If you put off clearing the dishwasher and let the sink get cluttered, I"M GOING TO DO THEM IF I FEEL LIKE IT.
If a singular item is misplaced or has a speck of food on it that I missed, I am not creating more work for you. I did something you didn't feel like doing and now you don't have to!
It can take 10-30 minutes to clear dishes. Amount of time it takes to rinse something off or put it in the right place: 5-15 seconds.
And I wasn't doing you a favor. I'm doing the kitchen a favor.
my wife rearranges the dishes in the dishwasher after i have loaded it. i am fairly neat about it but i guess its not good enough. this is after they sat in the sink for hours and i finally get fed up enough to load it.
I agree completely. We're real men..not guys on romatic comedies. Unfortunately we do think about banging you even though you're a good "friend". Can't help it.
Exactly. I pointed out to my wife the other day that I don't have any ugly female friends. Meaning, if I hadn't met my wife, at some point, we probably would have been more than friends. They fell into the friend category by default since I'm a faithful husband, lol.
Going back to divorce facts and marriage counsellors topping the charts....
They talk a fantastic job.... we ALL know what we should be doing to make our marriages work...we should communicate more, we should be more receptive to each others needs, we should have more empathy etc etc....we know all this....now put a bloody great dollop of reality into the equation.....If only it were that simple!
Its like people saying getting sex outside a marriage is W R O N G.... may you rot in hell!
Yeah...BUT....
Can I ask some questions of the men here? This seemed like an appropriate place to ask them...
1. When sitting there zoning out, what do you think about? What runs through your head? Think about times when you are most likely to have that quiet time to think - like the shower, or driving in the car, or whatever.
My husband insists that he thinks about NOTHING. That his mind is totally blank and shut off. I have visions of Homer Simpson in my head when he says this. Is it true? Or do you think about things that you just don't want to repeat out loud to me (like banging the neighbor, for example)?
2. Is it fair for me to assume that if you don't voice an opinion to me about something, that you don't have one and I shouldn't beg you for a response? Examples - what we are having for dinner, what groceries we buy, what kind of furniture we get, where we go to dinner with our friends, etc. If you don't speak up and say something, is it OK to carry on and make all of these decisions without you, or is that running you over completely?
Can I ask some questions of the men here? This seemed like an appropriate place to ask them...
1. When sitting there zoning out, what do you think about? What runs through your head? Think about times when you are most likely to have that quiet time to think - like the shower, or driving in the car, or whatever.
Usually... nothing. Really.
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Originally Posted by kag123
2. Is it fair for me to assume that if you don't voice an opinion to me about something, that you don't have one and I shouldn't beg you for a response? Examples - what we are having for dinner, what groceries we buy, what kind of furniture we get, where we go to dinner with our friends, etc. If you don't speak up and say something, is it OK to carry on and make all of these decisions without you, or is that running you over completely?
Usually we don't really care. I wouldn't recommend doing things without involving us at all... but telling us what you want before hand is plenty. Most of the time, we don't really care. A couch is a couch. If we care, we'll give you input when you tell us what you want/plan to do.
The ugly truth is that men are simple. All most men want is three things. a job that pays enough that he can live the way he wants to live. He has someone to put IT in and makes him feel like a million bucks. The last thing we want is to be in a Heist.
My husband always said that my male friends who I viewed as "brothers" just wanted to get in my pants. I told him he was full of sh!t but was proven wrong. WAY WRONG!!!!
I told my W the same thing about her "brothers." She got incredibly pizzed off that I would think such a horrendous thing. Incredibly insulting to her. Then...I found out later that two of her "brothers" were coming on to her hard on FB.
Can I ask some questions of the men here? This seemed like an appropriate place to ask them...
1. When sitting there zoning out, what do you think about? What runs through your head? Think about times when you are most likely to have that quiet time to think - like the shower, or driving in the car, or whatever.
My husband insists that he thinks about NOTHING. That his mind is totally blank and shut off. I have visions of Homer Simpson in my head when he says this. Is it true? Or do you think about things that you just don't want to repeat out loud to me (like banging the neighbor, for example)?
2. Is it fair for me to assume that if you don't voice an opinion to me about something, that you don't have one and I shouldn't beg you for a response? Examples - what we are having for dinner, what groceries we buy, what kind of furniture we get, where we go to dinner with our friends, etc. If you don't speak up and say something, is it OK to carry on and make all of these decisions without you, or is that running you over completely?
1. Sometimes it really is nothing, totally blank. Other times it's things I'm stressed about, like work or bills or deadlines. And yes, sometimes I'm thinking about something I just don't want to share. It could be about banging the neighbor, but more often than not it's about doing things with the wife that she refuses to do.....and I just know that if I say it outloud she'll be pissed and I'm never getting it anyway so why bother talking about it.
2. I always have an opinion. If I don't voice it then it's usually because I think you won't like it and my opinion is not strong enough for me to care either way. If I want fish and you want steak, I'm not going to argue about it cause let's face it; steak is pretty damn good. If I have a strong opinion, then you'll know it. When we were finishing our house my wife kept bugging me about what shades I wanted for the windows. Ya, I saw one in the samples I liked but honestly I didn't want to make the decision and then hear about how much she hates them for the next 5 years. So I refused to make the decision. But then she couldn't make up her mind, so finally I just ordered the ones I liked. I think that's what she wanted in the first place. She'd rather I was responsible for choosing so she can complain about it.
Can I ask some questions of the men here? This seemed like an appropriate place to ask them...
1. When sitting there zoning out, what do you think about? What runs through your head? Think about times when you are most likely to have that quiet time to think - like the shower, or driving in the car, or whatever.
My husband insists that he thinks about NOTHING. That his mind is totally blank and shut off. I have visions of Homer Simpson in my head when he says this. Is it true? Or do you think about things that you just don't want to repeat out loud to me (like banging the neighbor, for example)?
It depends. Sometime it is really nothing, or everything. I often will just jump around think about things, with no real rhyme or reason. The only connect in my admittedly out there mind, so I really can't say I am think about anything specific. Sometimes though, it is about thinks we don't want to share (rarely about the neighbor) or that we are not ready to share (because we need to think throught what it is we are thinking on the subject).
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2. Is it fair for me to assume that if you don't voice an opinion to me about something, that you don't have one and I shouldn't beg you for a response? Examples - what we are having for dinner, what groceries we buy, what kind of furniture we get, where we go to dinner with our friends, etc. If you don't speak up and say something, is it OK to carry on and make all of these decisions without you, or is that running you over completely?
It depends on the guy. If he clearly lets you know his opinions when they are important, than silence implies either he does not care or his preference is not worth fighting about (which of his two favorite restuarants to go to). But if he if he never gives you opinions, or is trying to please you too much, then he is likely allowing you to run over him.
1. I am probably thinking of something you don't care about. Like how at work, I have to do an audit of some company, and it is due on Monday, and I will try to think of a way, to get it done, and still catch the game later tonight. Or if I am still in the office pool for something or another.
2. As for the opinion thing, it depends on how major the issue is.
If it is something like, what kind of groceries do we get, store brand or name brand, I don't care.
If it's you are going out to dinner with your friends, and you are simply telling me about, I probably won't care. If there are males there, that may change it.
If it is "I am thinking about buying some new furniture. It cost over $1800." Then I probably thought you were joking, or I wasn't paying attention.
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Re: Men, I want the ugly truth from you. 
