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Old 04-26-2012, 03:07 PM   #181 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by DvlsAdvc8 View Post
Are you slow? I said I wasn't looking. You say I was. Do you know what I'm thinking?

Every example opportunity I gave in this thread was from my previous *12 years* of faithful marriage. I didn't "start looking" until 6 months ago after having been a very unhappy husband for 6 years... and even then only because an "opportunity" I wasn't looking for presented itself and I decided I liked the attention. I avoided FAR more opportunities in the years I was happily married than I had affairs in the years I was unhappy, so I really don't care what you think. I've decided that its not worth it to stay faithfully unhappy with someone who pays you no attention.

Take the bitter sanctimonious attitude elsewhere, I'm not wasting any more time on you.
You make me laugh. You are mad because your wife care about your children and you hate them. Most men care about the children not you. You care about your self. Every body here see that but not you. You are the slow person.
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Old 04-27-2012, 06:50 PM   #182 (permalink)
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You make me laugh. You are mad because your wife care about your children and you hate them. Most men care about the children not you. You care about your self. Every body here see that but not you. You are the slow person.
lol I'm not mad at all Mrs Mayberry. And yes, I care enough about myself enough to not stay married to a mommy robot. You're so offended because you're probably one yourself. Checked your hubby's internet usage lately?

Alas, none of that has any bearing on the existence of "opportunities to cheat" when you're not looking to. They are in fact plentiful. Here's some simple logic even you should understand: If I was looking to cheat in any of the examples I provided from my 12 years of faithful marriage, then any or all of them would have been examples of ACTUALLY cheating rather than remaining examples of high temptation avoided (opportunities). Get it now, or do I have to draw a picture? You don't like the message so you attack the messenger.

Given enough temptation and security from being caught, a large number of men will cheat even though they aren't actively seeking anyone. Throw temptation on top of problems at home and that number only goes up. While hard to pin down, if you search around online most sources you find will put the percent of men who have cheated at some point in their lives between 45-70%. Good luck with your roll of the dice. You might want to climb down from your high horse to see what you roll.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:05 PM   #183 (permalink)
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I feel when a good person cheats, and Yes.... I feel GOOD People can fall into something (many many say ...Oh it can never happen to me..then when it does, they eat those words).....it is born out of lonliness, a cold rejecting spouse at home, where they are dying inside....they feel unloved, worthless even, another is friendly to them, someone shows they care....we all have emotions and a sex drive... one thing does lead to another.... we are only human....

When you find yourself in the desert in your own home....months , years at a time...water starts looking pretty damn good outside your doors. But yeah, better to leave those spouses! I am not the cheater type.. but I do not feel I am above falling into something if my husband made me feel like dirt everyday, rejected me continously ,If I was bordering depression over feeling I was worthless... No, that temptation might be too damn much to bare. But I know me.. I would cause so much hell over my unhappiness, raising the roof off of the house...he'd know exactly where I was heading. One thing I am .... is honest.

I feel this is an excellent book, an excellent author, though many will be insulted by it's title:

When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships : Mira Kirshenbaum: Books
This accurately describes how I feel to a tee... ice cold wife at home for years, feel worthless. Will get in shape and find someone else.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:30 PM   #184 (permalink)
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This accurately describes how I feel to a tee... ice cold wife at home for years, feel worthless. Will get in shape and find someone else.
Yeah it's the female equivalent of a man whose wife deprives him of any kind of sex for years. He feels the same way.

Bottom line is depriving your spouse of what they need most from the other greatly increases the chance of that spouse seeking their needs met by someone else.
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Old 04-27-2012, 09:35 PM   #185 (permalink)
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You make me laugh. You are mad because your wife care about your children and you hate them. Most men care about the children not you. You care about your self. Every body here see that but not you. You are the slow person.
Have you always been this angry?
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Old 04-28-2012, 12:47 AM   #186 (permalink)
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Have you always been this angry?
No. Marriage made it. You? You seem angry to. The person I talk about has cheat many time and writes he hates his children. I dont think anger was wrong. Read his posts.
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Old 04-28-2012, 08:11 AM   #187 (permalink)
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I just recently had a man tell me I was an A-Class person before picking me up off the floor by grabbing my butt cheeks with both his hands and, I kid you not, I could feel his boner in his pants on my leg. This was at an expensive, charity event and I was not on the dance floor or anything like that...I was working the event.

It was a very disgusting experience. My husband was at this same event but not with me at the time. I think if he had seen it he would have killed the guy, I almost wish he did see it so that he could have killed the guy. When the guy did this I was flailing my arms in a...no, no, no motion. He put me down and said to me, "You don't like this?" Of which I replied, "NO!"

Is that an opportunity to cheat or sexual assault?

Afterwards, it turned out that he had also done this to another woman at the event and this man has since been asked to resign from his position in the org.

I have to tell you, I'm sure there are opportunities to cheat if you're looking for them. As a woman, I have absolutely no desire to cheat on my husband and I find men who approach me as confusing. I don't even really understand it or what they want. I'm still trying to figure out the difference between a business relationship dance and flirting/someone wanting more than just business.

I am one of those exceptions who is attracted to the brain. Give me an intelligent man who can wow me with creativity and knowledge and I think I'd be tempted. I have yet to run into any man like that besides my husband or sometimes online when you can get to know brains without the usual pressure of trying to interpret body language.

For all intensive purposes I am not a head turner...I'm a middle aged Mom & Wife and I am really clumsy -but- I do talk a lot and engage people, try to make them feel comfortable. I had another post about knowingly dressing to the 9's to impress and I'll admit I also do this. This may be mistaken as flirty or flirting but it's certainly not my intention.

All of this could be easily sorted if we could read minds gosh darn it.
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Old 04-28-2012, 08:27 AM   #188 (permalink)
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For all intensive purposes I am not a head turner...I'm a middle aged Mom & Wife and I am really clumsy -but- I do talk a lot and engage people, try to make them feel comfortable. I had another post about knowingly dressing to the 9's to impress and I'll admit I also do this. This may be mistaken as flirty or flirting but it's certainly not my intention.
For lonely guys, yeah talking is equivalent to flirting. I have had friends on multiple occasions (back in college) who were normally very shy feel emboldened enough to ask woman out just because she actually talked to him. They figured she had already made the first move, that she was practically begging them to ask the woman out (in their minds).

Yeah I hung out with the engineers and science geeks... lots of lonely guys there trust me.
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Old 04-28-2012, 01:19 PM   #189 (permalink)
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I have had friends on multiple occasions (back in college) who were normally very shy feel emboldened enough to ask woman out just because she actually talked to him.
--Reminds me of my daughters explaining to me the importance of always wearing sunglasses on public transportation. It was to avoid eye contact with strange men. Apparently even eye contact emboldens lonely guys.
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Old 04-30-2012, 02:11 PM   #190 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Trenton View Post
I just recently had a man tell me I was an A-Class person before picking me up off the floor by grabbing my butt cheeks with both his hands and, I kid you not, I could feel his boner in his pants on my leg. This was at an expensive, charity event and I was not on the dance floor or anything like that...I was working the event.

It was a very disgusting experience. My husband was at this same event but not with me at the time. I think if he had seen it he would have killed the guy, I almost wish he did see it so that he could have killed the guy. When the guy did this I was flailing my arms in a...no, no, no motion. He put me down and said to me, "You don't like this?" Of which I replied, "NO!"

Is that an opportunity to cheat or sexual assault?

Afterwards, it turned out that he had also done this to another woman at the event and this man has since been asked to resign from his position in the org.

I have to tell you, I'm sure there are opportunities to cheat if you're looking for them. As a woman, I have absolutely no desire to cheat on my husband and I find men who approach me as confusing. I don't even really understand it or what they want. I'm still trying to figure out the difference between a business relationship dance and flirting/someone wanting more than just business.

I am one of those exceptions who is attracted to the brain. Give me an intelligent man who can wow me with creativity and knowledge and I think I'd be tempted. I have yet to run into any man like that besides my husband or sometimes online when you can get to know brains without the usual pressure of trying to interpret body language.

For all intensive purposes I am not a head turner...I'm a middle aged Mom & Wife and I am really clumsy -but- I do talk a lot and engage people, try to make them feel comfortable. I had another post about knowingly dressing to the 9's to impress and I'll admit I also do this. This may be mistaken as flirty or flirting but it's certainly not my intention.

All of this could be easily sorted if we could read minds gosh darn it.
I'd consider what happened to you harrassment. But being clumsy is actually attractive to me... it has this strange sort of cuteness to it that I can't really explain.

I find brains reallyattractive. Extremely attractive. When you're not actively "looking", intelligent conversation seems perfectly platonic and harmless. But a lot of times the conversation begins to turn and become flirty, and you've already been sucked into enjoying the conversation with this person. If asked if I thought a conversation would go that route in the beginning... I'd have said no way.

Its the seemingly innocent things that are the worst. You're sucked in by talking about common interests or intellectual pursuits and then you realize the conversation made an inappropriate turn at some point. There's the opportunity. You get this vibe that you can lead this where ever you want to. Or maybe you're complaining and the person provides a sympathetic ear and an attachment evolves. My string of affairs began this way. I was unhappy, but I certainly wasn't looking to cheat until inadvertently connecting with someone in a totally platonic sense - weekly sessions listening to each other gripe about life troubles. She followed up with flirting, and it felt good to be a priority to someone again... so I flirted too. I went for it where I would have walked away in the past.

Last edited by DvlsAdvc8; 04-30-2012 at 02:17 PM.
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Old 04-30-2012, 03:10 PM   #191 (permalink)
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Default Re: Opportunity for cheating men

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trenton View Post
I just recently had a man tell me I was an A-Class person before picking me up off the floor by grabbing my butt cheeks with both his hands and, I kid you not, I could feel his boner in his pants on my leg. This was at an expensive, charity event and I was not on the dance floor or anything like that...I was working the event.

It was a very disgusting experience. My husband was at this same event but not with me at the time. I think if he had seen it he would have killed the guy, I almost wish he did see it so that he could have killed the guy. When the guy did this I was flailing my arms in a...no, no, no motion. He put me down and said to me, "You don't like this?" Of which I replied, "NO!"

Is that an opportunity to cheat or sexual assault?

Afterwards, it turned out that he had also done this to another woman at the event and this man has since been asked to resign from his position in the org.

I have to tell you, I'm sure there are opportunities to cheat if you're looking for them. As a woman, I have absolutely no desire to cheat on my husband and I find men who approach me as confusing. I don't even really understand it or what they want. I'm still trying to figure out the difference between a business relationship dance and flirting/someone wanting more than just business.

I am one of those exceptions who is attracted to the brain. Give me an intelligent man who can wow me with creativity and knowledge and I think I'd be tempted. I have yet to run into any man like that besides my husband or sometimes online when you can get to know brains without the usual pressure of trying to interpret body language.

For all intensive purposes I am not a head turner...I'm a middle aged Mom & Wife and I am really clumsy -but- I do talk a lot and engage people, try to make them feel comfortable. I had another post about knowingly dressing to the 9's to impress and I'll admit I also do this. This may be mistaken as flirty or flirting but it's certainly not my intention.

All of this could be easily sorted if we could read minds gosh darn it.
Just curious, what did your hubby say when you told him this?
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