Thanks. I haven't seen a minister for any help but we do go to church every weekend.
sometimes I am ok for months ... then these little questions that I mentioned pop into my head that I have no way to answer. Am I wierd or does this bother allot of men. How crazy is this?
Think of it this way: you beat those other men. She chose you. You win. You can laugh at them (if you wish).
See your minister if you like. Pray together with your wife for this. Don't accuse her of anything. Just say that this is something that you want to pray about together so that you
can get healed.
If your wife is any kind of Christian then she should have repented from her sins. If she is laughing about it, then she has possibly not repented. However, you are not at all able to force her into repentance. All you can do is to lead the way with your own faith. And when you lead, don't look over your shoulder to see if she is keeping up.
Stop obsessing about it. When you have a thought about your wife's sexual history, tell yourself, "I don't care". Don't fight the thoughts, because that only makes them stronger (what we resist persists). Find something positive to do and focus on that positive action. Forget trying to win the battle in your mind. Focus on actions. Keep them productive and relaxed, as much as possible. Help others in totally unrelated things. Do kind things for your wife.
IMO, you don't need medications or counseling, but if you decide to remove yourself from either of those things, discuss it with your health professional first.