Can the gentlemen of the Lounge shed some light on what it really means when you're H says he wants a motorcycle? Mine says he wants to take road trips with me on the back, which I'm down with. I have the feeling, though, that it may be the mid life thing. How can we navigate this stage gracefully? I want to be a little more financially fit before we do it. I've been asking for this for quite some time. He's very good about being budget conscious since I'm working part time/going to school for a couple semesters. And I've done my best in telling him how much he is appreciated for what he does/is doing everyday. He's assured me that he's on board with that, but spends his lunch getting info from salesmen.
You only live once..........as long as retirement is on track I don't see a problem with it at all.
I know guys that have millions and won't spend a dime no doubt their kids will inherit it all. I told my kids they expect the house and life insurance.........cause the rest will be spent!!
Midlife crisis thing?...Perhaps. He just wants to feel some excitement, and that he is asking you to ride on the back means you are still sexy to him. Sounds like a pretty good past time to spend some money on, I suggest doing whatever you both can to make it happen, and enjoy riding together!
I ride - a lot, I have ridden since I was 17. My wife rides. I have a tat. I'm 48 years old.
There is nothing illegal, immoral, or fattening about riding a motorcycle. In fact, my wife started riding about 4-5 years ago and it has done wonders for our relationship. She is more self confident, more fun, more adventurous (She did a solo 2200 mile trip last year) and more open to learning new things (she works on her own bike, I help her).
A bike isn't for everyone. But those that do ride understand that a bike is always someplace to go, always something to do, always a way to make and keep up with friends. The best adventures I have ever had were on a bike.
There is nothing sadder to me as an avid rider to hear some guy say "I would, but my wife won't let me".
Go take the MSF course. It is cheap. It's fun. It will teach you the basics of a motorcycle. And it is something you and your husband can do together. That will show him you take his request seriously.
Then, once you and he get your license endorsements, you can rent for a day, a weekend, or a trip. That will let you know if you should pursue it further. That will work around the budget issue.
Embrace dreams, live life, step out of the comfort zone.
__________________ The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?
OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.
My Wife and I ride all the time If this is his first MC I would suggest that he take the rider safety program and get some experience with just him on the bike then gradually add you My wife wanted to learn how to ride so i taught her on a dirt bike then she has progressed to the street we took the rider safety course together it was a blast Nothing is like "Being In The Wind"
Bit tongue in cheek this, but I’d guess it means he wants a motorcycle.
I think probably the big thing is “why”.
For many it’s freedom, the open road, adventure, something new to learn. I didn’t get a bike until in my 50s. Went off by myself with a compass stuck to the tank and just headed South, West etc. and all points in between. No planning routes or anything. Even had a small tent so I could camp overnight. My wife came out a couple of times, even fell asleep on the back!
For some men these things are a calling. Something we simply must do. You could even think on it as a call of the wild in it’s own way. And I think as such it’s absolutely something the man in him must do.
But it does need some caution and books plus advanced training can pay great benefits.
And what if it is a mid life thing? We all go through it but different men navigate the passage in different ways. For some it’s seriously tough and demanding, for others its all smooth and plain sailing.
Hehe... I did that as well as most of my male friends. Cars though, not motorcycles. It has more to do with where I am in life. I’ve always wanted a off-roader. But marriage, young kids, career, etc. just made it impractical. Now, I’m 44, successful, and my kids are middle school and somewhat self-sufficient. I’ve got money and space for the toys. So I got it (also part of my recovery from co-dependancy). They aren’t practical, they aren’t a ‘smart’ choice, but they sure are fun.. My wife doesn’t like it. These things don’t fit into her fantasy world. Welcome to the male fantasy world of cars, bikes and things that go boom. I’m still young enough to indulge in a teenage boy’s dream and old enough to afford it.
You only live once..........as long as retirement is on track I don't see a problem with it at all.
Not in the least. He's convinced retirement isn't going be an option.... I'm a planner (financial, schedule, etc.) I want to be as debt free as possible with $$$ in the savings.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lon
Midlife crisis thing?...Perhaps. He just wants to feel some excitement, and that he is asking you to ride on the back means you are still sexy to him. Sounds like a pretty good past time to spend some money on, I suggest doing whatever you both can to make it happen, and enjoy riding together!
With the leathers he suggested for me while I'm riding with him, I'm certain that's true. And I would really love for us to start taking that time together now that the kids are getting more independent.
The thing is, this is next in the line of "I'm getting this surfboard so I can get into surfing", "I'm getting this mountain bike so I can get back in shape for you" (he knows about my affinity for a man's "cycling thigh"), and now "I want a motorcycle". Don't get me wrong, if I could bring home a vintage Porsche 356 for him, I would in a heartbeat. We just are nowhere near where we should be financially for the bike.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Racer
Hehe... I did that as well as most of my male friends. Cars though, not motorcycles. It has more to do with where I am in life. I’ve always wanted a off-roader. But marriage, young kids, career, etc. just made it impractical. Now, I’m 44, successful, and my kids are middle school and somewhat self-sufficient. I’ve got money and space for the toys. So I got it (also part of my recovery from co-dependancy). They aren’t practical, they aren’t a ‘smart’ choice, but they sure are fun.. My wife doesn’t like it. These things don’t fit into her fantasy world. Welcome to the male fantasy world of cars, bikes and things that go boom. I’m still young enough to indulge in a teenage boy’s dream and old enough to afford it.
Agreed! I hate being the reality check, though. He rebuilt a 58 VW, I have a 58 that I want to rebuild (with ALOT of his help so I can definitely get into the fun part of the cars, bikes etc.
__________________ The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?
OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.
You can rent a bike at just about every Harley dealer once you get a license.
No need to own one or pay insurance. If after a couple of rides it doesn't pan out, no big investment. If it does pan out, you can sell it later.
and leather chaps on a woman..........yea that too.
Renting is a great idea. I'll have to see if anyone rents a Triumph, though. Maybe I'll just find a good pair of leather chaps and we'll never make it as far as getting on a bike!
Thought about getting one even had one lined up to buy . Went out for a couple of rides and is was a blast. But in the end I just felt puckered the whole time like some teenager on a cell phone or texting and driving was going to run me over.
I work around hospitals and a fair bit of the time in the ER seems all summer long everyday someone comes in there all f----- up.
dosn't matter whos fault it is your still dead or injured bad.
For me the decision was easy I rather see my kids graduate colledge and get married than take a chance of them not having a dad.
Once their on their way it will be revisited for sure.
I have a lot of biker friends and even a few dead ones.
I used to ride. I dumped a few and gave it up under protest per Wifenstein's directives. I was never all that seriously injured, a few broken bones here and there. No worse than a few farm accidents when I was a kid.
FYI my sister totaled my VW broadsiding a motorcycle and he was ok. On the other hand, I knew a gent who got sucked off his bike in the wake of a semi and spent weeks in the hospital debriding his wounds. Funny thing was that years later he was killed on his bicycle running a stop sign at night.
FYI-2 the largest %age of motorcycle head injuries are to the lower face and jaw. This is because they don't get a full face helmet. Get a full face helmet.
__________________
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16Likes
43 yr old Man, Motorcycles and Tattoos 
And I would really love for us to start taking that time together now that the kids are getting more independent. 
so I can definitely get into the fun part of the cars, bikes etc.
