Re: 1st wedding night sex
My husband and I were both virgins until our marriage last year. He's a very nice lover now, but one of the mistakes he made on our wedding night was to try to insert himself before I was fully aroused. (My hymen had already been broken, so that wasn't the issue for us.) However, before marriage, he used to kiss me for hours, so I was already heated through fully. But the first time we had intercourse after our marriage, he assumed that now that we were 'allowed' to have sex, he wanted to penetrate without much foreplay. Big mistake, as it just ended up hurting me a lot.
So I would advise that you start with a lot of foreplay and make sure her body is fully aroused and wet before you have intercourse. You might also want to invest in some lubricant to make insertion easier and less painful for her. It might also help to have her be the one to control your insertion by guiding your penis inside her, to make it less traumatic or painful for her.
Another suggestion, based on my own experiences, if for you to not have any hangups about giving oral sex. Intercourse may not be enough to make your wife orgasm, so you might have to use your tongue on her to make her climax. (It may take 10-20 minutes, so be prepared.) My husband was initially uncomfortable with oral (as he was afraid of germs). I explained to him that a mouth has a lot more bacteria than a vagina, but it took awhile for him to get used to that idea. It took him many tries before he got to a place of being okay with giving oral... and eventually loving it (now he can't get enough of giving me oral). However, all those initial times when he used to make faces at my genitals, that used to just make me sad. Understand that all women's genitals have a certain kind of odor, which is totally normal, especially if you are virgins and she doesn't have any STDs to worry about. As long as she's using proper hygiene, just accept that her smell down there is her own, and don't make her feel bad for who she is.
Another thing that helped me, was that when I first started having sex with my husband, is that I took some cranberry capsules to prevent urinary infections. She can take the capsules or just drink cranberry juice, as lots of women get urinary infections from sex after they first start. It also helps a women reduce the chances of infections if she makes sure to urinate shortly after sex (to get rid of any bacteria you may have introduced to her with your body).
For a guy, it actually helps him to urinate before sex so that he can last longer. (Of course, make sure to wash yourself after urinating so you don't bring a urine smell into the bedroom). Take a lot of deep breaths while you are having sex so that you can last a bit longer before climaxing.
Also, this may sound silly, but make sure you know how to use contraception before starting. Read the instructions on the condom box before your first sexual experience. Make sure to put it on the right way and leave some gap in the front (for semen to collect). And when you are through with sex, make sure to hold the base down with your hand while removing your penis from her, so that the condom doesn't get stuck inside of her by accident.
Those were the things my husband and I learned when we started sexual intimacy 6 months ago. Hope some of these suggestions may be useful to you.