Worried my wife is cheating

This is me · 02-28-2012, 04:54 PM

My guess not good. Drinking at 11 am and getting some bad advice was a recipe for a train wreck.

seeking sanity · 02-28-2012, 05:37 PM

I'm at the point where I read the first page of a big thread like this and when it say's "I'm worried my wife is .... but she's not that type", I then skip to the last page, and it is always in the middle of a huge infidelity crisis. It's all so predictable and depressing and full of angst around action.

The correct course of action when she is lying, hiding, justifying or trying to make YOU feel like the crazy one, is to simply offer her two choices: Stay married and end the friendship, relinquish the passwords, etc; OR to move out. Everything in between just prolongs the misery and damages your soul.

TRy · 03-03-2012, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by williamjohnson

Even though it felt absolutely awful to leave them alone and go to bed by myself, I also saw it as a chance for her to recognize how uncomfortable I felt and to do something about it (she failed that test).

She knows how I feel and the ball is in her court. Is this weak of me? Should I be more of a "man" and tell her what to do and also give this guy a piece of my mind?

Your wife must have know that you were uncomfortable with the situation yet took no action to give you comfort. When you went to bed she should have ended the night and gone with you. Instead it appears that both of them made you feel uncomfortable and wanted you to leave so that they could be alone. There were three people in the room that night. Two of them were a couple and one was made to feel like the odd man out. Guess which person you were? Your wife has already crossed a line in her relationship with the OM. She should never allow you to feel like the odd man out with another man. Yes she did fail the test.

You should calmly tell her that you have decided to take her up on her offer to break it off with the OM. Tell her that you want her to immediately end all contact with the OM. Tell her that you tried to give it a chance but that you do not trust the OM's true intent and are disappointed that she did not care enough about your feeling to end the night when you went to bed. Tell her wrong or right, that as her husband your feelings should have mattered more to her then being with the OM.

When she says that you are controlling, tell her that as her spouse controlling a partner from being alone with a person of the opposite sex that you sense has bad intentions is part of the deal of being married. Tell her that you used the words spouse and partner because it goes both ways and applies to you. When she says that you are wrong that they are just friends. Tell her that you sense otherwise and that she needs to trust your gut feelings on this. Tell her that you have so rarely ever taken a stand like this with her and that she needs to respect your feelings on this.

I fear that her response and next course of action will only confirm just how right you were in not trusting the situation. Be prepared to stand strong and not back down.

bandit.45 · 03-03-2012, 01:18 PM

I think Billy got his a*s handed to him. He is homeless and computerless.

Jilted-canadian · 03-10-2012, 09:08 AM

WOW! I wish I new about this forum 2 yrs ago!

Its probably too late for me now...

23 years- out the window....