I posted this in the general discussion thread as well; I'm new, so if that's a major faux pas, I'm sorry. As I was looking around the site more, this seemed like an appropriate place to post this problem. I'd like some mens opinions on this.
I let my husband take naked pictures/videos of me with his cell phone several weeks ago. It's something we've done often, not a big deal at all. However, I found out the night before last that he sent one picture and one video to a "friend" (someone he's never met, he's known him over an internet truck forum for about 2 years). I might not even be so angry if that video hadn't shown my face, but it did.
Is there a valid perspective other than "He's a jerk with no moral character?" I would really love an alternate reality right now; one in which he was just a good guy who made a mistake. Is that possible? My reality sucks.
I posted this in the general discussion thread as well; I'm new, so if that's a major faux pas, I'm sorry. As I was looking around the site more, this seemed like an appropriate place to post this problem. I'd like some mens opinions on this.
I let my husband take naked pictures/videos of me with his cell phone several weeks ago. It's something we've done often, not a big deal at all. However, I found out the night before last that he sent one picture and one video to a "friend" (someone he's never met, he's known him over an internet truck forum for about 2 years). I might not even be so angry if that video hadn't shown my face, but it did.
Is there a valid perspective other than "He's a jerk with no moral character?" I would really love an alternate reality right now; one in which he was just a good guy who made a mistake. Is that possible? My reality sucks.
What you described happens all the time, which is one of the reasons I've never let a guy have a picture of me that I couldn't bare other people to see.
But this isn't some loser bf showing his mates nudey pix of his girlfriend this is your husband and I really find that shocking. He has betrayed your trust, in a major way.
WHat he did was wrong, not only because he did it without your permission but this type of stuff ends up on the internet and they have sites just for that type of thing. Further now his friend has to be put in the loop of being trusted that he will not do such a thing either.
As to what you do about the picture now. If you want to control what happens to it, then YOU need to speak to the friend directly. Hopefully he'll do the decent thing. I know it might be embarressing but I know from past experience it can shock guys into doing the right thing.
Once you're certain that the only people with access to the pics were your husband and his friend you might have some piece of mind.
I'm still lost for words as to how you should deal with your husband.
I travel a lot for work and my wife and I have sent each other some risky pictures via our cell phones while I was out of town.
There is NO WAY I would ever share those with someone else, and matter of fact they typically get deleted the same day they are sent so that no one who happens to pick up my phone (kids, parents, etc) would find them.
Its just a cute thing we do back and forth when I'm out of town.
What your husband did is just plain wrong and he needs to know exactly how you feel about it.
Wrong as it was, and no doubt it is worrisome... and you have lots of points of view that say "idiot" "jerk" "what was he thinking"... however, another point of view, that may apply, is 1) he's proud of himself for catching you 2) he's bragging how hot his wife is, 3) his self image gets a boost showing you off.
my 2 cents.
(doesn't make it O.K. just makes him a little less of a villan)
Jen, this is very troubling, but as one writer stated very common. I like what “Optimist” wrote and tend to agree with this line of thinking. Although your husband's behavior was unacceptable I too believe that his actions stem out of pride and gratitude, this is not the action of a depraved villain, but an immature man who lacks judgment. I highly recommend getting a hold of his phone and computer and deleting every picture and video you do not want to ever be seen by anyone but him or you. Second, don't allow him to take these types of pictures of you again. He has the real thing and doesn't need a copy. Thirdly, evaluate his actions and yours and think through what might be missing in your relationship that this type of behavior was even necessary. I am not judging you, as my wife and I did similar things a very long time ago, but have discovered greater intimacies since those days and our love is expressed just as much outside the bedroom as in it, by far more expressions of love than sex and risky behavior. Take care dear Jen. Wishing your husband and you much success!
Not cheating, but morally and ethically wrong. I do have photos of my wife, and even right now, as angry with her for the affair as I am, I would never post them, nor share them with anyone...they were for us, and no one else.
iF HE CAN'T SEE WHAT HE HAS DONE IS WRONG, BRING HIM HERE AND EVERYONE HERE WILL SET HIM STRIGHT!!
GOOD LUCK
but thats the trouble - everything gets sent on these days. so if you dont want it to get forwarded its your partner you should be angry at.
he was supposed the one you trusted in the first place with the photo.
dont do these things , if you dont realise the risks.
most things are a risk these days.
4Likes
Men and naked pics 
, There could be no rational explanation for his actions ....
