tacoma

I`ve said this as well when my wife was depreciating herself.

"If we could switch places for just one night you`d never question my desire for you again."

I don`t think they can understand it really.

karma*girl

reset- you are amazing- 9.5lbs! It's amazing how our female bodies work & can actually grow people & nourish them, inside & outside of our bodies- I still am amazed at the thought!
No matter how many kids I have or how common it is, it's so miraculous. So to look at my body & appreciate it for how it's worked so well is another good way of looking at it.

chillymorn, you're pretty smooth aren't you?? lol! Nice try!

It also surprises me to hear how guys still think of their women as sexy, although their women may act otherwise.
Once these ladies get 'up to speed' with how you're really thinking, and they begin to feel sexy/act sexy, etc...
I imagine that would turn up the attraction level, right?
Because I'm working on this...
Posted via Mobile Device

chillymorn

na not really just a perv! but I accept myself as I am.

karma*girl

Misty's dad & tacoma- I love that you say that to your wives~ even if you think she doesn't understand that it's true, it's sooo important to keep it up.
Somewhere they're internalizing it & it's helping them, though it may not appear that way.
Women hear so often how visual men are, so you can imagine my concern when I know I don't appear the way he would hand- pick if he could.
It makes it really hard to relax, knowing what you see is important to you.. So when it's less than ideal, we hideaway..although this is not what we really WANT to do.
We WANT to rip our clothes off (& yours) & dance around, jump you as often as possible..(well, I do anyway & NOT fear you're going to be thinking - 'Ick!'
Ha!! Sounds nuts but it's always what keeps me from being my true self~
I think I'm learning that my view is more of an illusion than reality..
Posted via Mobile Device

karma*girl

..chillymorn- I could learn a thing or 2 from you! ...
except the perv-part- Believe it or not, I've already got that down
Posted via Mobile Device

nachopenguin

This thread is a chubby, self-conscious wife's dream come true.

karma*girl

haha...I was hoping others would benefit too! I've been wanting to ask for so long- very glad I did
The best part is knowing noone has any reason to fake the comments here- it's all honest, as far as I can tell.
Posted via Mobile Device

chillymorn

attitude is everything.

way back long ago I dated the cutiest chubby girl who was so self conifident and sexy. she was freaking HOT. freckels and big brown eyes.

maybe too much info but I sometimes rub one out thinking back about her. and that was 20 yrs ago.


by all means this dose not mean to not take care of your self. by be realistic also.

nice777guy

Confidence and enthusiasm! Very sexy!!!

__________________
“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity!" - Carlin

Jeff/BC

Two points:

FIRST: Carol is a 58 year old woman not a 21 year old swimsuit model. If my brain worked that way, it'd be easy for me to see a gajillion "cringe points". But that's not what my eyes see. My eyes see the sexiest woman in the world... or at least the sexiest one I've ever met. At least my visual sexuality is a lot more complicated than some measurements could ever hope to capture. Love changes a lot.

SECOND: Let's talk your husband. Really, seriously, and objectively, is he Brad Pitt? Does he have a chiselled physique and washboard abs and expensive silk suits to drape it all in? I'm guessing probably not which means your eyes are willing to be pretty subjective when you look at him. Why shouldn't he be the same?

norajane

Because we hear over and over how visual men are. As women, we know from puberty that our physical appearance is HUGE in attracting men. So when we don't "measure up" in any way to the ideal, we cannot help but feel anxious.

karma*girl

^ this. Unfortunately too true. Then, we wind up feeling the opposite of what our guys want us to feel..because we don't look much like what guys drool over, it's a confusing message..
Posted via Mobile Device

karma*girl

Jeff- You're right! I should accept that my H views me with the same loving eyes I view him through.
He is very attractive though- and yes, I let him know!
Posted via Mobile Device

tacoma

Perfectly understandable BUT..

I was a player before marriage, got more than my fair share of female attention.

I often passed over the sexy model type for the cute chubby chick with the confident bubbly, dare I say, "****y" attitude and soft curves that never ended.

Experience told me I`d have more fun, in bed and out of it.

Granted I think I`m a bit different than the average guy concerning what attracts me but I can`t be alone.

I`ve desired many girls whose body image is outside what our culture states is desirable and more than enjoyed myself by getting lost in those "imperfect" yet beautiful bodies.

The problem women with poor body image is that they think in absolutes concerning whats desirable for a man and whats not.

It`s true many of my wifes "imperfections" are what attract me to her.
It sounds so loving and intimate to say my wifes c-section scar reminds me of what she`s given me and is attractive to me.

The truth is it`s not just "loving and intimate", it`s also primal and makes me hard for her.

My wife is taking a nap lying on her belly in the nude with nothing covering her right beside me as I type this.

Does she look like Angelina Jolie?
Hell no.
Has Angelina Jolie ever gotten me as excited as she does regularly just looking at her?
Hell no!!

I know who I`d be on top of if they were both here offering it to me right now and it isn`t the cultural sex symbol.

COguy

Yes men are "visual", it doesn't mean we are picky.

Just like boobs. Men like boobs, so women run around to the plastic surgeons thinking that big boobs are what everyone wants to see.

No..... Guys like boobs. Big ones, small ones, medium ones.

Guys like naked women. They don't have to be perfect, just naked.

Your husband thinks you're hot, don't argue with him.