It is easy for men to bottle up emotions and not share. It is hard to open up and he won't do it if he doesn't trust you.
If he does open up and you cry about what he says, he's not going to do it again.
If he does open up and you get angry about what he says, he's not going to do it again.
When you do either it feels like you want to dictate how he's supposed to feel vs. wanting to know how he feels.
Larry.gray your post really resonated with me..
I've been dealing with honesty issues with my H over the past year ( and more...)
This came up in MC... my reaction to less than good news put him off telling me many things. Decided what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me. Just about ended our 20+ year marriage.
Boy it's tough to re-learn behavious and reactions... for both of us.
I can only speak for my self but....
1. I don't care what your mother thinks, never have never will.
2. Whatever clothes you buy the kids are fine. Really they are fine I don't want any input in the matter.
3. Yes all these channels on Dish are necessary, every freakin last one of them. ( except for Lifetime and the Oprah network)
I've been dealing with honesty issues with my H over the past year ( and more...)
This came up in MC... my reaction to less than good news put him off telling me many things. Decided what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me. Just about ended our 20+ year marriage.
Boy it's tough to re-learn behavious and reactions... for both of us.
The big thing for a guy is learning to separate sharing news vs. sharing feelings. Often the news can/should make you sad, angry etc. If you share both at once then they get conflated. Separating the delivery of the two helps.
Believe what you want. Guys check out women like dogs check out steak. We're supposed to be attracted to the opposite sex. The survival of the species depends upon it. Did you think we gravitated to women for the fascinating conversation or because we share your devotion to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and the Lifetime Channel?
There are billions of people on this planet and half are male. I concede there must be a few that defy the "norm". More likely, this male friend of your's is trying to appear non-threatening to you by slipping on his sheep suit. I can pretend to be sensitive, saintly, and sexually non-threatening, too. Whatever gets Pooh to the honeypot.
He's got values and that's great. That doesn't mean he isn't sexually attracted to women or that he's blind. I assume he intends to marry a female at some point?
Of course. He'd really like to meet someone. His concern isn't that he finds some women attractive but that he doesn't think in lustful terms or feel the need to check women out like the world seems to think he should be doing. He's not particularly occupied with sex mentally. I've just told him to accept who he is and there is nothing wrong with being the way he is. I don't think it means he is defective, as he put it.
Why is this guy I know worried because he doesn't actively think about sex all the time and have an interest in checking out women like he keeps hearing he is 'supposed to'? He even said, "Maybe something is wrong with me". Society tells men they are supposed to be a certain way but not all are. I'm not denying the majority may well be but sending men a message that this is how they are meant to be can cause those that aren't distress.
Or is it like this thing where women are supposed to be maternal and the minority that aren't are made to feel like there is something wrong with them when there isn't, they are just different?
Have you ever read about how "nice guys" try to convince women they aren't "really" like other men?
Have you ever read about how "nice guys" try to convince women they aren't "really" like other men?
Oldest trick in the book.
Oldest card in the deck.
Exactly. "I'm one of the good ones." Instead of raging in with war paint and wrestling a bear for the kill, he's choosing to be a bunny petter, showing his non-threatening side to gain trust and go in for the kill later.
Not all guys are the meathead type, but come on now... We all love women. We all love sex. We all get urges when we think about hot women. No shame in it.
sorry, I guess I wasn't clear. I meant you are clueless as to what makes a real man, and one who is attractive to the opposite sex. hint: it has nothing to do with how virile you try to make the world believe you are.
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Re: Men, I want the ugly truth from you. 
