Since I started this thread I feel like not opening another one but rather posting here.
You know, I used to be a major nice guy, very weak, always trying to please her, etc.
Now it's almost all gone. I am not being a doormat any more.
However, she still has this tendency to "fix" me. She read the surrendered wife - which in my opinion is a fantastic book! - and thinks that the author is just wrong
of course she does, because this book is against everything she does. She just believes that her job is to also always "be on my case" and tell me what to do or not.
Add to this some emotional issues - like whenever she is angry talking really not nice and personal attacks - and you will understand why I have a very hard time being intimate with her. I am not talking about the physical sense - that we do quite often, I am talking about me really letting go, being able to share my true feelings, etc.
Not sure what's the point of this post, maybe I just need to vent. BTW, I hate the replies of "just realize who she is and leave her if you don't like it". I don't stay in my marriage because I am forced to; I stay because I believe that people should do everything they can to make the marriage work, and because I am a huge believer in a family unit.