him a steak and a pair of shoes. His kids are teens and I knew they wouldn't have any money or do anything (but they did hug him and wish him happy FD).

I also texted my ex husband, my son, and my brother...wished them all a happy FD and explained why each of them have been a positive male role model in my life. I also texted my son in law, thanking him for being such a great dad to my grandkids.

My father and my step father are both deceased. So my mom and I hugged each other and offered a little prayer up to both of them from both of us.

I also texted several other guys I know who are single dads with young children, knowing they wouldn't hear it from anyone else (and they all said that was the case).

Guess us feminists just don't love dads. (Insert eye rolling emoticon)
 
#39 ·
I had sex with my boyfriend twice and also have him a bj on Father's Day, plus bought him a steak and a pair of shoes. His kids are teens and I knew they wouldn't have any money or do anything (but they did hug him and wish him happy FD).

I also texted my ex husband, my son, and my brother...wished them all a happy FD and explained why each of them have been a positive male role model in my life. I also texted my son in law, thanking him for being such a great dad to my grandkids.

My father and my step father are both deceased. So my mom and I hugged each other and offered a little prayer up to both of them from both of us.

I also texted several other guys I know who are single dad with young children, knowing they wouldn't hear it from anyone else (and they all said that was the case).

Guess us feminists just don't love dads. (Insert eye rolling emoticon)

Doesn't sound like you are a 3rd wave feminist. The current batch of feminist are nothing like you.
 
#46 ·
@Stang197 ... When you said "Doesn't sound like you are a 3rd wave feminist. The current batch of feminist are nothing like you." you did not state you were opining. You sounded like you were making a statement of fact.

So if you are now correcting yourself and claiming that your words are a statement of opinion not fact, then I fully agree you are entitled to your opinion.

My opinion is that men and women love each other and that the world is turning and people are loving as they always have for all of time and as they always will for all of the future. Love has no death. There are no enemies to love.
 
#52 ·
Why do people get so worked about about extremist views on any topic? Most of us are in the middle, it is just that the extremists are often the loudest. Any topic, politics, religion, men's rights groups, feminism, sport blah blah blah.

I'm a true feminist (as in the original sense of the word, equity for all.) I also co parent in a two house hold family, have always made sure my ex is acknowledged on FD both pre and post divorce, gifts, dinner and always a hand made card from the kids even still in their late teen, early adult years.
 
#53 ·
Why do people get so worked about about extremist views on any topic?
I think it's easier for us to gravitate towards absolutes and use them to form our arguments. We as a human race don't like to think too much. That's why most of us generally hang around with those who agree with us -- forming our self-contained echo chambers.

You have to admit though, the irony is sometimes real -- https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/2954711-Fathers-Day-Poster#prettyPhoto

Think of it, sitting in an air-conditioned office on an ipad, complaining about some poster you saw somewhere and still going on about some mysterious patriarchy -- without realizing you (not referring to you MrsHolland but the poster in the link) are in the top 1% of 1% globally. I love it.
 
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