No, I haven't seen this person. But based on past behavior my wife would rather omit the truth meaning she would not tell me this whole situation or she would tell me the truth. She would not lie straight out. That is not her style. I have never caught her lying before.
Oh .... well then ask your wife if you can have her number, and if she's hot, because apparently ... 'that's just what people do.' And you would like to meet your wife's hot lesbian friend.
Work on the humor piece. Do not rest your self-esteem within the hands of your wife, especially if she is prone to dropping it.
So this morning, So yesteday after work my wife and I were driving around and she mentioned how this person has been texting her non stop all day. Saying stuff like, "hey, you havent got back with me about lunch, I would love to have lunch with your kids and mine, why havent you responded, Where have you been, You are the same ole person smh". This person sent all these text and my wife didn't respond. Now, One thing i know about my wife is she hates people texting her back to back when she hasn't responded. After waking up I casually mentioned what is up with her and this person? Why did she want to get into contact with her. I asked why did she give her, her number? I said I do not understand. She answered surprised and said this is what people do. She was an old freind and she just wanted to meetup. So, I guess my wife didnt see anything wrong with it. My wife just wanted to be friends. So, when my wife was making me breakfast she told me she got another text late last night from this person just saying " bye". My wife said whatever, this person is acting to weird anyway and I just laughed.
So, I guess the lesson I learned in this whole situation is I need to trust my wife. No we haven't talked about boundaries, but 9 out of 10 times my overreaction is from things and situations I make up in my own mind. Not to sweat the small stuff like her running into an old co-worker.
******If it was a guy, this would have been very different.
Interesting. The lesson I got is that you need to communicate with your wife. Not saying you should not trust her. How about you have an ongoing dialogue and talk about this kind of stuff. You know, whatever stuff. That way there is less tension about things. Stay plugged in. This does not seem to be reason to disengage. That is my point.
You were also validated that there was an issue. You gut was right. The lady was creepy.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
This is one area I am having the most difficulty. Valid and Correct. example... My wife teasing me about something I said may cause me to to be insecure. Me saying, "hey, you hurt my feelings" is not a valid response because it make me look like I have thin skin and weak. I have a hard time determining when I should say something because of my own built up fear and insecurity and when a situation arises that I should say something. I tend to over think these things. Is there a rule of thumb to go by.
Yup. Speak your mind. Stop the fear. Work on your confidence.
Why guy things do you do that build your confidence?
Do you work out? Are you really good at your work? What make you special?
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
A) Honesty is the best policy... the more the better
B) Honesty needs to be spoken in a loving, non-confrontational sort of way.
Between those two, whatever it is you are thinking and/or feeling is automatically valid. It may later prove to be incorrect but last I checked "being wrong" was a fact of the human condition.
Let's look at it the other way. So suppose I had some important feeling that I did NOT tell Carol. What that means is that I am hiding my very self from her. She's not in a relationship with me. She's in a relationship with some fictional character of hers and my devising. I prefer real relationships based upon... well... reality.
If your wife (or anyone else) attacks you for speaking your mind in an open, non-confrontational way then THEY are the ones who are in the wrong... period. At that point, you may consider your wife to be your enemy rather than your partner. Then you may do whatever it is you do with enemies.
I agree. But I would drive myself crazy ans sick having constant negative assumptions. I am trying to get over that now. So for now, I will assume my wife is not doing anything she shouldn't be doing until I have proof otherwise.
Isnt that the only way to stay sane?
The bottom line is that as long as your wife does not have a bisexual orientation and assuming that the other person behind this story is A FEMALE indeed, then there's nothing to worry about.
I agree about the humor side. Throw it to your wife out there and see her reaction.
Yup. Speak your mind. Stop the fear. Work on your confidence.
Why guy things do you do that build your confidence?
Do you work out? Are you really good at your work? What make you special?
I do not do anything for myself. I try to volunteer every once in a while. But no physical activity. I am very good at my job. That was one of the things my wife liked about me so much when we first meet. I am very assertive there. But at home, I am very laid back. I do not take much initiative, I have been working on this a lot and it has gotten much better. I did tell her when we first meet, I like to relax at home. So, I kinda let her take charge which i am learning was a big mistake.
The bottom line is that as long as your wife does not have a bisexual orientation and assuming that the other person behind this story is A FEMALE indeed, then there's nothing to worry about.
I agree about the humor side. Throw it to your wife out there and see her reaction.
Well the humor part is what seems to be working. We talked about it yesterday after work and we just laughed about it. This person asked her for a picture for her caller ID. I was teasing my wife and telling her this is what I would do If i was trying to get at a girl. Thats how it starts. My wife thought it was funny and we just went back and forth about what this lady would like to do with her. She told me she wasnt going to send her a picture. My wife told me this morning she told her she dosent want a picture of her ugly self. (my wife is a pretty woman.) So, my wife also mentioned she wonders how the woman is going to react when she finds out she is married. My wife said she wants to see the look on her face to see if this lady is going to give some weird look. So this lets me believe my wife just wants to be friends and nothing more. My wife told me this unprompted. So, the humor and me acting like it dosent bother me seems to be working.
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Re: When to speak up and let things slide???? 
