I will keep this short. I have been married for over a lot of years, have lots of kids. We have had a rough, marriage. I have been through just about everything with him, but...the sex has always been good and I would do it every night if that is what he wanted. I know a lot of men are into the superficial like how big the woman is, etc. So my question is are stretch marks from pregnancies, surgery scars, and sagging small breasts a turn off? My H says no, but I have caught him in too many lies to believe him. It makes me insecure, but there is nothing I can do about it and don't feel implants or scar removal is an option, so wanted to know truth about what some of you think. thanks
I been with my wife for 19 years, married 12 of them.
We have three children.
She has stretchmarks on her hips and also a scare on her belly button from a Bellyring piercing that went bad.
Her stretch marks and scars do not bother me at all, not even in the slightest bit. Really I don't even notice them anymore.
It is part of my wife and children whom she gave birth too, we affectionately call them "war wounds" She cares about them, I don't even notice them.
I want her to wear a bikini in the summer time, she won't due to the scares. But you see I think she has a hot smoking body.
Confidence young lady that is the key.
I rather look at my wife's face anyway, it's her smile towards me that is the biggest attraction.
be happy your hubby loves you for who you are....forget about the stretch marks...he'd rather please you and feel your soul then anything else in this world.
So my question is are stretch marks from pregnancies, surgery scars, and sagging small breasts a turn off? My H says no, but I have caught him in too many lies to believe him. It makes me insecure, but there is nothing I can do about it and don't feel implants or scar removal is an option, so wanted to know truth about what some of you think. thanks
For me enthusiasm is the most erotic thing. You sound like you have buckets of it
Some questions:
How often do you have sex now?
Who initiates?
How old is he?
Does he masturbate?
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Re: men, have body questions
While men are visual and many times are caught looking at eye candy it does not mean he does not desire you or view you as sexy. We all age, we all get a little flabbier, things don’t stay the same for any of us physically. Just because you’ve aged and carry some of the badges of pregnancy doesn’t make you any less beautiful in the eyes of a man that loves you.
My wife had 3 c-sections and had to have an open gall bladder removal surgery.
So she has about a 10-12 inch scar from jus under her right breast all the way just past her sternum along with her lower belly c-section scar.
Her stomach is also very full of stretch marks from our first son (he was BIG).
They all bother her, but to be 100% honest they don't bother me at all. How in the WORLD could I let them bother me when they were the reason for my 3 beautiful boys. Even the gall bladder was brought on from the last child (her gall bladder started shooting out stones while she was pregnant).
So no, assuming your husband loves you and your kids, he's not lying, I look at them as "battle scars" also, she went into "battle" for our family and came out with those. I actually will gently rub them at times to let her know they don't bother me at all.
Just like the poster above, she has a smoking body but won't wear a bikini due to her gall bladder scar. She would wear one if she just had the c-section since they were 'bikini cuts', but the gall bladder one she is really self conscience about.
Wow, we (women) don't give you guys enough credit. I can say those things really, really bother us. It is really sweet and comforting you think nothing of it. I believe it is in China or Japan where a woman is more attractive society wise the more stretch marks she has....weird huh???
confidence is so sexy.......it is more of an attitude.
I agree, my wife has had so many surgeries but really I don't notice. She turns me on more than anyone else. If he loves you and is attracted to you don't over anilyse(sp) it.
Location: Temporary Resident of Earth Lord Only Knows Where Next
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Re: men, have body questions
Quote:
Originally Posted by onlylonelyone
Wow, we (women) don't give you guys enough credit. I can say those things really, really bother us. It is really sweet and comforting you think nothing of it.
Men (in general) have their own insecurities about weight, looks and endowments. It’s a two way street in a relationship. We can be just as fragile as anyone.
Wow I would be screwed in CHINA. But seriously EVERYONE man and women have problems with something on there body. I am sure you are perfect to him! if he didnt want you he wouldnt be with you right!
Just remember that everyone has issues. and we are more critical on ourselves then anyone is.
My wife has had one C-section, and one natural birth. I will say that neither bother me one bit. Those things she went through for us to have our children make her MORE endearing and attractive to me. What I don't like is that she isn't comfortable with herself. Self confidence is what most men like and are attracted too.
To answer the questions:
We have sex every night when we are getting along
We both initiate, but I think I do more
He is 40
and I don't know if he masterbates I don't think so, but I don't know absolutely.
I guess a lot of my insecurities come from our past. I've been through finding porn on computer, porn magazines, I've almost gotten divorced because of it. It is a sick, sinful addiction and has no place in a healthy marriage. I have a block on the computer for the porn and like sites, then he starts to look at breast augmentation sites and that made me feel just as bad. Then to play it off he says a wife of his friend had it done and then told me the cost. So I'm thinking Is he serious, or was he just looking to look. When i ask him now, he says he wouldn't want me to get surgery, but like I said he is a compulsive liar and I don't believe him, otherwise why would he look it up? he is a very selfish man, he has all kinds of entertainment toys whether trucks, cars, boat, 4wheelers, snowmobiles, old cars, expensive tools, etc. these aren't bad in themselves, but when they are on high interest credit cards and all the payments for his things eat up everything and the kids lack the things they need, not to mention food (they aren't starving, but there is never enough for everything we need), it is very frustrating. anyway, that is some of the background, I would appreciate anymore feedback thanks
I look at porn on the PC and home TV, Matter of fact my wife got me a 5 year Subscription to playboy for christmas, this has not affected our marriage one slightest bit, The women in the magaize are models and airbrushed. The women in the porn are professionals and people forget that these movies are cut and edited. You just can't compare yourself to them.
My favorite site is free project voyuer (sp?) why? because it is average couples posting pics of there wives on there, you get a real look at NORMAL people, the best part opeople will often give positive commets on the forums of the women,
My wife has thought of a breast lift, she is 38 and her breasts are 34C, they look fantastic, and she was thinking of getting a "mommy makeover" where they lift the breasts and tummy tuck. I am against it right now, becuase I think she can lose her stomach with diet and exercise and her breasts are perfect as they are. Men can't believe they are natural. but if she wants later in life she can, it's her decision.
Now sounds like you have bigger issues at hand...sounds like some serious financial crissi or jealous of the toys your husband has and the lack of toys for yourself. unless you just stress out about money issues?
Sounds like you have a great sex life, but something is bothering you? would you want a "mommy makeover" ?
Not sure but sounds like you ahve some resentment about your husband spending habits, what would you like him to do?
I have a good friend that is wealthy and has all kinds of toys, then another friend who wants to be like him, so he buys the same toys, yet he is not wealthy, so he is in big time debt and has 4 kids....future will get ugly.
Sometimes guys are to competitive with their friends and that can spell disaster if they can hold back and only spend in their limits.
Ya know, a lot of our problems are money issues, although I'm not jealous of the toys, just stressed. There are so many needs our family has, but he always comes before anyone else. I can understand if it were just him and I. However, it's not and the way he is affects all of us. It's hard to explain without going into a lot of detail, because I don't want anyone to know I am on here.
I do appreciate your feedback G. Before I decided to actually talk on here, I read a lot of what different people had to say and it seemed to help just to read other stories. However, I don't agree with you about porn. There are many reasons behind it. The main one being, it is sin and the Bible speaks against it. Even if someone isn't concerned about what the Bible says, there are other things. If you look at statistics of child molesting, rape, etc. the majority of the time porn is involved. What goes into the mind, eventually comes out.
Also, the times that my H has been involved with it, he didn't need me(sexually) and would reject me. Also,his attitude was one of bitter and hate. I couldn't say anything to him that he didn't jump down my throat. It does make a difference in behavior and it does affect womens lives in more ways than one. Not to mention the women who are acting and posing. It is degrading to all women.
Anyway, yes we have lots of issues, but hopefully they will work out.
thanks for input and feedback anyone
Location: Temporary Resident of Earth Lord Only Knows Where Next
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Re: men, have body questions
AMP'S RANT
I will get up on my soap box again and point out that we have seen many come here hurt because of a spouse’s use of porn. I used porn briefly as a “release” a couple of years ago and it definitely hurt my marriage. There where other issues also but the porn had an impact. For those of you out there who are engaged in using pornography, think about what it could have on your spouse’s feelings. If they have self confidence issues about their looks, weight or sexual abilities, finding out will exacerbate them. It could leave them feeling unloved and undesired. Especially if the porn has replaced much of the couples’ sexual intimacy. Your spouse may also wonder what you are bringing to the bed with you when you are making love. Who or what you may have seen on line that you are thinking about when you make love to them. Put yourself in their place and how you’d feel if they did the same to you. I don’t know if I can classify the use of porn as “cheating” but it can definitely hurt your spouse and that is wrong in any form. If both spouses are OK with it or share it together, that’s fine. Consenting adults and all and I have no problem with that from a marriage standpoint. But I do have a problem with it from a moral and social standpoint. I am not a prude or holy-roller by any stretch but I do believe that making love is supposed to be between two loving people in a committed relationship. Not something to be filmed for the almighty dollar and the entertainment of others. Porn hurts lots of people. The young man or woman at a college party that gets drunk and does something stupid while some perv videos it and sells it online for a hundred bucks. It will no doubt be an act they will regret for the rest of their lives. The porn industry uses people then tosses them aside like a used condom when they have served their purposes. There are very few Jenna Jamison stories of wealth and celebrity status. Not to mention the many who leave the “business” diseased, addicted and broken. It pollutes the minds of our young people and desensitizes them to what making love is all about. It sets unobtainable expectations for them in choosing a mate and partner. It exposes them to acts of violence, incest and rape and presents it as “normal” with selections like menu items at a diner. Point and click for your selected debauchery. It is a pollutant in our moral fiber and it is available 24X7 on virtually every device connected to the Internet. Some on this forum disagree with me that it isn’t just a trivial “release” for someone to engage in. That’s fine, we are all entitled to our opinions, but have seen many on this forum who have suffered from it. Lost their marriage, their love, their money, their trust, their self esteem, their job… OK, I’m done.
men, have body questions 
