Even if we assume the guy is a total freakin idiot controlling jerk the situation the wife is in is still not good. So she is ok to go out of her way and behave badly just to rebell?
But if we can assume he is this then we can then assume his wife has been unfaitful their whole marriage. Nothing indocates this.
He wants his wife to give up her male personal trainer.
he never should have been ok with this to beigin with.
Can we also assume he was very Beta to begin with and then wised up too late?
I wasn't okay from the begining.He was randomly given to her when she signed up but she kept going despite my objections. saying it something that is good for her and that she enjoys
You are paying personal trainers and they usually hit on your wife? I would confront that guy.
This is less about trusting a wife and more about valuing her as a partner and not trustung the situation.
These guys get plenty of positive feedback. They are very young and yet in a position of power. They really are not all that accountable to anyone. Pretty much the husband will never know his wife is being hit on.
Yeah, it's not an ongoing thing. Just trainers she's had in the past who were male. She told me what went on and usually didn't go on using that guy, which resulted in offense to one in particular. What was strange was that he wasn't upset about the lost fees, but the fact that she turned him down. I guess the main perk for some of these guys is the women and not the money. I have a feeling these guys succeed pretty often, or at least often enough to keep at it. My reaction today is more about realizing what you're saying is true, but those times when this was going on it never occurred to me to tell my wife not to see him. I had more trust then I suppose. But yes, it is also about knowing that the situation is bad (and the conduct of these guys and what they had her doing) rather than being a complete lack of trust in her.
A better comparison would be a husband seeing an attractive massage therapist. Or a wife for that matter. And in that case I think it's the same situation, if the other spouse thinks it's a problem then it's a problem.
Actually just reading this post reminded me of an experience I had almost two years ago when I was married and we were having issues (not many sexual needs being met)... my W and I were both seeing an osteopath here for separate issues, she is attractive and young and also talented and passionate about her field of study. She is the only Osteopath in my city, and I found the therapy beneficial, however I found the touch was becoming too "intimate" for me and I stopped going to therapy with her (I have never told anyone the reason I stopped before). It is dawning on me now that even though it was something that felt good (both during and after) I recognized it was potentially a threat to my own integrity, and thus my relationship with my W. (even though this Osteo was being completely professional)
To clarify somethings over the last year while she was training I gave her lots a crap about it and made her feel like crap! Telling me I don't listen to her & disrespect what she says. He quit the gym and she stop training with him and started going with me, then he text her and said I working at another place and she told him that she was interested then got mad at me and started again just to hurt me. And we have fought to no end
If my wife did anything "just to hurt me", we would be done.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
I wasn't okay from the begining.He was randomly given to her when she signed up but she kept going despite my objections. saying it something that is good for her and that she enjoys
I would have made my stand there. This is a symptom of bigger issues is what I am saying.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Entrophy,
What is your point? Both are professionals. Is level of education more important to you? So say a lawyer or a janitor going to be viewed differently by you?
Doctors have assistants. Personal Trainers are not doctors.
Do doctors have a history of sleeping with their patients to the extent that personal trainers do?
Oh, heck yeah.
And it's far worse because doctors often are in a position of authority (perceived, at least) and can take advantage of people when they're most vulnerable.
A study of psychiatrists, for example, found that between 5 and 10 percent had sexual relations with patients. And that's based on self-reporting. And, unlike trainers, there are clear guidelines against that sort of thing.
I am curious, though, other than the occasional anecdote, what's the basis of your assertion that there's some kind of epidemic of trainers sleeping with clients? Posted via Mobile Device
I wasn't okay from the begining.He was randomly given to her when she signed up but she kept going despite my objections. saying it something that is good for her and that she enjoys
Joey you have done nothing wrong. Your feelings about this man and your wife are valid. This boils down to respect. You ave voiced your concerns and feelings to your wife and she has essentially spit in your face. Time to take a stand. Tell her if she continues to show you a lack of respect then it is over between you and you will be seeing a lawyer to discuss your options. Posted via Mobile Device
They probably do succeed often enough. The thing is that even if the woman does not end up in bed with the guy her enjoying him hitting on her is disrespectful at the least and belittling to her husband. Many ladies will "put up" with this because they like the attention.
Hey E, I know you like to show everybody how smart you are by tread-jacking, but we have a lost soul here in need of help. Think you can put your windmill-tilting on old and get back to the discussion at hand? Posted via Mobile Device
Entrophy,
What is your point? Both are professionals. Is level of education more important to you as far as scaming your wife? So say a lawyer or a janitor going to be viewed differently by you?
Life is shades of gray. They are not the same level of professional.
You honestly equate all people who get paid to provide a service as on the same level with one another? They are all professionals.
There are all sorts of levels to personal trainers. Most of them take a two week class and they are a professional.
Yours may or may not have his CSCS.
Does he? They are few and far between.
To equate a personal trainer at one of these family type gyms is absolutley ludicrous and works against the credibility of what you are saying.
The gym is not your doctors office. A doctor can be sued for malpractice. A doctor seducing thier clients risks a lot. A personal trainer gets a slap on the back. Get serious.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 03-30-2012 at 10:43 AM.
The dude was gone and just came back. I have replied to him.
Besides I'm a professional.
No, you steamrolled right over the top of him and continued on with your debate agenda. As for being a professional? I don't care if you are Sigmund Freud. Let's get back to Joey. Posted via Mobile Device
Doctors have more at risk. PTs have virtually no accountability.
The same thing you base your opinions on Frank. But if you really believe PTs do not sleep with thier clients more than Doctors then fine. he hubby should drop the 28 year old hottie. Thank you for opening my eyes towards doctors. It does not change my opinion of the avergae PT.
So, in other words, there is no basis for your assertions.
Got it.
People do all sorts of dumb things despite having a lot to lose by doing them. They cheat. They jump out of airplanes. They drive drunk. They do heroin.
You're going to have to come up with better than that. Posted via Mobile Device
Jay and Beowulf,
Would I give up my trainer if my husband had an issue with him? Not sure. If my husband could show me proof of some wrongdoing then yes. If it was nothing more than jeolousness, no. I didn't ask him to give up his good looking doctor for me. She saved his life and my trainer is helping me get healthy. I can't imagine if I had asked him to give up a top doctor because I was insecure. Why should he be okay with asking me to give up a top trainer and my health? He has no issue with it at all. He has met the trainer and likes him.
You don't need a trainer. Meaning, you can read up and do it yourself. Or ask friends for help. Or workout with friends/family.
So, in other words, there is no basis for your assertions.
Got it.
People do all sorts of dumb things despite having a lot to lose by doing them. They cheat. They jump out of airplanes. They drive drunk. They do heroin.
You're going to have to come up with better than that. Posted via Mobile Device
Frank, my mind does not work like wikipedia so I can't simply recall all my sources at will, however IIRC there have been multiple threads on this site over the past year where there has been infidelity involving personal trainers. For those of us who devoted a lot of time understanding why affairs happened we realize that so many of the factors are at play in an opposite sex trainer-trainee relationsip. Also the niceguy losing his W to the fitness instructor it is a very common cliche for a reason. I could spend a bunch of time googling articles to prove a point, but in my mind it has already been shown that it is a higher than average risk for infidelity and I am just accepting it as is... I think many on this thread also just accept it too, you could spend a bunch of time trying to prove us wrong but it won't change the course of this topic.
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Re: my wifes trainer 
