Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by Mephisto
Anyone can be one in a billion, because, well, we all are. but none of us are perfect, just perfect FOR someone. The danger lies when you think someone is perfect, not just perfect for you..... geddit. There is no wiggle room when someone thinks you are perfect, but there is plenty of space when you are perfect for them..... maybe I am arguing semantics here, but I see a problem with it.
I just ordered this book the other day.... Trenton is the one who 1st used this Woman's link about Vulnerability - that I was so impressed with , I did a thread about it ....
In this latest book, she emphasizes that above all other ingredients of living an emotionally healthy life is the importance of loving ourselves. In the grips of what she took to be a breakdown, or midlife crisis, Brown came to understand she was experiencing a “spiritual awakening” and worked to explore its significance and the interaction of knowing and understanding yourself and loving yourself. She intersperses her own personal journey with research and clinical observations of others of the work of living a “wholehearted” life, or “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.” The point is to embrace life and oneself with all the imperfections, releasing the stress of overdoing and overworking. Brown offers exercises for readers to plumb their own emotions and begin to develop the kind of resilience needed to stand up to unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mephisto
Anyone can be one in a billion, because, well, we all are. but none of us are perfect, just perfect FOR someone. The danger lies when you think someone is perfect, not just perfect for you..... geddit. There is no wiggle room when someone thinks you are perfect, but there is plenty of space when you are perfect for them..... maybe I am arguing semantics here, but I see a problem with it.
I have a question about that.
When you complained that you found your wife's weight gain a turn-off, how much weight did she really put on? I don't think you answered it in your other thread, and it seemed old enough anyways, so I didn't want to go there.
I am just really curious as to how much weight she gained for you to find her not "sexable" anymore to the point of intervening with what she ate.
I am hoping she really put on a lot of pounds, not just, say 10.
Don't get mad, please. I generally pry on here and it's all in curiosity, rarely in accusation.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by MominMayberry
This thread shows an interesting dynamic. She and her husband are happy. She thinks the world of him and started a thread to show that. The angry "sexless" married people hen felt the need to convince her otherwise and ridicule her saying she is naive, suggesting his preference in the future for donkey porn, etc. Why is that? Why project your own misery on to others? Isn't it possible that there are those married people who are happy and have a fantastic relationship? Isn't it possible that he truly only does have eyes for her? Yes. The only naive ones are the ones with such a limited view that all they see is there own issues and believe it applies to all.
I love how having differing opinions mean that someone is in a sexless marriage. I also love the assumption that every man on the board is on here because they're in a sexless marriage. It shows that you know little about men and the various issues they have in marriage. I suggest you read up and you may see that men are more than just a walking extension of their penis. You may also see why men have issue with posts like the original posts that try to cast men's sexuality in a bad light.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by Trenton
Isn't that the thing though? If both spouses view the other as exceptions or one in billions...the relationship is stronger, more committed and more likely to be sustained. The other shoe doesn't always have to drop. Everyone does not have to be exactly like everyone else.
I do think my husband is one in a billion. It's why I chose him, love him and adore him. Why would anyone want to convince me that they were just like him without knowing him?
We were talking the other day about something really mundane when he said I looked beautiful and I laughed at him because I looked and felt like poo as I was sick. I protested weakly and he said...you're so cute. I said he must really love me and he said...love you? I am completely infatuated with you. Love doesn't do justice to how I feel about you.
Well, that was like porn to my ears and it is exceptional. I certainly don't hear it from everyone else. He is my exception. We all need to find our exception.
That's the case in most marriages, at least at the start. Why would anyone marry someone unless they though "he/she is the one". The issue with the OP is not that her man is the exception. There are multiple posts in this thread that show that there are a good number of men that act like her husband. The issue is thinking that he is someone better than men who Lord forbid notices an attactive woman. I could come out and say my wife is the exception for showing up at my office unexpectedly at lunch time, calling me down to the parking lot and having a makeout session around the corner. That's not the stereotypical thing for a woman to do after 12 years of marriage and all the ups and downs we've been through. Who am I to try to downgrade the ladies that fall into the sterotype of wanting to be pursued instead of pursuing? I would get ripped to shreads on the Ladies board if I posted a similar thread to this with the above scenario. Hell SA and Greenpearl get killed for their posts all the time.
Sorry to say, I'm not one of those guys who walk around thinking with his d1ck in his hand...
I don't notice an attractive woman, but I will recognize a rich b***h...
I was very fortunate to find a woman who I see as an exception... I was prone to grow up to despise the human race, I aunts, female cousins, and other neighborhood variety of so called ladies cheat, wh0re around treat men like scum, all around abuse use of their looks.... As a kid, with your eyes open you notice a lot.... You can only imagine what a memory imprint leaves, but my wife broke that mold with a unique personality....
Sex? Yea, I get it.... From my wife, so what do I need to look at those other broads for? I'm poor, and hell yea I work hard... But if I'm noticing anything, it's money... But does that mean I'm oh so perfect? No, and my wife knows my other faults... And some that others see as disgusting, my wife understands because that's where we came from....
I love how having differing opinions mean that someone is in a sexless marriage. I also love the assumption that every man on the board is on here because they're in a sexless marriage. It shows that you know little about men and the various issues they have in marriage. I suggest you read up and you may see that men are more than just a walking extension of their penis. You may also see why men have issue with posts like the original posts that try to cast men's sexuality in a bad light.
This happens a lot in real life and online. Instead of defending or explaining a point, it goes straight to you must be insecure, gay, have a little penis, etc. In this scenario it just happens to be the sexless marriage card. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mephisto
You focus on the donkey porn, not the Justin Bieber, shows your tastes.... the scenario is tongue in cheek... it is outlandish and not a serious premonition.
The true issue is not that she thinks highly of him, nor is it about the state of her current relationship, it is that she puts him on a pedestal..... it is the same story regardless of who does that. He or She are always disappointed far more greatly than a person who knows they married a human with human foibles.
Shows my taste? I don't have fantasies with underage boys, do you? You also made a statement about animal rape, not me.
The fact that you work so hard to convince her that her husband is lying to her or hiding something makes me wonder about you.
She married a man. She loves this man. He loves her. Why are you working so hard to convince her that he is flawed? All beings are flawed but all you seem to do is mock and ridicule her for loving who he is. Is it possible that there is a man on this planet who is not like you? A man who actually appreciates who he has? Yes. I am also married to one and all I can say to you is that I hope someday you get your head on straight.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by Kobo
I love how having differing opinions mean that someone is in a sexless marriage. I also love the assumption that every man on the board is on here because they're in a sexless marriage. It shows that you know little about men and the various issues they have in marriage. I suggest you read up and you may see that men are more than just a walking extension of their penis. You may also see why men have issue with posts like the original posts that try to cast men's sexuality in a bad light.
Please stop with your passive aggressive post. You don't "love" anything in my post. Just come out and say it as I will to yours. Have you read around here? Every man here is in a sexless or near sexless marriage. Why would a man here have an issue with this post? She posted that her husband isn't some porn watcher strip club loving man nor does he openly gawk at women. The men here attacked her for saying that he is different from all of you. They thought he is weird or wrong in some way. Projection is all it is. Just because you do it doesn't mean all men are like that. Her husband is respectful.
As for knowing men, I have been married for 21 years. I came to this forum for parenting advice and wandered in to other places.
I know men. I know my husband and yes, he is like the posters husband.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
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Originally Posted by AllThePrettyHorses
Just out of curiosity: Do you guys have an open relationship? Or have threesomes? It kind of sounds like it in your last few posts in different threads, and since I love how you talk about your wife and your relationship with her, I'd love to know.
Uh... not exactly... let me try to send a private PM.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Quote:
Originally Posted by MominMayberry
Please stop with your passive aggressive post. You don't "love" anything in my post. Just come out and say it as I will to yours. Have you read around here? Every man here is in a sexless or near sexless marriage. Why would a man here have an issue with this post? She posted that her husband isn't some porn watcher strip club loving man nor does he openly gawk at women. The men here attacked her for saying that he is different from all of you. They thought he is weird or wrong in some way. Projection is all it is. Just because you do it doesn't mean all men are like that. Her husband is respectful.
As for knowing men, I have been married for 21 years. I came to this forum for parenting advice and wandered in to other places.
I know men. I know my husband and yes, he is like the posters husband.
Your statement that "Every man here is in a sexless or near sexless marriage" is idiotic and tells me you see what you want to see. Once again you prove just like many others in this thread that her husband is not some sort of exception. He is a man that doesn't like strip clubs. I can name off a good number of men off the top of my head that don't like or don't go to strip clubs.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Quote:
Originally Posted by MominMayberry
Every man here is in a sexless or near sexless marriage.
Not this man so clearly an inaccurate statement.
Why would a man here have an issue with this post?
Let me try to explain. But first, let's be very clear that the amount it offended me was miniscule. It's not like I've got some huge bug up my butt about it.
So let's turn the tables. As a thought experiment, how do you think it would go if I went on over to the lady's forum and posted that my wife was different than most because she wasn't a vapid airhead useful only for cooking and making babies."
If we're going to drag out 50's stereotypes, then we should do it in both directions, right? That's where the offense is for me... the implied slur at the male gender in general.
I happen to like strip clubs. I like the visual stimulation and I also like the "doing something bad" aspect of it. But you know what? Every time I pass one and think "Man, I should stop in there." the problem I run into is that that would delay me getting home and, frankly, I've got better at home. I've been meaning to go to a strip club pretty much since Carol and I have been married and so far it just hasn't risen up the priority queue enough for me to make the time to do it. I actually feel kind of bad about that in a "lost to-do" sort of way ~laughs~
That's one ACTUAL male. Others on this thread have posted similar things. The stereotype is just that... a stereotype... and an offensive one.
other guys, of course, might have found offense for different reasons.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobo
Your statement that "Every man here is in a sexless or near sexless marriage" is idiotic and tells me you see what you want to see. Once again you prove just like many others in this thread that her husband is not some sort of exception. He is a man that doesn't like strip clubs. I can name off a good number of men off the top of my head that don't like or don't go to strip clubs.
Have you read the sex or mens forum? Mostly men posting about how the women don't want sex with them. I don't see what I want to see, I read what was written. You seem very defensive in your post. I was saying she is happy, let her be and yet you continue to attack her and the people who continue with attacks are sexless or almost sexless so they just project their stuff on her, as did you.
Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobo
Hell SA and Greenpearl get killed for their posts all the time.
Greenpearl is not here much anymore... I go around deleting some of mine .... I either feel too exposed afterwards ... or anticipating another bringing down the hammer in judgement because they are more "moral".... or feel they are. I am very sensitive in this way.
But it would be silly to sugar coat or leave things out we have enjoyed. It is all about sharing our experiences here... .the good, the bad , the ugly...and the controversial.
Some of the things we have done... like going to the Gentleman's club together (trust me that is the worse, we are very very tame)..... I enjoyed it too! That time frame was part of MY Mid life crisis, wanting to go back in time, live it up a little, I was so much of a "good girl" my whole life... something got unleashed during that time.....but I kept it all at home....how many husbands & wives stick together like glue through theirs and have a ton of FUN with it... that was our experience. I'd do it all over again in a heart beat.
Glad to see Jeff/BC can admit he enjoys some visual stimilation. I would never judge a man's character on such a thing... it is so so so much more than that.
I consider that as normal as the sun coming up , the same as women getting all Gaga over a hot actor in a romantic film , or reading a romance novel.
Us women are guilty too.... just in a different way.
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Re: My hubby is an exception....but other guys can't stand it.... 
