I don't think mutual masturbation is a good idea. It's all IMO but I don't think its healthy for your relationship (obviously since you're uncomfortable). Seems like he's having an intimate sexual relationship with his friend. You might want to post on the Sex in Marriage forum. Maybe someone can explain the activity to you. I have no clue why this would be a turn on.
I get it, I just don"t get how he expects me to believe that this was all a joke, and "normal" sharing between two men. Part of me wants to find a down low forum, and post my questions there, because thats where I think he is. Of course he keeps telling me I am crazy, dont understand, etc., but when I ask questions about this guy, the porn, the websites, he lies. I cant see how staying in this relationship is worth it if he is saying that we will have no more "episodes" like this in our marriage, when he cant even be honest and tell me what exactly this "episode" was and alll the other stuff involved in this "episode". Wanted to hear a mans point of view, and thanks for the comments.
I get it, I just don"t get how he expects me to believe that this was all a joke, and "normal" sharing between two men. Part of me wants to find a down low forum, and post my questions there, because thats where I think he is. Of course he keeps telling me I am crazy, dont understand, etc., but when I ask questions about this guy, the porn, the websites, he lies. I cant see how staying in this relationship is worth it if he is saying that we will have no more "episodes" like this in our marriage, when he cant even be honest and tell me what exactly this "episode" was and alll the other stuff involved in this "episode". Wanted to hear a mans point of view, and thanks for the comments.
Sorry to be obvious here - but he's lying because he was caught doing something "wrong" and he's too embarrassed and chicken to own up to it.
There are a lot of guys here who use porn - some admit it - some were caught - but I don't think I've seen a situation quite like this before.
Thanks nice777, I know, but him not totally owning up to it leads me to believe that there is more to all of this and not to mention how much he minimizes the whole situation. Nice way to find out, unfotunately, and great note to end a 15 year marriage on. Posted via Mobile Device
Men don't tend to be open about sexual specifics with each other the way women are. I've noticed over the years that women will be very honest and even graphic to each other about these matters. It's very odd for two men to be this way.
Thanks nice777, I know, but him not totally owning up to it leads me to believe that there is more to all of this and not to mention how much he minimizes the whole situation. Nice way to find out, unfotunately, and great note to end a 15 year marriage on. Posted via Mobile Device
Yes - that makes sense.
Are you actually going to end the marriage or give him another chance (under a close, watchful eye)?
And - sorry. Sad news is that people really can change in some strange ways over a long number of years.
Question for the men: Is it normal for a men to share sexual fantasies with each other when they involve others that are not their wives? And is it normal is it for two men to sit around and talk about how they would "do" another women and share intimate details of "doing her" and getting aroused after the other one was done "doing her." My h shared a very intimate, personal relationship with another man, and I am just trying to make sense of this, since this he says that this is something that all men do and I will never understand.
No, this is not a thing guys typically do in my experience.
What about these two and porn? I know I am probably asking very stupid questions, but is it normal for 2 guys to share porn between them and also watch it together? Of course this was unknown to me at the time, and when my h got caught, tried to lie his way out of it. These are 2 grown men, married men. Posted via Mobile Device
Nope, that isn`t common either.
I`ve watched porn with women but I haven`t nor would watch porn with a man.
Don't guys watch porn together at stag parties? Or have I been misinformed? What are guys doing at strip clubs?
Most bachelor parties I`ve been to any porn present was just background noise for the party.
Strip clubs aren`t really intimately sexual it`s just naked women dancing it`s not "porn" per se.
What most guys are doing in strip clubs is drinking,watching, and declining requests for dances from an endless revolving que of scantily clad women.
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I think your hubby is embarrassed about being caught and his knee jerk reaction is to lie and cover it up. And yeah, there might be more too.
This happened a lot at his job, where he goes to everyday, and I can't drive myself crazy wondering what he is up to all day. That and the fact that he still lies about this stuff. We've been throguh couselors, and this last one he lied to again. We went to counseling to try and talk about this, but he got very upset when him, porn, emails,this guy, and websites came into one sentence. Literally walked out. I feel like he is making his choice by keeping/choosing this man/stuff before me and our kids. He just wants me to forget it and move on, and swears no more 'episodes'. Episodes? Lol. Posted via Mobile Device
And no, nice777, I think I missed a lot before we were married, I think when things like this happen, you look at the big picture, snd I think he was like this before we married. He has other questionable relationships with men, one other that i know for sure, and 2 more questionables. Of course, one was a gay guy, but my h swears now, this guy wasn't gay and people from 20 years ago have told me to this day, this guy was gay. My h didn't know though. Another lie. Posted via Mobile Device
And no, nice777, I think I missed a lot before we were married, I think when things like this happen, you look at the big picture, snd I think he was like this before we married. He has other questionable relationships with men, one other that i know for sure, and 2 more questionables. Of course, one was a gay guy, but my h swears now, this guy wasn't gay and people from 20 years ago have told me to this day, this guy was gay. My h didn't know though. Another lie.Posted via Mobile Device
And there it is. You know how you can look back on instances of your life like a movie and realize the truth? Like the end of the Usual Suspects or an M.Night movie.
Thing you missed along the way come flooding back and you have that moment of..ahaaa!
That is your moment. I'm sorry. At the very least he is bi. No straight dude wants any part of knowing about another straight dude being aroused...even at strip clubs.
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Re: Question for the men 
