Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
Re: The Good Wife: Part 5
Mem, you missed my point. A lot of people stay in the trough for a heck of a lot LONGER than 3 years--but the spouse is neither reflective nor willing to grow. Exactly how long does someone live in the trough (and who is to judge?).
Hm. He's a good dad, works hard, and "treats her well." How can he be treating her well if she is feeling that some of HER basic needs aren't being met? Trust me, most women will not give up sex as the first thing--it goes when resentment mounts, and of course that is dependent upon the individual. If a man won't pay attention to other signs of her unhappiness, it will escalate (this is not a planned agenda; it is just the way things unfold). To call it "withholding sex" when someone is no longer attracted to their spouse is just plain misrepresenting things.
I think the situation you mention (about women wanting to be home with young kids) is more problemmatic than it seems. Honestly, I never thought I'd want to be a stay at home mom, but the urge was overwhelming once I had a child. So I can understand why women would be unhappy--but if they are blaming their spouse b/c he "won't let them," well, I don't get that. On either end. If they are blaming him b/c he doesn't earn more--and he's doing the best he can, shame on them. If he is spending $$$ on hobbies, an expensive car and other "toys," etc., knowing she would prefer to be home, that is a different story again. Etc. Usually these situations are a lot more complex.
So, Mem, how long would you stay in the trough? Just curious.