I suppose most behaviours if taken to an extreme could be a deal breaker but on the other hand, I could work with or around many issues or problems as long as there was reason to hope for change.
But in addition to the biggies of abuse, if I had to do it again or give advise to anyone thinking of marriage, I would say don't marry or stay married to someone who didn't like or was indifferent to sex.
It's good someone mentioned this.
I dated someone earlier this year but because of the fact that he was jobless, had no goals and seemed not to be bothered by it I had to get away from him.
It was a turn off for me.
Cheating - it wouldn't be an automatic dump, but the situation would be examined and how everything turned out. I wouldn't automatically forgive either, I've had enough cheating, lying arseholes in my life, I don't want anymore.
Abuse to either my children or myself.
Finding out my S/O was talking to other people about problems we where having in our relationship, without addressing them with me first. He and I should be the first ones to know if there is an issue that needs to be worked out.
Secrecy - I think it goes almost hand in hand with lying. I go out of my way to respect the privacy of my partner, but if I feel he is keeping things from me, it doesn't usually go well. If I have a gut feeling about something and my bullcrap meter starts to go off, it's usually correct.
Taking advantage of me or taking me for granted - I know it happens, but if after conversations about it doesn't correct it, I have to move on to someone who'd respect me and the things that I do.
Withholding love and affection.
I'm sure I can think of some more, but I will add too it as I think of them. The ones listed above are the top deal breakers for me.
Tattoos or body art? So if you loved somebody and they got a tasteful tattoo on their hip or ankle or something, THAT would be a dealbreaker?
Gabe: No offense, but why should I look at "tasteful" art that is depicted on a body, when I can see tasteful art everywhere else? I think that there is absolutely nothing sexier in the world than the pure female form, sans the art. It takes all kinds to make a world, and I richly applaud those of you who love body art/tattoos. While I choose to remain "unpainted," some of my best friends have them, and that's totally their business. It would never jeopardize that friendship that I have established with them. But just from my roots and my socially conservative mold, please don't hold it against me if I dislike it on a woman, more especially one that I absolutely love and care deeply about; just as I'd honor her by choosing to remain in a natural state for her.
Well, I've been cheated on (many many years ago), and I also lived with my ex who in the past had an addiction to drugs and alchohol.
Drugs and alchohol for me are the big deal breaker. They will steal anything for their next fix, they lie to cover their tracks, you never know where they are, and they don't give a rats ass about anyone but themselves.
But, a person can also recover from both, and live productive and happy lives after.
Assault with a deadly weapon
failure to disclose that she has a penis
religious practices that involve voodoo or handling poisonous snakes
operating a meth lab out of my house
cussing in the presence of my mother
kicking my dog
Hey, Un! There's a story circulating around these parts about some card-carrying Republicans that were recently arrested for operating a home-meth lab. Would that be a deal breaker, too? Or possibly a break-up of "free enterprise?"
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"Itís not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
The people saying cheating and abuse is a deal breaker.
That's what's called a given.
A deal breaker is supposed to be what would you have a problem with in an otherwise normal, non-cheating, non-abusive person.
For example: the person smokes or they already have kids. Or they don't want kids.
If your threshold is that low that you're just looking for someone not to lie, cheat and abuse you, then....maybe you have some soul searching to do.
I think there is a difference between deal breakers and incompatibility. If someone had an issue with me being a mom, it didn't get passed the first 10 minutes of the first date. Not a deal breaker, simply just wasn't interested in wasting my time in someone I was incompatible with. Deal breakers, for me anyways. are things that happen in a relationship, and not on first dates.