Re: He say's 'All guys are like this' IS IT TRUE?
I have a husband like yours and we are now getting divorced. I have two young kids.
He was verbally abusive to me when any of his needs weren't being met. Not just sex (but that was a big thing) but also if he was having a bad day at work, if someone else had annoyed him, if his dinner wasn't cooked right or what he wanted - you get the picture. If you take a closer look at your guy you will probably find the same.
It isn't about love, this is about CONTROL, him being selfish and getting his needs met. He has planted the mindset in you that if you don't give him what he wants, he is going to treat you, and your daughter very badly.
Don't ever forget that verbal abuse wears away at your soul. I still hear all the names, all the put downs and threats from my husband that he gave me over the years. You do not deserve this.
I spent ten years trying to help my husband 'understand' why his actions were so hurtful and so detrimental to our relationship. I was wrong to do this. Not only was I trying to get him see something that he didn't want to, I also wasted a lot of precious energy and time.
I used to think my husband can change. He gave me lots of apologies and promises to. I don't believe he will ever change now. My advice to you would be to firstly separate. Then, your husband needs to get into an abuser program, that lasts at least 6 months. I doubt if he will though, he doesn't think there is anything wrong with his behaviour does he? Separate but don't do this with the hope that you will make him see the light. Separate because that is the right thing to do for you and your daughter, so you don't have to be abused and she doesn't think that this is normal behaviour. It isn't.
Run for the hills and take your precious daughter with you. Life is so much more peaceful for me now without all the pressure of having to live by someone else's selfish rules and living under a tyranny all the time. It could be for you as well.
I wish you all the best.
PS - some great sites out there on verbal abuse - google 'our place verbal abuse' and 'drirene.com'.
"Tell me... what is it you want to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Last edited by jen1020; 04-14-2012 at 12:43 AM.