This is a question about oral sex on a woman.
My GF used to love the way I gave her oral sex, she loved it, no complaints @ all. Fact is I have never had one complaint til now.
This past weekend my GF took me to a hotel, I gave her about 15min of oral and was ready to have sex, she claimed I had eaten her raw and wasn't in the mood.
Hrs later she tells me I have been doing it all wrong for a long time, she likes it soft, just lick the outside. ??? She continues to tell me I seem to be looking for a button (this part is true, hello....looking for the clit) and I am looking for her to cum every time I go down there....HELLO...it's why I'm there....
I have to be honest, I have had sex 10,000 times or close to it...she's kinda new to sex, well good sex. From what I've learned about her she's not all that into sex and hasn't been that active. I was the first guy to have sex w/ her w/o a condum, I was the first guy to cum inside her. There are a lot of firsts but as far as the oral goes...I've been doing it for 30years and have always been told I was the best @ it. Even the X told me she misses that about me.....WTF?
Mouse
What does she mean by "outside"? Like the inner labia? The outer labia? Is it possible she means right above or on the clitoral hood instead of the clitoris itself? Some women can't take direct clitoral stimulation for long, if at all. There are plenty of women who masturbate by rubbing directly above the clitoral hood instead of the clitoris itself...if she is one of those, it could be that she's not liking the sensation. Or she could like clitoral stimulation, but only if it's very soft and not much pressure.
This is probably the least likely, but you say she's a little inexperienced you are looking for the "button". Are you, erm, finding it? I don't ask to question your oral prowess lol... it's just that some women have very small, shy ones and without already being in the right frame of mind and in the right position (i.e. open enough), you might just be finding the clitoral hood and not the clitoris itself if it retracts into the hood. This could also happen if you're rougher with the oral than she finds pleasurable or if she's tense.
I agree with the previous posters...do what she asks. Let her lead with this. Maybe every now and then try the clitoral stimulation again, but change it up, keep it gentle, and ask her how it's working for her.
I don't care how inexperienced your girlfriend is, taking the attitude that she should like the way you do it because you would know better than she does, will be a complete turn off. Take the time to learn her body. Be a generous enough lover to check your ego at the door and do what she needs, rather than just plowing ahead with what you think she ought to enjoy.
The clitoris is actually a wishbone shaped organ - you only see 'the button' but the rest is also sensitive. So licking, stroking and touching along the sides is very important to a lot of women. The whole area is sensitive, and changes in sensitivity due to time of the month, etc. Take your cues from her.
You can find a drawing of the clitoris here to see what I mean - click on the 3rd picture down the list:
Dan, I just saw your earlier post in the other oral sex thread where you mention your wife saying it's painful. To me, this would confirm that she is one of those women whose clitoris is so very sensitive that direct stimulation or anything other than very light/soft stimulation is translated into pain. This is not at all rare. I'm betting she does prefer the stimulation just around the clitoral hood area (women still get a very nice, indirect sensation in the clitoris with this). I have the same issue after my first orgasm...any direct touch after that can be sensed as pain unless very, very gentle. Some women are like that all the time. But if she is that sensitive, she probably can get a lot of pleasure from stimulation of the surrounding area as described by norajane.
I don't care how inexperienced your girlfriend is, taking the attitude that she should like the way you do it because you would know better than she does, will be a complete turn off. Take the time to learn her body. Be a generous enough lover to check your ego at the door and do what she needs, rather than just plowing ahead with what you think she ought to enjoy.
On the other hand, she shouldn't be telling him he's doing it "wrong" just because she doesn't get off from what most women do. Want to piss a guy off? Tell him he doesn't know what he's doing in spite of him having ample evidence that he does (experience). Don't want to be eaten raw? Provide corrective feedback before it gets that far. Want something different? Say so.
I had years of dealing with this sort of crap. The wife said I must not be doing something right because it wasn't doing much for her. That straight pissed me off. She can't get off on what every other woman I've been with does, so *I* was doing something wrong?? How about it just doesn't work for HER... and then letting me know wtf does?? How about a little feedback? This notion that I was doing something wrong sent me through a fury of research, a collection of books, and experimenting everytime I went down on her... each time ending with frustration. It turns out, NOTHING works for her, and judging by subsequent women, there's not a damn thing I was doing wrong.
I still resent her for making me feel like I was the problem. To this day she's the only woman I didn't like giving oral.
On the other hand, she shouldn't be telling him he's doing it "wrong" just because she doesn't get off from what most women do. Want to piss a guy off? Tell him he doesn't know what he's doing in spite of him having ample evidence that he does (experience). Don't want to be eaten raw? Provide corrective feedback before it gets that far. Want something different? Say so.
I had years of dealing with this sort of crap. The wife said I must not be doing something right because it wasn't doing much for her. That straight pissed me off. She can't get off on what every other woman I've been with does, so *I* was doing something wrong?? How about it just doesn't work for HER... and then letting me know wtf does?? How about a little feedback? This notion that I was doing something wrong sent me through a fury of research, a collection of books, and experimenting everytime I went down on her... each time ending with frustration. It turns out, NOTHING works for her, and judging by subsequent women, there's not a damn thing I was doing wrong.
I still resent her for making me feel like I was the problem. To this day she's the only woman I didn't like giving oral.
DA,
I actually started laughing as I read your post.
I realize you're angry and it doesn't take much to re-engage the resentment you have over her.
But, this was really well written and the bitterness just drips from it.
But it's not even the whiskers. Licking, sucking, nipping, rubbing in the wrong area INSIDE the vagina or inside the labia area can HURT after a while. That skin is thin and sensitive. If it's dry, god help us.
Next time you do it, don't make the mistake of asking her if it's OK, (take my word you will come across as needy) but be a little sensitive to her body language and the noises she makes.
12Likes
Diver Dan 
