salvation2011

My husband and I used to engage in this before marriage but I tore once and havent since. After we married our overall sex decreased from pretty much every night to once a week (sometimes less). He talks about that alot, and plays "there" alot... especially since getting advice from Enchantment to be more playful and shave to clean up things down there. I asked him if we would have more sex if we did it that way again and he said "probably." So I asked why and he answered "because its tighter." Im not "loose" down there at all. I had c-sections so my 2 children didnt stretch things out, and I have always been tight and he has trouble getting in "there" sometimes... so why does he need the anal tightness? Is he a closet homosexual or is this normal? Thanks in advance

2nd_t!me iz_best

[QUOTE=salvation2011;564359
a closet homosexual [/QUOTE]

possibly.

i have done it a few times but in no way would i prefer it over regular intercourse.

seems a bit strange to me.

AFEH

You tore yet he still wants to do it? That’s incredible, quite unbelievable. There is something not right about him. It is in his mind this stuff about anal sex, that’s all it is.

I think he, in fact both of you should get yourselves off and spend time with a sex therapist or maybe for your husband a psychologist (it appears he has no empathy or compassion for you, it’s a very serious mental defect) so you can enjoy intercourse as it is designed by nature to be.

Kobo

He gave you his answer, it's tighter. I'm also guessing it's probably something he hasn't done much of so there is a newness to it. Not to mention if you actually enjoy it he probably gets a kick out of his "freak" of a wife. Now you need to let him know how this makes you feel if you don't like anal sex or are feeling insecure because he seems to prefer anal sex with you. I wouldn't make the jump to him being homosexual. I think you're setting yourself up for failure by jumping to that line of thought.

__________________
“In thy foul throat thou liest.”
― William Shakespeare, Richard III

2sick

I don't think there too many men out there that don't get off on anal!!! OMG If willing my h would want it every night! Especially if you are clean shaven dear goodness!! So I say don't worry about him having closet tendencies...Thumbs up to Enchantment (yup pun intended!!)

anotherguy

Hm.

For me, its important to have a 2 way street...as it were. I had a girlfriend in college who was really into it and would actually ask for it - which was very entertaining and fun.. MOSTLY because she really got off on it.

Now my wife.. nope. No interest there, and I consequently dont have much interest in pressing the issue. If she isnt enjoying herself - Im not enjoying myself either. So - I guess you could say that my 'preference' is whatever works for the both of us.

As I get older, it seems I focus a little less on myself... no thats not right.. I am still very interested in myself when we are having sex.. but I realize that sex is without exception, is much much better when she is into it. I guess in that sense I am like pavlovs dog.

Guess what I am saying is that if it isnt your cup of tea (or hot chocolate... sorry), than I would make sure he knows that. If he suggests thats required to have frequent sex.. than that sort of is another topic altogether.

I think the 'tight' thing is a cop-out explanation. I believe anal sex is a very complicated thing - and can be mixed up with all sorts of things like novelty, feelings/projection of dominance and submission, 'naughty' taboo, etc. Yeah, entry can be tighter, but it is also not as tight...uhm... further in. Its just different. It can be a fun item on the menu, but from what you are saying - you should be careful not to set yourself up for a routine you dont particularly want.

I know guys once they get what they like.

Yeah this is pretty vulgar (chris rock) but listen to the part about guys. kinda funny.

Chris Rock - Differences Between Men And Women - YouTube

nice777guy

Sounds more "Selfish" than "gay."

I've always kind of thought that as long as a woman was involved, its not gay.

Was the "tear" ancient history - or something recent?

Conrad

If you don't mind the question, how is he in the "girth" department?

So many people focus on length.

__________________
"Forgive or Re-Live"

-AFEH

2nd_t!me iz_best

Enchantment

I had to go back and look at the comments that I made in your other thread - being more 'playful' and 'flirty' with your H (my original comments to you) and possibly feeling compelled to do something you find distasteful or painful are two different things entirely.

I think that like anything, but especially anal sex - it needs to be a completely consensual act. You should not feel coerced by your H to participate in this if you do not want to - especially in light of the fact that it caused you problems and pain before. His lack of concern about how you feel about it is troublesome.

I think anal has probably always had either some amount of fascination or repugnance for men since the dawn of time. However, it seems like it is even more of an acceptable practice, especially for hetero men, in more recent years - perhaps it's the preponderance of internet pornography in the last couple of decades with anal featured that has changed the outlook of some men to think about it in more of a mainstream way.

Believe me, if he doesn't feel you are 'tight' enough vaginally, there are some tricks and things that you can do there. that_girl started a thread a couple of weeks ago about that, that you can search for.

Best wishes.

__________________

Enter these enchanted woods, You who dare. ~ George Meredith

nice777guy

So - you're more of a girth guy, eh?!?

Its OK - everyone's different...

2sick

Enchantment has a point, being flirty is far different than accepting pain. I haven't read of your other posts so sorry if my initial comment was too crass. Based on this post it seemed like your only concern was possible homosexual tendencies of h. If you are uncomfortable doing it then you should definitely communicate that to him.

salvation2011

Please dont find me offensive for what I am about to say, but I actually loved it. I just got too scared after I tore and I dont think I need to explain how painful it was. When my husband is playing around back there now, it is very arousing to me. he says sometimes now while he is playing there "remember how much you loved this?"

Maybe he thinks Im bored because prior to Enchantment's advice, I was just continuing on with what we had been doing, not adding new things. he has a renewed interest in sex again since I trimmed up/cleaned up down there. Perhaps I cleaned too much? Maybe he thought because I cleaned back there I was trying to hint something.

I love not talking so much about stuff in our relationship, but the longer we are together it is getting harder to guess what is really on his mind. Im certain we will figure this out, we always have had an ease. Its my mind that was wandering to the "is this normal" category simply because he was beginning to really seek it out again with a fervor. Perhaps it was just my doing since I, as I already mentioned cleaned it all! My poor husband probably is wondering what i was thinking! Thanks for putting my fears to rest

Enchantment, if you read over here on this page, a big thank you!!!

salvation2011

The tear was a long time ago, about 4 years.

salvation2011

He is average girth I guess, I actually dont have much to compare. My high school boyfriend was small. We didnt actually have sex for 3 years (we dated on and off), and then when we finally did, I asked if he was inside yet. Another boyfriend prior to my husband was 10 inches and I guess thick. It would hurt at first pretty much everytime we had intercourse, but I guess that is on the big side. My husband is closer to that than the small one, but it definitely doesnt hurt ever as I am always turned on with him (even before we are intimate), its just right actually. All I have to do is think of him or look at him, but he insists on going down there anyway. He also likes my old lady breasts as they have grown since having children, so he plays there as well.