Is this normal to man who's already married?
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Old 02-02-2012, 08:54 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Is this normal to man who's already married?

is it normal for married man to continue fantasizing about having new sexual relationship with another woman , continue watching pornography without the wife, keep dreaming of teenage and even looking for another married woman for sex. Is this normal to every man even they already married with children ?

i was wondering if this thought is bad or it happens to every man in this universe regardless of religion .
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Old 02-02-2012, 09:45 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

I am sure that all men (and women too) have temptations and fantasies.

But, being able to be strong enough to resist those temptations, especially if they are weakening yourself and your partner and relationship, and to put that energy instead into your personal growth, your partner, and your relationship shows that you are a man (or woman) of good character and high quality. Just the kind of person you want to be married to.

So, I would say that no - it is not normal, nor good, for a married man to be actively seeking out others for sex. And, if you are in this situation, you need to be willing to set and enforce your personal boundaries regarding this. Do not fall for "but every man does this - it's normal" pander.

Best wishes.
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Old 02-02-2012, 09:53 AM   #3 (permalink)
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No it's not normal.
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Old 02-02-2012, 09:54 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

As a guy, no. What you describe are not the attributes of "every man". The combination suggests they're he attributes of a man looking to cheat. Porn in itself doesn't need to be bad, fantasies aren't unusual. But neither if these are "universal". But looking for a married woman for sex is a big no-no, obviously.

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Old 02-02-2012, 10:00 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 7roninz View Post
is it normal for married man to continue fantasizing about having new sexual relationship with another woman ,
I don`t know if it`s "normal" but fantasies are fantasies as long as they don`t seek to make them reality I don`t see a problem

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continue watching pornography without the wife,
yup, normal

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..and even looking for another married woman for sex.
Nope, not normal and not good.
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Old 02-02-2012, 10:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

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Originally Posted by 7roninz View Post
is it normal for married man to continue fantasizing about having new sexual relationship with another woman , continue watching pornography without the wife, keep dreaming of teenage and even looking for another married woman for sex. Is this normal to every man even they already married with children ?

i was wondering if this thought is bad or it happens to every man in this universe regardless of religion .
No, not every man is like this at all... in fact a man who IS thinking -like you described has lost desire & passion for his wife -for whatever reason ......it is not a good thing, it is a very slippery slope where he may take his wants & turn them into reality. Attention needs called to the relationship - and fast.

My husband has never been or felt this way (as a married man with children) -even when I wasn't giving him enough sex, he swears it, and he has never given me any indication he has eyes for another. (I would have noticed & been jealous if so) .

I think any married man, if he is honest, wouldn't mind a little mental variety, they like to check out the shapes & sizes of other women when they walk past -but when the HEART, the emotional man is seeking for MORE than "just a quick look".......something very precious has been lost in the marriage.

A man should bring all of his erotic fantasies, and feelings , any way that engine is revved and want to bring it all back to his wife and lavish her and only her.

Last edited by SimplyAmorous; 02-02-2012 at 11:45 AM.
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Old 02-02-2012, 10:25 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

Your relationship needs attention asap and some open and honest communication is needed. You have every right to step up and enforce your boundaries with him, and hopefully while you are doing that you can provide him with whatever emotional safety he needs to tell you why he is searching out these other distractions and not focusing on you.
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Old 02-02-2012, 11:10 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

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No it's not normal.


my ex cheated for 14 years that i know of and even knowing this i still did not think of doing this during that time.
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Old 02-02-2012, 02:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

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is it normal for married man to continue fantasizing about having new sexual relationship with another woman , continue watching pornography without the wife, keep dreaming of teenage and even looking for another married woman for sex. Is this normal to every man even they already married with children ?

i was wondering if this thought is bad or it happens to every man in this universe regardless of religion .
Yep, I would say yes it is, just as long as you dont act on anything and keep it strictly fantasy. The teenage part has me a bit concerned....

Last edited by PaGuy; 02-02-2012 at 03:01 PM. Reason: addition
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Old 02-02-2012, 03:18 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

Yes for everything accept the seeking out the real thing part.

We don't need emotion for sex. So new visual stimuli is always going to be attractive for us.
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Old 02-02-2012, 03:23 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

As long as these fantasties stay in his head fine... but actually looking for other women for sex... NO!! That's not OK.
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Old 02-02-2012, 03:27 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

This is where I do not think people are being honest with themselves. Given the opportunity, the opportunity that so often is rare, I question how many people would succomb to it. I think it is easier said than done, especially for a married man, as the years progress and his wife becomes less and less interested, sex becomes more work for both of them. I think there is a reality here that is being ignored. All I can say is, just wait until the shoe fits and see how you behave. Don't pass judgements, don't assume you know the answer. That is my little comment, lets see what kind of firestorm erupts here.
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Old 02-02-2012, 04:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
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This is where I do not think people are being honest with themselves. Given the opportunity, the opportunity that so often is rare, I question how many people would succomb to it. I think it is easier said than done, especially for a married man, as the years progress and his wife becomes less and less interested, sex becomes more work for both of them. I think there is a reality here that is being ignored. All I can say is, just wait until the shoe fits and see how you behave. Don't pass judgements, don't assume you know the answer. That is my little comment, lets see what kind of firestorm erupts here.
I can tell you that I have had the opportunity to act on it, more than once I may add, and chose not too.. Not all men cheat.
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Old 02-02-2012, 04:08 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

Is it normal to fantasize about other women as a guy? Umm hell yes. As I have turned almost 30 I just now feel like I have some control over my raging sexual hormones.

Is it normal to watch porn? Yes this is very normal, though personally I don't find it healthy. Of the married men I know well, every single one watches porn. 75% of them recognize it's not healthy for their marriage but still do it.

Is it normal to actively look for married women? Nope! Once it goes from fantasy to reality it's dangerous.
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Old 02-02-2012, 05:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is this normal to man who's already married?

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Originally Posted by speakingforsomemen View Post
This is where I do not think people are being honest with themselves. Given the opportunity, the opportunity that so often is rare, I question how many people would succomb to it. I think it is easier said than done, especially for a married man, as the years progress and his wife becomes less and less interested, sex becomes more work for both of them. I think there is a reality here that is being ignored. All I can say is, just wait until the shoe fits and see how you behave. Don't pass judgements, don't assume you know the answer. That is my little comment, lets see what kind of firestorm erupts here.
i like your comment and of course i also took great advise from the rest of you. im just doing a small survey here so that i can find out this human behavior after marriage with steady relationship . how many of you actually married for more than 10 years and how many of you commented here has a family with kids and also without kids?

i wonder if i will comment the same like majority of you who will said no when my marriage is still in the early years.

what if a man who has a marriage of more than 15 years now , have kids already and family planning had halted ( no more desire for kids and sex with wife anymore). U see the mind never end just there and its like a hunter and never been satisfied .

the temptation and the controlling part is difficult especially when one is expose to internet, social, environment etc...
how did man or even woman able to control such desire ? thanks
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