She says how fat and disgusting she is. How her skin is stretched out and flabby and disgusting. I tell her she's hot and beautiful and I love her body, and she tells me i'm just desperate or weird or saying it because I have to.
I think her body type is perfect. just the right anoint of curves, great body. Her stretch marks I never think about unless she is jiggling or pulling at them. She totally turns me on. I wish she would just accept my comments at face value. I love seeing her naked.
I feel exactly as your wife does, exactly.
I see what my H looks at and it is not women who look like me.
I see his posters, calendars, and magazines, and the women in them do not look like me.
I see who he does the head snap for in the mall, and those women do not look like me, either.
I know he thinks I am overweight, so why would I want to inflict that unsightliness on him? It is painful for me to know what I look like and what I looked like 40 years ago. Why would he want to see me naked even though I am not of the appearance he finds ideal and arousing.
Being a woman married 40 years, I have a long history of what he finds physically attractive. Being 60, I no longer represent those things. It is like I am a Ford and he would prefer a Jaguar. He can't afford the Jag, so he is stuck with the old, reliable Ford. Doesn't help to know that he still covets the Jag, either.
It is just hard for women. We are told over and over that that men are hardwired to be attracted to a certain appearance and hip to waist ratio in women. Actresses and models meet that requirement, as do a lot of young women looking to attract a mate. As we age, we look less and less like what men are hardwired to want. I don't see my H looking longingly at Kathy Bates, but he would sure do the head snap for Zoe Dechanel. It is very confusing and frustrating for women. And yet, we are supposed to believe you think we are beautiful naked even if we are a bit overweight or out of shape.