Cheaters are exceptionally self-centred, not giving much of a damn about who gets hurt as long as they get what they want.
Narcissists are the ultimate in self-centred people.
Of course there’s a correlation between narcissists and cheaters in their self-centred ways.
You wont se a narcissist with either guilt or remorse or to ever apologise and ask for forgiveness, whereas you do see some cheaters with both guilt and remorse. So of course not all cheaters are narcissists.
I don't think this is always the case... or even usually the case. Sometimes people simply feel neglected in their marriages and cheating is a passive aggressive response... or they stop caring because they perceive the other person doesn't really care for them or isn't meeting their needs. Everyone is selfish to some extent - we all have needs that must be met to be in a happy relationship.
I think the majority of cheating boils down to simple dissatisfaction with the marriage and lack of productive communication. Its easier to not care about someone getting hurt when you feel they've abandoned, neglected or otherwise hurt you.
Me, I have a lot of narcissistic qualities - I need to be the center of someone's world among other things, I lose a sense of empathy sometimes when I feel wronged but it usually returns. However I don't consider myself superior or any of that other narcissistic stuff and I'm generally very generous (unselfish) and permitting of things I don't want or like. I've worked hard in the past to make my wife feel there was nothing more important than her, and I've given up many things along the way. The one thing I can't deal with is being #2, 3 or 4 on someone's list of priorities, when I had then as my top priority. Bitterness sets in and all bets are off.
Most of the people I know who've cheated... not so narcissistic. Depressed and feeling abandoned by a spouse who is "present but not there" is more like it.
I can certainly vouch for the damage an affair does to children, especially when it is a daughter seeing her father cheat.
My father is one of my best friends. However, his infidelity and lies led to me having severe difficulities trusting men. I have attended therapy for this issue, but this is a stain that won't wash away. The irrational and defensive part of my mind still believes the "all men are pigs" rhetoric which was fed to me since age 12. I can't even trust my husband.
Of course, the bad experiences that I had with men when I was dating didn't help either. My low self esteem attracted men who were controlling and emotionally abusive. I'm just saying that all the suspicion started with my father's cheating.
My father is one of my best friends. However, his infidelity and lies led to me having severe difficulities trusting men. I have attended therapy for this issue, but this is a stain that won't wash away. The irrational and defensive part of my mind still believes the "all men are pigs" rhetoric which was fed to me since age 12. I can't even trust my husband.
Sounds more like the fault of the person feeding you the "All men are pigs" dogma than your father.
Heard this throughout my life, father was a cheater too, and... frankly got sick of the generalizations I've heard from both sides so i started thinking along these lines...
"Men and women may have different body parts, different levels of hormones, ect ect ect but we all have a brain that rules over all of these so there is no men do this or women do this... it's all people CHOOSE to do this or that..."
Yeah I probably don't make sense since i rambled lol.
Sounds more like the fault of the person feeding you the "All men are pigs" dogma than your father.
My mom was understandably bitter and hurt when my father cheated. She repeated "all men are pigs/evil/liars" many times. I agree that she shouldn't have said such things to an impressionable child, but it was my father's infidelity which sparked such an angry outlook. His actions led to the bitterness, so I blame my dad.
All of the men in my extended and immediate family were proud cheaters. Can you understand how that can lead me to think that all men will sleep around? I was terrified of marriage when I was younger because I didn't want to end up like my mom and my aunts-tirelessly doing all the housework for men who were not faithful.
Like I said, it is one thing to hear that men are pigs and quite another to experience terrible treatment. I am certainly damaged by the predatory actions of some men I have been with. These monsters took advantage of my naivete and low self esteem. I was abused emotionally and sexually by these people. When I see wives in long distance marriages or with husbands who are often away, I can't help but think that the women are incredibly naive to trust that the husbands aren't cheating. I am just too cynical for that kind of faith.
Don't get me wrong but how in the world do you trust most men out there..so many jerks..so glad myu daughter found a good bf. It's a real worry! Sorry guys, not all of u are jerks but if I was ever to divorce (hope that never happens) but if I did I would keep my wedding ring on. After I was lied to and deceived by another man and all my ex bfs from high school, not many good ones oout there. My husband is the best tho Posted via Mobile Device
I get that some of you don't trust a certain gender.. but like i said.. to me.. those jerkish, predatory, scumbag behaviors are made by both genders because they CHOOSE to do so. Therefore I have a hard time trusting people in general.
I certainly agree that women can be just as cruel. It's just that I do not have romantic relationships with women, so I have no experience with females in that context.
I certainly agree that women can be just as cruel. It's just that I do not have romantic relationships with women, so I have no experience with females in that context.
I`ve had more than my fair share of relationships and I`ve been no saint but up to this point my wife is the only woman who has been faithful to me...at least that I know of.
So I catch myself thinking the same thing at times about women.
I`m just glad I catch myself doing it though.
It is hard not to think that way when it`s been your experience.
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Re: When the OW is Ms right. Guys Help 
