Re: My wife is depressed and nothing I do is ever good enough for her, what can I do?
Hi, I am new here. Many of these comments hit home. My wife has been depressed on and off for the past 5 years. The last two years have been severe. It stems from a narsistic mother. She is working hard to break the feeling of never being good enough. Various meds and thearpy but its still a tough road. Just wanted thoes in the same position to know others are dealing with this too. Its tough when your wife realizes what she is doing is wrong, but can't help it. Your right, sometimes its easier for me to act depressed or mad at something. It makes her feel better. Its hard when our son wants daddy, and that makes her feel worse. Its this downward spiral. It sucks when your in a fight, and by the end of it she admits your right, then she feels even worse. Its like I just spent 10 minutes making her feel bad, even though it was sparked by something I should be mad about. My advise is two fold. First you have to find a line between helping and enabling. Its easy to take over everything because nothing is getting done, its easy to try to protect your young son, but soon your no longer helping and it just makes them feel worse and you encourage the behavior. My second item is to take care of yourself. I have been burnt out because I spend all my time trying to 'make things better'. The 'tricks' mentioned above with the gifts and trips help (and your completely right about the call to check the mood) but it gets to a point where you get burnt out. I have hope because she is getting the help she needs, and when she is not in a funk, she is the wonderfull woman I married. She is sick, and its my job to see her through this. FYI: most of the depression meds destroyed her ability to have an orgasim. They also make her gain weight. But they are giving her the strength to fight this. We all have our issues. Depression is hard because most don't consider it to be real. (Just start exercising...bla bla bla). Thanks for letting me talk.
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