Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
Really? Can you give me some examples?
I'm sorry you feel that way. In all honesty, sounds like your problem, not mine! If you don't like what I have to say, don't read my post's. Thats pretty simple?
Not reviewing your 330 posts, just making an observation as to what you've written.
I guess the question really as why you started this thread? Was it to tell us how o make "LOVE" to our womenfolk or explain how in tune you are to women in general???
Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
Really? Can you give me some examples?
I'm sorry you feel that way. In all honesty, sounds like your problem, not mine! If you don't like what I have to say, don't read my post's. Thats pretty simple?
You are fine RDJ. You have good things to share. Just that your verbiage is not very flattering to men
For some women sex can become just another one of the many chores that have to be completed in order to keep the household happy. In some cases, a woman may find it much simpler to just quickly take care of her and avoid the time and effort of sex completely, especially if she has a husband that is only concerned about pleasing himself.
It is my opinion that when it comes to sex, a lot of husbands are selfish. They focus too much on how their wife is going to please them, and not about the quality of the shared experience.
I already have the owner's manual, thanks. The warranty expired a long time ago and the manufacturer stopped making parts or servicing the cars. I was told I'd have make all new parts from scratch and install them myself and possibly even build the tools to make the parts as well. And when all is said and done, even with a frame-off restoration, tear down and rebuild I was told reliability was very poor, could only be driven for very short periods of time very slowly under laboratory conditions and would require something on the order of 3 hrs in the shop for every hour drive time. Operator fatality during normal operations was a non zero probability event. And I had to do it all blindfolded with an angle grinder screaming in my ears.
Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her?
I'm going to answer for my hubby.
We make love and that's what we call it. It's full of passion and it's wonderful. We take the time to snuggle up afterwards for 20-30 minutes. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Runs like Dog
I already have the owner's manual, thanks. The warranty expired a long time ago and the manufacturer stopped making parts or servicing the cars. I was told I'd have make all new parts from scratch and install them myself and possibly even build the tools to make the parts as well. And when all is said and done, even with a frame-off restoration, tear down and rebuild I was told reliability was very poor, could only be driven for very short periods of time very slowly under laboratory conditions and would require something on the order of 3 hrs in the shop for every hour drive time. Operator fatality during normal operations was a non zero probability event. And I had to do it all blindfolded with an angle grinder screaming in my ears.
Maybe it's time to consider trading the old jalopy in for a newer model?
Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Havesomethingtosay
Not reviewing your 330 posts, just making an observation as to what you've written.
I guess the question really as why you started this thread? Was it to tell us how o make "LOVE" to our womenfolk or explain how in tune you are to women in general???
With all due respect, if you desire to exchange observations, it’s my observation that this statement from a “masculine” man would infer that he may be more insecure than he wish's to admit? (is that a feminine trait?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Havesomethingtosay
I don't measure success by orgasms (more so intensity and enjoyment), but definitely it is very important to me that my spouse has one and if not, I consider the act for the most part a "failure".
Again, with all due respect, your statements and concerns about me, seem to be contradicting?
Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
It is my opinion that when it comes to sex, a lot of husbands are selfish. They focus too much on how their wife is going to please them, and not about the quality of the shared experience.
They become so focused on what they are, or are not receiving, that the whole experience starts to feel like an unpleasant obligation to their wife, and most likely, IT IS.
I think there are a lot of men and women both who are selfish lovers.
Since you put this in the Men's Clubhouse, I am assuming you are telling men to take heed - and ensure they are not being overly selfish. But they haven't cornered the market on selfishness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
A big key to keeping your married sex life fresh and alive is to learn how to be a selfless lover.
Selfless is when you focus on sharing your love and passion with your wife, without regard of what YOU are getting out of it.
And I think this is true for women as well. As a wife, it has taken me quite a bit of time to learn that the more open and giving I am to HIM, the better it is for the both of us.
As for whether it is having sex or making love - it varies for us depending on a lot of things. Sometimes it can be fast and furious, sometimes slow and sensual and everything in between. And sometimes, just sometimes - it is actually energizing to your love life to be a wee bit selfish and 'push' a bit for something that you really desire. At least it has been for me.
Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
With all due respect, if you desire to exchange observations, it’s my observation that this statement from a “masculine” man would infer that he may be more insecure than he wish's to admit? (is that a feminine trait?)
Again, with all due respect, your statements and concerns about me, seem to be contradicting?
My concerns about you is that you have posted a number of times (don't ask me for examples), trying to come across as anti-male and accusing men of being the problem when sex is not good. You like to post pretty obvious points as to how to be a good partner thinking most men are too obtuse to know better.
Yep it took a while of reading your posts to actually know you are a male, because you always take (or post) a female point of view.
This thread is a classic example.... How girly is Do you have sex or make love...... C'mon!!!!!!
Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Havesomethingtosay
My concerns about you is that you have posted a number of times (don't ask me for examples), trying to come across as anti-male and accusing men of being the problem when sex is not good. You like to post pretty obvious points as to how to be a good partner thinking most men are too obtuse to know better.
Yep it took a while of reading your posts to actually know you are a male, because you always take (or post) a female point of view.
This thread is a classic example.... How girly is Do you have sex or make love...... C'mon!!!!!!
Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
For those of us who have been married many years, sex can begin to lose the novelty and excitement. Even with all the games, toys, and role playing that a couple can incorporate, the sexual experience can start to feel too much like “we’ve been there, done that”.
First sex can become routine, then it can become boring, and then it can stop altogether. You suddenly find yourself in a “sexless marriage”.
For some women sex can become just another one of the many chores that have to be completed in order to keep the household happy. In some cases, a woman may find it much simpler to just quickly take care of her and avoid the time and effort of sex completely, especially if she has a husband that is only concerned about pleasing himself.
It is my opinion that when it comes to sex, a lot of husbands are selfish. They focus too much on how their wife is going to please them, and not about the quality of the shared experience.
Exactly what research have you done to tell you that men are selfish lovers?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
They become so focused on what they are, or are not receiving, that the whole experience starts to feel like an unpleasant obligation to their wife, and most likely, IT IS.
Again where have you witnessed it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
A big key to keeping your married sex life fresh and alive is to learn how to be a selfless lover.
Is this not a two way street, or are women the gatekeepers of sex and only on their terms?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
Selfless is when you focus on sharing your love and passion with your wife, without regard of what YOU are getting out of it.
Again a two way street is it not?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
It’s when you make love to her in place of having sex with her. It’s when you look deep into her eyes and make love to her body, mind, and soul that she will feel loved in place of sexed.
Ahhh..... My hearts aflutter....
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
When a husband shares himself in this way, sex is no longer “just sex”, it becomes an experience of “love making” that will be more enjoyable for his wife.
How about just having sex and enjoying it instead of it being a big production????
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
True loving sex is always fun, regardless of how many years you may have been together.
So the next time you find yourself having selfish sex with your wife, STOP. Stop thinking about what you want to get out of this,how she is going to repay you, and think instead about what you can give her.
Who (and it's only males in your book) exactly is having this selfish sex?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RDJ
Be selfless and give her your heart and soul. If you do this, don’t be surprised when you find your wife initiating a whole lot more “love making” in the future.
Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Havesomethingtosay
Exactly what research have you done to tell you that men are selfish lovers?
Again where have you witnessed it?
Is this not a two way street, or are women the gatekeepers of sex and only on their terms?
Again a two way street is it not?
Ahhh..... My hearts aflutter....
How about just having sex and enjoying it instead of it being a big production????
Who (and it's only males in your book) exactly is having this selfish sex?
Sure..... My wife wouldn't stop laughing.....
I will ignore this tripe at my own peril.....
give it a rest already.
you sound afraid to let a little 'feminine' come out in you?
to damn macho for that?
i know, thats just not the 'manly' thing to do.
youre boring already
Re: Do you have sex with your wife, or do you make love to her? 
