LFC

My wife takes her phone evrywhere with her . If she has a bath she takes it in the bathroom .its never on charge where I can see it . It is next to her side of the bed at night in her jeans pocket and she wakes up if I go near it. She got a few late night texts a while back and when I asked her about them she said it was the lady she cleans for . She has said. I can look at her phone anytime . Her behaviour is making me paranoid I don't want to come across as weak or needy to her so I dropped the subject and have not brought it up .for weeks. But it still plays on my mind

chillymorn

trust your gut!

have some balls and ask to see it if she balks then somethings amiss.

make it a boundry and enforce it. If she belittle you about it then she dosn't respect you. and who wants to married to someone who dosn't respect you!

Onmyway

Take her up on her offer of letting you see her phone anytime you need to, some people are just like that with their cell phones. Has she always been like this or is it a new behavior?

MrK

Just look at the bill and see who's calling/texting.

Toffer

LFC,

This is a possible RED FLAG if this is new behavior for her.

Do some reading in the Coping With Indelity section for some other Red Flags

If you can get a copy of the cell phone bill (either on line or paper copy from the carrier) I'd do it and review her number of texts and calls for the last few months and look for a large number of texts and calls to a particular number.

Good luck!

Runs like Dog

Is it passcode locked?

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CallaLily

I do this too. Its out of habit actually. Whether I'm dating someone or not, I still do it.

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Runs like Dog

The ringer on my wife's phone you can hear from the street. And it plays this whole long boring melody. And it rings, oh, 90x a day. And in case you're curious, 'unlimited' actually isn't. The phone company(s) send me nasty notes when either of her two lines goes over 5,000 minutes a month. So does she take her phone with her? Yes.

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LFC

This is new behaviour for her,
phone is pay as you go so I cannot check any billing . She has no one that needs to contact her in an emergency . I would ask to see it but she always deleted her messages anyway . So am beginning to see this as a safety net in case she fails to delete anything .
A couple of weeks ago I asked her what she had been doing in the day while I was working and she accused me of checking up on her (which I prob was).she only works about 6 hours a week and when I mention about her getting a job she gets all huffy . Could be.down to her lack of confidence .

sohereiam

I would be weary and speak to her. Let her know your concerns,.
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LFC

I have read that this will make her.cover.her.tracks better if she is cheating .

CallaLily

Do you want to know or don't you?

You stated she told you that you could look at her phone anytime. If that is so, then next time her phone is laying around where you can get to it, and shes in the same room, pick it up and look at it. If she has nothing to hide, then she will have no problem with this, especially if she told you that you could.

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Mavash.

I take my phone everywhere and I'm not cheating. I suggest you breathe, take a step back and observe. Look for other evidence before you panic.

Tommyboy

I understand your pain with this. This use to bother me all the time until I learned to trust my wife. I am doing everything I can in the relationship and since I was not doing anything wrong, I stopped assuming she was. She also told me I could look through her phone. I realized I felt this way because I didn't want her looking through my phone. I didn't have anything in there, I just liked my privacy. She also use to take her phone with her everywhere she went. When I stopped inquiring about it and acted like it didn't bother me, she stopped.

Lon

LFC, you said this is new behavior for her, and when you check you notice she has deleted messages. These are red flags.

As for phone use in general, I too have become very attached to mine, it goes everywhere with me, its my email, texts, calendar and internet all in one. I also receive alerts via text on a frequent basis and I delete those as soon as I read them but I keep all my other text messages, i even sync them with my gmail account so I have a permanent record of everything I've sent and received.

Have you noticed any other signs that may be red flags? new underwear? New perfume? Extra fuel consumption in her car? more girls nights out? Change/improvement in diet or exrcise? new clothes/accessories?

If so then look at installing a voice activated recorder, VAR in her car or wherever she spends private time talking on her phone. Also if she ever backs up her phone to a computer see if you can use spyware to look at the backup logs - her deleted messages may still be there. Or consider hiring a PI.

If you are having a hunch you need to alleviate that soon or you will go crazy and if she is innocent of any wrongdoing the sooner you can get to the truth the better for you both.