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Old 03-11-2012, 10:45 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Question for the men: Is it normal for a men to share sexual fantasies with each other when they involve others that are not their wives? And is it normal is it for two men to sit around and talk about how they would "do" another women and share intimate details of "doing her" and getting aroused after the other one was done "doing her." My h shared a very intimate, personal relationship with another man, and I am just trying to make sense of this, since this he says that this is something that all men do and I will never understand.
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Old 03-12-2012, 12:07 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I got nothin. This sounds a little creepy to me. Like Brokeback Mountain creepy.
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Old 03-12-2012, 12:59 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Nope, not normal. It seems kind of odd to me too.
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Old 03-12-2012, 03:34 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Yea, this is no joke, but it seems like this other man knew more than I did about h in bed. I know how guys can be guys, but this I think crosses some lines, even though my h said he knew it was wrong, but it was funny and normal to do. Funny, like in a joke, however when they talked about this, there were no punch lines...just sharing with each other.
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Old 03-12-2012, 03:40 AM   #5 (permalink)
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What about these two and porn? I know I am probably asking very stupid questions, but is it normal for 2 guys to share porn between them and also watch it together? Of course this was unknown to me at the time, and when my h got caught, tried to lie his way out of it. These are 2 grown men, married men.
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Old 03-12-2012, 07:09 AM   #6 (permalink)
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How did you discover this?

And yes, unless they're gay, it's weird.
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Old 03-12-2012, 07:39 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I think it is perfectly normal for two good friends (male) to talk about women (other than their wives) and what they would like to do to them etc.
And if they both sit there with erections under their pants, so what?

If they were both to 'whip it out' and start jacking themselves (or each other!!) off then I think that would probably be over the top!

When men talk about sex we are a bit animalistic about it....down to earth...graphic!...Whereas a woman might say 'he ran me a bath, lit some candles, handed me a glass of Sauvignon blanc and started to gently caress between my legs'...!!

However, when it comes to talking to their 'mates' about their marital sex life, I think we are far more reserved....because its more intimate...is love making as against raw sex.
I think the most it would be was; 'Hey! Did you get laid last night?'...'Yup'....'How was it?'....'Great'. And thats it. But had he been laid by someone other than his wife, he would be far more graphic!

Thats my take on it anyway!
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:01 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I don't think saying "I'd f*%$ the s*&% out of Faith Hill" as sharing sexual fantasies. If they're sitting around saying "Our eyes met as she walked to the dressing room. I had just removed my shirt as I was sweaty from working on the HVAC making the light bounce off on my ripped pecs..." then its kind of weird.
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:16 AM   #9 (permalink)
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WOW!! Corrrrr......Look at the t!ts on her! What I'd give to f**K those!!
Is perfectly normal.

A woman would say 'Gosh....hasn't HE got a lovely pert bum!'....
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:55 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Ok, well, I found out via computer and emails. And like I said, he tried to lie his way out of it from the beginning, even when I confronted him with evidence. This behavior was going on for a long time, and I didn't read all the emails, but the ones I did read talked not about them doing things to each other, it was more of doing things together...like telling the other man that 'it would take seconds to *um after (the other man), or my h would say, 'put your hand in your lap' and tell me how it feels.'. They would be looking at porn/pics. I appreciate the graphic comment, but I guess when does that cross the line?
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Oh yea,NAND webcam sites they visited together, again with my evidence, showing him, he still denies. And viewing them with the other man. What it is about webcam sites that men don't want to own up to?
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:16 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I think you need more information. If I was into Web Cam Sites, I could see myself calling a buddy that was also into it and saying, "Hey, check out this site, look what she is doing with ________!"

I could see myself maybe texting back and forth jokingly about doing something to some woman. Not sure about the discussion about doing things together with some woman. I guess three-somes happen between two guys and a girl without either of the guys being gay.
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:17 AM   #13 (permalink)
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OK, I didn't understand your statement at first. Telling each other "oh she's hot" or "I'd do her" kind of stuff is fairly "normal". Intimate details, I have to admit, is a little odd...
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:43 AM   #14 (permalink)
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That's all the info I have, he says it's a joke, lies about it, won't give me details(like he did with this other man) and vows that we won't have any more of thee 'episodes' as he called them, ever again in our marriage. What kind of 'episodes' are these? He tells me I'll never understand, so trying to understand.
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:45 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Oh, and sex between us, always has been good, this was I guess an extra for him.
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