If you love your wife and she still loves you, then you can make your marriage successful. I've been married 20 years and I'm going to be honest with you regarding what it's like for a woman to have three small children. IT IS INCREDIBLY DEMANDING AND EXHAUSTING, though I'm sure she wouldn't change it for the world. My advice to you, if you want to get the best out of your wife, the best thing you can do is be an engaged father to your children. That said, it goes way beyond you going to work and putting a roof over their head and food on the table. It means you help her with the day to day grind of raising three small children. Baths, diapers, feedings, tying shoes, getting them dressed, you get the idea. Have date night once a week and stick to it. Go away without the kids for the weekend a few times throughout the year. If you leave your family to be with the OW you will feel guilty. The guilt WILL affect your relationship with the OW, it will cause problems and discord between you. These are going to be some tough, demanding years, you chose to have three small children, which means your wife doesn't have the same amount of time and energy to give to you as she did before each successive child came along, that doesn't mean she loves you less or differently than she did before, each child places more demands on her, I wish men would get this. Your wife needs you now, more than ever --don't let her down.
Wow! Well if your wife don't care and wants to stay together only for the kids then she wouldn't give a crap about whether you talk to the OW.Sooo even tho you love your wife why are you still with her? Wow! So the reason is because you are afraid she will kill you. Hmm..how old are you? You do not sound like someone with an adult brain. Why not get this divorce over with? Neither one of you really wanna be together so why are you still married? Gosh I hope you haven't shared any STDs with her or your OW. My advice is leave your wife and the OW and take some time to be alone till you grow up. Posted via Mobile Device
People have to justify everything they do. Naturally, because you've been cheating on your wife, you have to justify that by convincing yourself that your marriage is crap, etc, etc. People who molest kids also find ways to justify their behavior.
1.) Your wife doesn't deserve a divorce, she has done you no wrong.
2.) You say you love her, and you have spent 17 years together.
3.) You have 3 small children who will be hurt if you divorce.
On the other hand you have a woman who you think might be the one, frankly you wouldn't know for sure until after you divorced your wife (and hurt your kids).
Stay with your wife, keep away from the OW, and work through whatever is bothering you in this marriage.
Frankly with 3 small children in the house I'm not surprised the sex life has suffered. She is likely exhausted. You need to do what you can to help her feel energized and feel like a woman and sexy again... not a woman who is constantly needed by 3 little children.
Ok... I've been married for 8 years...My wife and I dated for 9 years before I popped the question. I've known the OW for over 15 years and she is everything I love in a woman. Is she just my fantasy or do I love her... Three kids with my wife 7,5,2 very little sex. My wife has told me she is only with me for the kids... I feel the same and have told her that. WE still walk around like we love each other but i find myself wanting to be with the OW.
What kind of woman carries on with a married man for 15 years? Ask yourself that. Is she really "Ms. Right?" because that would imply that she's marriage material, and you admitted that you don't like being married and you have never been faithful. Why would things be different with the OW? You are too selfish for marriage. Do your wife a favor and divorce her, and pray that your kids even want to have a relationship with you. You say you'll miss them, well maybe you should have thought about that when you decided to have children with your wife and you were banging some skanky ***** on the side.
Thanks everybody for the feedback...
The facts of the matter are.
1. My wife has forbid me to talk to this OW yet I still make time to be with her and do get aways and lunch, dinner and sex. I met the OW years ago while I was a manager and from day 1 I wanted her. We have been off and on for years... My wife is not aware of the full nature of my past relationship with the OW she just knows that we were friends and I was "once" attracted to her. A few years ago my wife found her number in my phone and I told her that I had been in contact and maintained a friendship. My wife told me to never contact her again and as far as my wife is concerned I haven't spoken to the OW since. The OW and I have done long periods where nothing happens between us but recently our actions have intensified. We've become more brazen. We are planning getaways and meeting in very nice hotels for our encounters, we go to lunch often. My wife of course is not aware of any of this and she would kill me if she found out. But, I have to admit I've never been faithful and now It just seems I'm not happy being married. But, man I love my kids and the thought of not seeing them and being there for them scares the mess out of me. I didn't have a father growing up. sorry for the rant but I need help. BTW i do love my wife.
Thegodbody plus ^ Gotta be a troll.
Or are you for real? No way you love your wife. But you are at least immensely self-centred, egocentric and possibly even narcissistic.
How would you feel if you discovered your wife had been in an affair for the past twenty years? That the past two decades of your life have been a complete and utter lie.
How would you feel if your affair partner had been seeing another man as well as you for the past twenty years?
In fact how would you feel if both of the women in your life had slept with other men while in a relationship with you?
Do both your wife and your affair partner a favour and drop them both. Take great care of your children and your ex wife while they become of age. And go and see a psychiatrist to discover who you really are inside and work on yourself to make yourself a better man.
Let me give you a little insight into what you have done.
I have two friends who both discovered their husbands in long term affairs. One husband’s affair was for over twenty years. My friend needed two years of serious, intense psychotherapy before she could start functioning again as a “normal” woman. The second discovered her husband in an affair of thirteen years. Again she needed extensive, intense psychotherapy and was so seriously affected that she was actually sectioned on a number of occasions.
Have I got through to you. Have I got through to the seriousness of what you have done? Is there a conscience inside of you somewhere? A sense of morality? Of right and wrong?
Let me give you a little insight into what you have done.
I have two friends who both discovered their husbands in long term affairs. One husband’s affair was for over twenty years. My friend needed two years of serious, intense psychotherapy before she could start functioning again as a “normal” woman. The second discovered her husband in an affair of thirteen years. Again she needed extensive, intense psychotherapy and was so seriously affected that she was actually sectioned on a number of occasions.
Have I got through to you. Have I got through to the seriousness of what you have done? Is there a conscience inside of you somewhere? A sense of morality? Of right and wrong?
Thanks everybody for the feedback...
The facts of the matter are.
1. My wife has forbid me to talk to this OW yet I still make time to be with her and do get aways and lunch, dinner and sex. I met the OW years ago while I was a manager and from day 1 I wanted her. We have been off and on for years... My wife is not aware of the full nature of my past relationship with the OW she just knows that we were friends and I was "once" attracted to her. A few years ago my wife found her number in my phone and I told her that I had been in contact and maintained a friendship. My wife told me to never contact her again and as far as my wife is concerned I haven't spoken to the OW since. The OW and I have done long periods where nothing happens between us but recently our actions have intensified. We've become more brazen. We are planning getaways and meeting in very nice hotels for our encounters, we go to lunch often. My wife of course is not aware of any of this and she would kill me if she found out. But, I have to admit I've never been faithful and now It just seems I'm not happy being married. But, man I love my kids and the thought of not seeing them and being there for them scares the mess out of me. I didn't have a father growing up. sorry for the rant but I need help. BTW i do love my wife.
I highly disagree, you may love your wife like a sister but if you have never been faithful, so you don't reallt love her like she deserves. You don't derserve her.
Do her a favor and get divorced, she deserves to know most of her life was a scam and move on.
Your behavior throughout your marriage is disgusting. Why did you marry your wife if the OW was so attractive to you in the first place? I feel so sorry for your wife. No wonder she only stays married to you "for the kids." Don't you feel that on some deep level she knows that you have not fully and completely been in this marriage with her and committed only to her? There has always been the OW taking your time, energy and emotional support that you should have been giving to your wife. What a prize the OW sounds like too! Carrying on with a married man all this time. You two deserve each other.
Let your wife go so she can move the h*** on away from you. Wasting all of those good years with you? I hope you are ashamed of yourself and when she finds out, that she can heal from this whole sham of a marriage.
One other thing: You are not a good example of a father. I hope you do not have any daughters that in the future would be treated by their husbands the way you have treated their mother.
Thanks everybody for the feedback...
The facts of the matter are.
1. My wife has forbid me to talk to this OW yet I still make time to be with her and do get aways and lunch, dinner and sex. I met the OW years ago while I was a manager and from day 1 I wanted her. We have been off and on for years... My wife is not aware of the full nature of my past relationship with the OW she just knows that we were friends and I was "once" attracted to her. A few years ago my wife found her number in my phone and I told her that I had been in contact and maintained a friendship. My wife told me to never contact her again and as far as my wife is concerned I haven't spoken to the OW since. The OW and I have done long periods where nothing happens between us but recently our actions have intensified. We've become more brazen. We are planning getaways and meeting in very nice hotels for our encounters, we go to lunch often. My wife of course is not aware of any of this and she would kill me if she found out. But, I have to admit I've never been faithful and now It just seems I'm not happy being married. But, man I love my kids and the thought of not seeing them and being there for them scares the mess out of me.
Not only are you a coward by staying married under this disgusting cloak of evil, but you're on a runaway freight train heading for the end of the line whether you believe it or not. Think you're not gonna get caught one day??? Oh you will... so your concerns about seeing your kids all the time are pretty much irrelevant because that's where you're headed anyway.
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Re: When the OW is Ms right. Guys Help 
