Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Not saying he will cheat, just that he may be caught looking at a pretty girl, or masturbating to donkey porn while wearing her heels and lipstick and listening to Justin Bieber.... you can only forgive so much.
Men are men and we all act accordingly, there are always times in a man's life when he will act like a schoolboy again, just for the hell of it.
If we are perceived as faultless then when we do get caught in some form of fault is is worse than if we are known to have faults.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by Mephisto
If we are perceived as faultless then when we do get caught in some form of fault is is worse than if we are known to have faults.
I personally think like this...about everyone, about myself , and it helps me still love people and appreciate them for what they do bring to the relationship. We all have some weaknesses somewhere.
I guess the question is .....What if your husband was like all of the other guys...you find out later down the road he slips sometimes (I am just talking mentally & says something out of character).... Would you love him the same, or would you be offended , dissapointed and feeling less loved ?
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by zaliblue
Whatever guys! Really! lol....you can think what you want....but....Guess who got laid tonight? Yeh, my husband....and guess why? Because in my mind, he is the exception...and not to mention he's freaking awesome....but if criticizing my relationship and how i feel about my husband makes you happy, go ahead....if I am wrong....well, I guess that's okay too...
So your husband doesn't get laid if he's not the "exception"? Interesting dynamic you got going on there.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by Mephisto
SA, you and me, we come from the same school of thought, on SOOOOO many things.
Yes, I remember getting slaughtered by the women posters on that "oogling thread" over a year ago...we seemed to hold the same views then. I do feel I have gained a mountain of understanding on the male psyche.....couldn't say I knew these things in my younger yrs.... I was naive ....but I've since studied....and studied hard .... because of my worry over my husband lower Test levels... He is very TAME compared to most men...and with him being like this... I just know others are even worse...it really has nothing to do with me .....
The whole subject intregues me.....
We have 5 sons, I am surrounded by men, It is important I understand them, and not paint them as bad. I've read alot about hormones & how they influence our minds...I've experienced it myself .
I know how my own husband is...so of course I believe there are wonderful devoted faithful men who might not get carried away speaking like a DOG going along with all the guys in a very dirty fashion....mine comes home & tells me how dirty/ fowl /sick one of the guys at work is , telling me..."You don't even want to know!"... I think all men have some "level" they engage in with other men....Depending on their morals and how comfortable they are with those guys.
I wouldn't even say it is impossible to NOT engage (I know my older wanna be Youth Pastor son doesn't do it...he feels that is wrong & disrespectful & would frown on such behavior - he is not a hypocrite).....But does he have the thoughts ...Oh yeah ! He understands why those guys talk like that - he "gets them"... and he thinks like that too....he just takes more guilt for it when he lets his mind go there.....
My husband is still a male..mentally he enjoys a look. If this ever ends.. I will find it a very very sad day even, cause I will know he needs Treatment.
I guess some would say I am fool for wanting to know these things...but that is Ok, I've been called worse. If he is not bothered and I am not bothered, then for us... it just works.
Other people make me feel bad... with their judgements... never my husband. I wouldn't even want perfection. Those types wouldn't care for me either.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by zaliblue
It's like, my husband is an exception to men, he only has eyes for me....yet his friends can't stand it. Why?
No, he's not an exception. It's a myth that all guys are wired like that. I'm the same way. Heck, I have full authorization from Carol to do as I please. Big surprise, I still have eyes only for her. There isn't any other woman that I want. I still do things... frequently... that are considerate of her.
I can't really imagine any "friends" of mine calling me anything like *****-whipped. I think I'd fall over laughing. I wouldn't, of course, say it out loud but inside my head I just couldn't help thinking...
Yup, I may be *****-whipped or whatever, but what I know is that my wife will literally do anything for me... inside and outside of the bedroom. I have no unfulfilled sexual fantasies or desires. I can absolutely bank on my wife to have my back and follow my lead in any direction I set. I think I win. I also think I can afford a bit of consideration here and there. It seems only gracious of me LOL.
To put it in cruder guy terms that some men seem to be able to identify with better, "I have a sex slave, you don't, nyah nyah nyah!"
None of that, of course, needs to be said. But man I'd by dying laughing inside if someone called me *****-whipped. Yeah, god forbid I should show some consideration and love to the woman who treats me so well.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
This thread shows an interesting dynamic. She and her husband are happy. She thinks the world of him and started a thread to show that. The angry "sexless" married people hen felt the need to convince her otherwise and ridicule her saying she is naive, suggesting his preference in the future for donkey porn, etc. Why is that? Why project your own misery on to others? Isn't it possible that there are those married people who are happy and have a fantastic relationship? Isn't it possible that he truly only does have eyes for her? Yes. The only naive ones are the ones with such a limited view that all they see is there own issues and believe it applies to all.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by Jeff/BC
No, he's not an exception. It's a myth that all guys are wired like that. I'm the same way. Heck, I have full authorization from Carol to do as I please. Big surprise, I still have eyes only for her. There isn't any other woman that I want. I still do things... frequently... that are considerate of her.
Mine would say the same about me .
Quote:
[i]Yup, I may be *****-whipped or whatever, but what I know is that my wife will literally do anything for me... inside and outside of the bedroom. I have no unfulfilled sexual fantasies or desires. I can absolutely bank on my wife to have my back and follow my lead in any direction I set.
He'd say the same here too. He has told me I fullfill every fantasy & then some......even when I didn't treat him as good as I should have.......he still treated me like I was the most valuable thing to be had in this world...never wanted anyone else, even when the sex was slower.
I write this in response to MominMayberry words about "Why project your own misery on to others?" .... I feel she is misjudging the intent in some of these replies by the men.
There is no misery here.
If I personally have come off as belittling others who treat their spouses like this...or never talk like this, it is not my intention....IT IS A BEAUTIFUL THING....!!!
But at the same time..... I do not believe if a man enjoys a little porn & has a few words with the guys ...that this makes him a less loving / less devoted / less head over heels in love / "one woman" type man....... Those are the insights I am trying to convey .
A happy life-giving marriage can be measured in a variety of ways.....this is just one aspect among many .... the laughter in the home, the enjoyment of each others company, the craving to come together when apart....the little every day kindnesses that make us , even tear up it is so damn good .....
......I don't feel this sort of talk (a little bit of it) lessons it at all -even if we know about it ... We've been together for 30 yrs side by side...best friends ....we've been the most verbally open about these things in the last 3 yrs & they have been our greatest as far as intimacy & a hot sex life.
I could so easily whip up a thread like this on numerous levels... I would come off bragging to the high heavens... many here would not even believe a man like mine exists....they'd be doing this with the mush I express about how he treats me .... I do see him as "one in a million"... I am near embarrassed to say how many "I love you's" I get in a day.....but this is his way, his joy.... there is no whip in my hands
It is a beautiful thing to wake up to every day..and lay my head to sleep every night.
BUT YET...... he still notices a beautiful woman walking past. I don't feel it takes anything at all away from what WE have...nothing ...nada.
I just get the impression some would judge that and try to convince ME to feel differntly ....and I simply know there is no need...this is no threat to me or our love for each other . I know my man.
I have no doubt the OP has a fine marraige. But so too can others where the hubs is a little more verbal & catches a view now & then.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Isn't that the thing though? If both spouses view the other as exceptions or one in billions...the relationship is stronger, more committed and more likely to be sustained. The other shoe doesn't always have to drop. Everyone does not have to be exactly like everyone else.
I do think my husband is one in a billion. It's why I chose him, love him and adore him. Why would anyone want to convince me that they were just like him without knowing him?
We were talking the other day about something really mundane when he said I looked beautiful and I laughed at him because I looked and felt like poo as I was sick. I protested weakly and he said...you're so cute. I said he must really love me and he said...love you? I am completely infatuated with you. Love doesn't do justice to how I feel about you.
Well, that was like porn to my ears and it is exceptional. I certainly don't hear it from everyone else. He is my exception. We all need to find our exception.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by Trenton
Isn't that the thing though? If both spouses view the other as exceptions or one in billions...the relationship is stronger, more committed and more likely to be sustained. The other shoe doesn't always have to drop. Everyone does not have to be exactly like everyone else.
I do think my husband is one in a billion. It's why I chose him, love him and adore him. Why would anyone want to convince me that they were just like him without knowing him?
We were talking the other day about something really mundane when he said I looked beautiful and I laughed at him because I looked and felt like poo as I was sick. I protested weakly and he said...you're so cute. I said he must really love me and he said...love you? I am completely infatuated with you. Love doesn't do justice to how I feel about you.
Well, that was like porn to my ears and it is exceptional. I certainly don't hear it from everyone else. He is my exception. We all need to find our exception.
That reminded me of this. And no, it's not actual porn, don't worry.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Quote:
Trenton said : Isn't that the thing though? If both spouses view the other as exceptions or one in billions...the relationship is stronger, more committed and more likely to be sustained. The other shoe doesn't always have to drop. Everyone does not have to be exactly like everyone else.
I do think my husband is one in a billion. It's why I chose him, love him and adore him.
How true it is - when we feel this way...it speaks .
I remember when I was a little girl, I would hear people saying "I have the best mother in the world" or "I have the best Father in the whole world"... and I was thinking to myself ..... you are deluded ya know -this world is freaking huge and others are better... but of course I kept these thoughts to myself... then as I grew older.... I came to realize ..... but they were "THE BEST"-- to them, that none could compare, no one could replace that person in their life...... in the matters of the heart. They weren't deluded, they wern't lying and wow, what a revelation to my young mind. I finally "got it". A Dahhhh moment ..can you tell I anazlye tooooooo much.
But yeah, how telling it is when each feels they have found the treasure of all treasures in a mate, when we feel it is our "soul mate" even though I would personally speak against the concept of that belief. I will still use the phrase.
We are surely not all the same! I like this saying ...!
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff/BC
No, he's not an exception. It's a myth that all guys are wired like that. I'm the same way. Heck, I have full authorization from Carol to do as I please. Big surprise, I still have eyes only for her. There isn't any other woman that I want. I still do things... frequently... that are considerate of her.
I can't really imagine any "friends" of mine calling me anything like *****-whipped. I think I'd fall over laughing. I wouldn't, of course, say it out loud but inside my head I just couldn't help thinking...
Yup, I may be *****-whipped or whatever, but what I know is that my wife will literally do anything for me... inside and outside of the bedroom. I have no unfulfilled sexual fantasies or desires. I can absolutely bank on my wife to have my back and follow my lead in any direction I set. I think I win. I also think I can afford a bit of consideration here and there. It seems only gracious of me LOL.
To put it in cruder guy terms that some men seem to be able to identify with better, "I have a sex slave, you don't, nyah nyah nyah!"
None of that, of course, needs to be said. But man I'd by dying laughing inside if someone called me *****-whipped. Yeah, god forbid I should show some consideration and love to the woman who treats me so well.
Just out of curiosity: Do you guys have an open relationship? Or have threesomes? It kind of sounds like it in your last few posts in different threads, and since I love how you talk about your wife and your relationship with her, I'd love to know.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Quote:
Originally Posted by MominMayberry
This thread shows an interesting dynamic. She and her husband are happy. She thinks the world of him and started a thread to show that. The angry "sexless" married people hen felt the need to convince her otherwise and ridicule her saying she is naive, suggesting his preference in the future for donkey porn, etc. Why is that? Why project your own misery on to others? Isn't it possible that there are those married people who are happy and have a fantastic relationship? Isn't it possible that he truly only does have eyes for her? Yes. The only naive ones are the ones with such a limited view that all they see is there own issues and believe it applies to all.
You focus on the donkey porn, not the Justin Bieber, shows your tastes.... the scenario is tongue in cheek... it is outlandish and not a serious premonition.
The true issue is not that she thinks highly of him, nor is it about the state of her current relationship, it is that she puts him on a pedestal..... it is the same story regardless of who does that. He or She are always disappointed far more greatly than a person who knows they married a human with human foibles.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trenton
Isn't that the thing though? If both spouses view the other as exceptions or one in billions...the relationship is stronger, more committed and more likely to be sustained. The other shoe doesn't always have to drop. Everyone does not have to be exactly like everyone else.
I do think my husband is one in a billion. It's why I chose him, love him and adore him. Why would anyone want to convince me that they were just like him without knowing him?
We were talking the other day about something really mundane when he said I looked beautiful and I laughed at him because I looked and felt like poo as I was sick. I protested weakly and he said...you're so cute. I said he must really love me and he said...love you? I am completely infatuated with you. Love doesn't do justice to how I feel about you.
Well, that was like porn to my ears and it is exceptional. I certainly don't hear it from everyone else. He is my exception. We all need to find our exception.
Anyone can be one in a billion, because, well, we all are. but none of us are perfect, just perfect FOR someone. The danger lies when you think someone is perfect, not just perfect for you..... geddit. There is no wiggle room when someone thinks you are perfect, but there is plenty of space when you are perfect for them..... maybe I am arguing semantics here, but I see a problem with it.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by AllThePrettyHorses
Just out of curiosity: Do you guys have an open relationship? Or have threesomes? It kind of sounds like it in your last few posts in different threads, and since I love how you talk about your wife and your relationship with her, I'd love to know.
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Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it.... 
.... I do see him as "one in a million"... I am near embarrassed to say how many "I love you's" I get in a day.....but this is his way, his joy.... there is no whip in my hands 
