I feel, immediately, that we should be copulating. That's instinctual and there's not much you can do about that.
But it sounds like he could use some techniques on how to handle himself when in your company. I'm not saying I've got it down at ALL. But I'm 'better' about it than I used to be. At least I don't get called out on it as much as I used to... lol.
Is this belying something more sinister/problematic? 'Cause if this is the major issue, if he's caring enough, it shouldn't be too hard to address.
What always used to bug me is that I would get called out & then 10 minutes later she's ogling some stud... but that doesn't count 'cause she's looking at style or some shti... like whaa?
I'm not a guy, but from what I've read on here and what my own husband has told me, I think it's a pretty common thing for guys. It's because they have so much testosterone. Personally, I just silently acknowledge that a guy is goodlooking and move on.
I don't let it get to me that my husband thinks this way. For one, he's not the only guy to do this. Secondly, he's been thinking these things long before we met. He's been thinking these things the entire time we've been together, and he's still remained faithful to me the entire time. I'm the only one he actually does have sex with, and that's the most important thing.
It's annoying when people can't look at someone else without being so obvious. I had an ex (cheater, loserface) who could slip on the slobber puddle he made on the floor, from all the panting he did staring at an attractive woman.
I mean, humans are going to look at attractive people (I glance at men and women) but to do it so obvious and stupid-like only makes an ass of the person staring, and makes their S/O embarrassed and hurt.
Tact is a good thing to have, but some people just don't give a damn. Sorry your husband is being a butt hole about it.
I believe this is fairly normal - at least the mental part.
Depending on how old he is though - and your level of discomfort - he should be able to control how long he looks, or at least not try to be so obvious about it.
If he's too obvious, its rude to both you and the person he's gawking at.
I suppose it has to do with mental conditioning. When I see an attractive woman I do not automatically undress her and think of sex. Maybe I should? I may think, nice legs or nice ass, but it's not much beyond that..
Also I think women who wonder if all men do that are passive-aggressively wishing strange men think that about them, but they can't admit it. Posted via Mobile Device
I have always wondered if men think this way. Like if they see an attractive woman, in their mind if they are having sex with her.
So... it's true?
There was a similar thread on here before and one guy described it as putting women into immediate categories: "Yes, No, Maybe."
But do you actually always think of sex and have an entire fantasy in your head about it? Or is it a fleeting thought of sex? Or is it just "Yeah I'd do her?" or "Wow, she's pretty."
Did he tell you this point blank? Or are you assuming this?
I have always wondered if men think this way. Like if they see an attractive woman, in their mind if they are having sex with her.
So... it's true?
There was a similar thread on here before and one guy described it as putting women into immediate categories: "Yes, No, Maybe."
But do you actually always think of sex and have an entire fantasy in your head about it? Or is it a fleeting thought of sex? Or is it just "Yeah I'd do her?" or "Wow, she's pretty."
my wife and most of the women I know are vocal about brad pitt.george clowning I mean clooning and many other good looking celeberities but If I were to make comments about jessica alba or anybody then I'm a pig.
He isn't a gwaker or anything. Actually I never he thought this was till he told me.
We are going through issues and sexual addiction was tossed around so I figured I would ask about this. He is 29 and always thinks about sex. I can deal with how he is when is comes to looking and fantasing as long as that's where it stays. Posted via Mobile Device
How is it that you know that he cannot look without mentally undressing a woman and wanting to have sex with her? Is he openly ogling women and then verbalizing that he wants to have sex with them to you?
If he is, then you're going to have to work through boundary setting with him. As in, while you can't control a person looking or what a person thinks, you can require that a person treats you respectfully.
It came up in conversation when were we talking. I asked him what he thought when he saw an attractive woman and he told me. He doesn't say anything at the time or even after. I just now know what he's thinking when a beauty walks by. Posted via Mobile Device
I'm 46 now, I always notice them, stopped undressing them when I was about 40, stopped having the quick sexual fantasy about 35, stopped being so obvious about it when my wife said it hurt her feelings (25).
Well it does depend on how long it's been since I've had sex, at least for me. It seems I notice more women, or at least certain features of more women when I haven't sex in a while.
For me though, I normally mentally critique the woman. That sounds like I'm an ass I know, and in reality it's probably true, but it's simply because I know I'll never have sex with her.
Example? "Man, look how tall that blonde is. Great legs. Wow she needs a sandwich, no hip curve hardly at all..." etc etc.
Also my wife laughs at me because I pick apart celebrity women too. Look I know I'm never having sex with any Hollywood actress. In reality if Angelina Jolie walked up to me and pouted those freakishly big lips and said "Take Me" hell I'd probably have a brain seizure from the two voices in my head kicking each other's asses.
But I do pick apart women, that I just see or briefly meet. I also tend to notice the very nice features of certain women as well.
I love curves. And smart ass grins. Long legs. My favorite part of a woman's body is where the hip curves in...but I digress...
I guess I'm a pig. But I'm a faithful to my wife, even though I'm constantly horny, pig.
Well it does depend on how long it's been since I've had sex, at least for me. It seems I notice more women, or at least certain features of more women when I haven't sex in a while.
That sounds about like what it is for me. As far as those fleeting moments/thoughts, I will say that they often come automatically. The best example I can give is when you are in a discussion and a not so nice thought pops into your head after someone makes a point. It was not a conscous, intentional thought, but it was still there.
I have a type, though. It's not like every woman is attractive to me. I know alot of men consider Angelina the epitome of sexiness, but she doesn't do it for me. I'm more into the softer look... say Kate Beckinsdale or January Jones. I'm not into the "exotic" type. Not a boob man, either. I'm a leg & ass man.
My favorite thing to say when there's a good-looking woman around is "I bet she has great personality."
I've also come to notice that if you're with a woman in toe, they seem to be aware of your reaction when an attractive woman is near... you know... like they want to catch you lookin'. I learned very early to wear sunglass whenever possible. Living in Cali, it's not an option, but a fashion statement... so I'm all good.
I've also come to notice that if you're with a woman in toe, they seem to be aware of your reaction when an attractive woman is near... you know... like they want to catch you lookin'. I learned very early to wear sunglass whenever possible. Living in Cali, it's not an option, but a fashion statement... so I'm all good.
My Ex used to spot them before I would - back when we were young and she had a jealous streak! She'd say "Are you gonna be alright?" It was like an alarm that a really good looking girl had just entered the area!!!
Can't paint all guys with the same brush. So much depends on the age of the guy and his personality.
Certainly not all women get that reaction from me, but when younger, more often, now when sexually neglected I find myself roaming the eyeballs more. When satisfied in a relationship, not so much.
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Related Threads
?
?
?
?
?
Talk About Marriage
4.9M posts
105.3K members
Since 2007
A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more!