Does anyone remember the episode of "Everybody loves Raymond" where Ray thinks Debra got a boob job while he was out of town, but she didn't. She was mad when he got excited thinking of bigger boobies (she had socks in her bra).
He tells her he loves her either way, and she tells him the same, even with his flaws and he is surprised to hear she thinks he has flaws. HEHE
She tells him it doesn't matter because she sees him as a husband, father and loves him, finds him sexy, wouldnt change him etcc....
And he thinks about it for a minute and tells her " Thanks hun but screw that I wanna be a hottie!"
Thats kinda how I feel, I am SOOO GLAD my husband accepts me for who I am and I him (we are no longer shy about nakedness). But, sometimes, you just want to be a hottie, not to get attention, but just so other people can say "Wow she looks great for her age" (male or female people mind you) or think "That 'hubs' is a lucky man" You know as a fellow perfectionist you feel like you are no longer the "best version" of yourself and sometimes that is just a hard pill to swallow.
I was once like you but I have moved past it. I am doing well it and I work out and eat well. (wear a size 10 so its not like I am obese but was a size 6 BK -before kids)
Karma - you can believe your husband without him even saying a word. Try this, when he gets out of shower join him in the bathroom with only a nightie on and when he is looking, just slip it off so he has a full frontal view, then approach him and give him a long kiss. Just a kiss. I will guarantee you that another part of his body will tell you immediately how he feels about you naked!