Is it so wrong that despite reality and popular opinion I want a man who only thinks about me? Is it wrong that I want to be so stellar, good in bed and a fabulous wife/lover that it's impossible for my man to think of other women without immediately defaulting back to me? Come on now, I'm willing to put in the work and all!
OK, might be unrealistic, but tell me it is realistic, possible and implausible any other way...anyway.
It's not unrealistic..with the right man. When you find him, just let him know often you really, really want him. I think a woman who really wants her man is the sexiest creature on the planet to her man.
Sadly, it seems many woman simply are not "into" their men. When men "get this" they are driven to find someone else.
a. "yes", we noticed that ****ty woman but we think she's hot.
b. "yes", those jeans do make your butt look big (but it's kinda hot).
c. "yes", if you died, we'd find someone else. We might even find someone interesting at the funeral home.
d. we truly don't care which curtains you pick out.
e. we don't hear 80% of what you say. Pretending to listen is our plan to get you in the sack.
f. We're embarrassingly simple to maintain. Keep us fed and laid and don't try to talk to us when the TVs on. Stroke our ego and you can have pretty much anything.
This might be true for some men, but NOT all men, not even the majority.....this simply does not speak to all or most men.
One of the ugly truths I've discovered about "us" is when I start noticing other women, stop being so into my wife, she gets more into me. When I start acting more caveman, she gets a lot more slvtty with me. Like the other night, I made a remark mark about the remarkably admirable posterior of a girl we had seen earlier in the evening. We were already in the bedroom and getting hot, this seemed to make her hotter. The more I talked about how hot the other women were, the more slvtty and freaky she got. It seems counter-intuitive to me but hey, whatever works.
One of the ugly truths I've discovered about "us" is when I start noticing other women, stop being so into my wife, she gets more into me. When I start acting more caveman, she gets a lot more slvtty with me. Like the other night, I made a remark mark about the remarkably admirable posterior of a girl we had seen earlier in the evening. We were already in the bedroom and getting hot, this seemed to make her hotter. The more I talked about how hot the other women were, the more slvtty and freaky she got. It seems counter-intuitive to me but hey, whatever works.
May have been said before, but: We are not as tough as we portray. We do get weighed down quite often. And hearing you say/brag "Nothing phases my man" & "Thank you for being strong and always supporting me"... causes our ego to hold us to that standard. I'll admit I have a problem with pride. Every once in a while, ask us how we are. If you ask how was work... we'll say it was fine or give a quick rant. But if you ask, "Hey, how are you doing today?" You might get a puzzled look and, I guarantee, a different answer.
May have been said before, but: We are not as tough as we portray. We do get weighed down quite often. And hearing you say/brag "Nothing phases my man" & "Thank you for being strong and always supporting me"... causes our ego to hold us to that standard. I'll admit I have a problem with pride. Every once in a while, ask us how we are. If you ask how was work... we'll say it was fine or give a quick rant. But if you ask, "Hey, how are you doing today?" You might get a puzzled look and, I guarantee, a different answer.
Hi Baffled,
I hear you; I used to do this too. It did not go on for long (fortunately), but I saw it was some pride but mostly fear of failure. I was driven less by internal perfectionism and more by expectations (real and imaginary) of others.
Echoing your post, my ex used to say that I did XYZ well, but only when done really well (and it was all talk and no give-back). From there, that service level became the standard and failure to meet it was met with disapproval.
I am not a slacker and have high standards for myself. But having excessive expectations disregards your humanity. Also, with diminishing returns, so you are putting tons of effort for minimal gains into something you may not even like.
The point is you ultimately need to make sure you are doing the rights things for the right reasons (genuine satisfaction, not some sort of compulsion or pressure). You must set some limits on what is a genuine good job fully meeting your responsibilities and what is excessive, and allocate your effort accordingly.
The Lifetime Channel might suggest women can't wait to get a weepy, sensitive, vulnerable, sensitive man. Nothing is farther from the truth. Such men portray insecurity and most women have enough of that without marrying more.
The Lifetime Channel might suggest women can't wait to get a weepy, sensitive, vulnerable, sensitive man. Nothing is farther from the truth. Such men portray insecurity and most women have enough of that without marrying more.
Yes, crying without a decent reason is a recipe for disaster. Honestly, trying to be politically correct in your relationship is in itself a horrible idea. You don't have to be a caveman, but trying to be the 2012 man the magazines would have you be is guaranteed failure.
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Re: Men, I want the ugly truth from you. 
and a woof 
