Does he really want to see me naked? - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 10:46 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

That is true- I've always felt like everything must look perfect or close to it, in order to be considered attractive. (I am an obvious perfectionist.)
I never even imagined that he wouldn't zero in on the things I don't like. It's amazing to think he might actually enjoy the whole package.
The thought of just standing there, naked, before him & allowing him to look at & touch me, first off absolutely scares me, then, as I get more used to the idea, I probably would become really emotional. But I'd feel relieved, like wow, he's not running away/cringing/losing his boner, lol!

When I tell him he doesn't want to see this anyways, he doesn't really say anything..he doesn't like to push the issue..it would be awesome if he did because then I might think he DOES really want to see me anyway- but he won't pressure me at all, so it's kind of both good/bad.
I was 18 when we had my oldest daughter & I just turned 34. So it's been a very long time since I've been comfortable in my own skin.

My biggest problem is that as soon as I feel my courage building, I'll start the comparison game- there are so many gorgeous bodies out there & I wind up feeling sorry for my H that he has to be 'stuck' with this one. I've said I have trouble believing him- although I don't say to him I don't believe what he's saying, I feel as if he is being nice because he has to be- he's my husband(:

Everything being said by all the incredible guys/girls here is REALLLLY opening my eyes. I know you all are not here to lie or sugar coat~
I know it's silly, but it helps me believe my H so much more..(which I KNOW I should anyways..)
I love all of your thoughts & true feelings on this & appreciate them very much!
It's all very eye-opening & possibly life-changing for me..& us! (-:
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post #62 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 11:05 AM
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

I have always told my wife this.

"If you could live with my brain for 10 seconds, you would never have another issue with what you think I feel"

The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?

OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.
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post #63 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 11:09 AM
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

He absolutely wants to see you naked!!! I can honestly say that seeing my naked wife every morning is the most beautiful sight I see all day. And, those stretch marks, scars, etc that you perceive to be "flaws" are quite sexy to most men.
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post #64 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 11:10 AM
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

Tell that chattering monkey in your head to take a hike! Resolve to no longer listen to him. It is folly to compare yourself to others. There is always someone prettier, richer, more whatever it is that you want. Do you look at your husband's flaws so critically? No, you love him for who he is. Let him love you for who you are. There is only 1 you. Do not devalue yourself by being a perfectionist.
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post #65 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 11:10 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

God- that's awesome- how I WISH I knew what he thought-
I'm getting a much better, clearer, less skewed idea of what it may be, thanks to you & the others!!
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post #66 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 11:11 AM
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

People ask silly questions on TAM.

"Does my husband really want to see me naked?"

Seriously?
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post #67 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 11:14 AM
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

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Originally Posted by karma*girl View Post
God- that's awesome- how I WISH I knew what he thought-
I'm getting a much better, clearer, less skewed idea of what it may be, thanks to you & the others!!
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He is telling you what he thinks.

You need to put you "believe him" ears on.

The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?

OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.
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post #68 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 11:25 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

I've been thinking about that- listening to believe- I'm working on that big-time.. He seems much more at ease & seems to enjoy complimenting me more..
I notice him watching my reaction to what he says..he's in tune, for sure.
And yea, it IS a pesky a** monkey that needs to get lost, jeeez!
There is only One me & I'm pretty cool in loads of ways.
I need to remember that! It never occurred to me that he could think of my cringe-points as not a big deal.
He has said things like I don't even notice, care, etc...but I never could believe him.
>>>I'm reaching a turning point
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post #69 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 11:36 AM
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

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Originally Posted by karma*girl View Post
I've been thinking about that- listening to believe- I'm working on that big-time.. He seems much more at ease & seems to enjoy complimenting me more..
I notice him watching my reaction to what he says..he's in tune, for sure.
And yea, it IS a pesky a** monkey that needs to get lost, jeeez!
There is only One me & I'm pretty cool in loads of ways.
I need to remember that! It never occurred to me that he could think of my cringe-points as not a big deal.
He has said things like I don't even notice, care, etc...but I never could believe him.
>>>I'm reaching a turning point
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Awesome! When you figure it out, please talk to my wife. So hot, yet she's always covering up and talking about how gross she is.
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post #70 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 11:48 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

Heartsbeating, thank you so much..I'm at the gym right now, doing cardio & tearing up, lol! Wow! That is a wonderful story you shared, I am touched!! I'm very much like you & will be a goofball when I'm not thinking about it- that's my nature as well. It's when I start thinking too much that I retreat. My H says to quit thinking so much!
I know it would be a major emotional release for me to confirm that he's all good with me. I'm also working on myself from the inside out- the self-worth part.
I don't have a troubled past - I've just developed my own body image thing on my own.
But I'm slowly coming out of it..being here has helped me even further, to realize how it's all in my head & to be accepting of myself, insecurities & all
...sigh..thank you, thank you!!
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post #71 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 12:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

COguy- ugh- I know how your wife feels. Not that it's valid, but in her head it is-
wish she & I could talk..we could encourage eachother- I love that you see her as hot~It's so interesting- that gap between what you see & what she sees- girls see details, guys, the bigger picture..it can really stink.
She is probably like me- I don't understand what people are looking at when they look- I always look behind me, lol!
I'm decent looking, but wish I saw what others did.
We see ourselves through completely different filters...work in progress..
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post #72 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 12:16 PM
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

Oh, karma girl, I struggle with this, too. I've probably lost hundreds of pounds in my lifetime, but it's the same 10 pounds I keep gaining and losing. And it makes me feel unattractive and unsexy, despite my guy telling me that I'm sexy and hot. It's really hard to let it go and relax and enjoy instead of feeling self-conscious about it.

I will say, though, in those times when I can let it go, it's such a wonderful feeling.

I don't have any good advice - just wanted to let you know I understand how you feel.
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post #73 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 12:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

norajane, thank you for your understanding It feels very comforting to know I am not alone in my struggle!
U should stick around here for a while- it's been amazingly eye-opening- so helpful in regard to seeing ourselves without the false illusions.
Best of luck to you!!
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post #74 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 12:36 PM
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

Ok any of you self conisious ladies need my opinion you can email me your naked photos and I will ease you insecurities.

its a tough jobs but i'm willing to take one for the team.
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post #75 of 262 (permalink) Old 05-01-2012, 12:45 PM
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Re: Does he really want to see me naked?

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Originally Posted by Tall Average Guy View Post
My wife went through three C-sections to have our kids. Her stomach is nothing like it was or what she wants it to be. And yet it is so very sexy to me. It is a constant reminder of her gift to me of our children - what she went through so that we could have our three wonderful kids. It is a part of her and our life together, and makes her that much more attractive to me.
I don't have C section scars but extra weight and a stretched belly from our 9.5 lb son!

My husband says the same... he doesn't mind the flaws because they are a reminder to him of our children. Don't worry so much and appreciate the hubby you have, you got a good one like me. I walk around naked in front of him all the time because he likes it and deserves it because he treats me like a queen.
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