Re: Opportunity for cheating men
Not sure I buy the theory that those hit on are doing something, or giving off vibes that make them get hit on. Instead, I think some people are more aware of body language and other non-verbals. I tend to be very aware of non-verbals, but wouldn't call it "being hit on" just because I sense some lingering glances or some of the other non-verbal cues. My wife will sometimes ask if I'm seeing something "off" between a couple of people, especially since I tried to get her to talk to her sister about her affair with a friend of the family, which seemed obvious to us, but not her husband for a few months.
We frequently entertain friends and try to set up things with people we come to trust as friends. Sometimes, there have been situations where someone has crossed the line, but my wife and I will let each other know that we're getting uncomfortable if someone begins to behave questionably.
We had moved to a new area once, and friends from work asked if I would lead the group in rafting/canoeing down a river across the state, where I grew up. I began to notice that a few of the people were not our types of friends. My wife was intimidated by some of the flirting by one guy, and a woman who always seemed to be neaby while we were floating suddenly got a case of wayward hands. We ended the trip early. There were other times. When my wife and I were struggling in the marriage a couple of years ago, one of her friends stopped by during a day when my wife was at a memorial "just to check up on her", and was pretty direct about telling me that her husband never wanted sex, and "that she was there for me". I told my wife about it. There were others, but I've always felt like my committment to my wife was one of the few things in life that I could consistently give her, and I have.