PLEASE!!! To Say I need HELP would be an Enourmous Understatemet!!!

Seawolf · 06-04-2012, 12:53 PM

This is easy. You can't stop it, so modify it to fit the new you. Next time it should go like this; "I'm sorry...but you're so hot I must take you right here!"
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AFEH · 06-04-2012, 02:06 PM

I used to believe that changing a habit was all about will power, strength of will. That we had actually to think about breaking the habit on a more or less constant basis, kind of worry about it. But that just focuses us on the habit we’re trying to break and keeps it at the forefront of our mind, which is the last thing we want to happen.

For me now it’s all about impulse control. We get a triggering event for the habit, say to have a cigarette and instead of satisfying the impulse we just tell our self “no”. Then we let the impulse pass us by and carry on with what we are doing. When we get the impulse again in the near future (it is habitual!) we just tell our self no again and move on again. It’s this way that I broke a smoking habit of just about 50 years. It took just 8 weeks to break the habit, that was over a year ago and now I just don’t think about them at all. I never get the impulse to have one.

We can actually feel these impulses “rising” in our mind. “Hey here it comes, the impulse to say “sorry” has risen in my mind!”. It’s at this point you just tell your self no and carry on with what you were doing. It really is that easy. You just keep saying no to the impulse to say sorry and pretty soon you will find you no longer get the impulse at all.

MPDBlues · 06-06-2012, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seawolf

This is easy. You can't stop it, so modify it to fit the new you. Next time it should go like this; "I'm sorry...but you're so hot I must take you right here!"
Posted via Mobile Device

Seawolf...

I am realizing that in a spur of the moment situation I am going to be unable to stop it, so I am looking forward to the day when I can present that much of an alpha to my wife on a daily basis...lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFEH

I used to believe that changing a habit was all about will power, strength of will. That we had actually to think about breaking the habit on a more or less constant basis, kind of worry about it. But that just focuses us on the habit we’re trying to break and keeps it at the forefront of our mind, which is the last thing we want to happen.

For me now it’s all about impulse control. We get a triggering event for the habit, say to have a cigarette and instead of satisfying the impulse we just tell our self “no”. Then we let the impulse pass us by and carry on with what we are doing. When we get the impulse again in the near future (it is habitual!) we just tell our self no again and move on again. It’s this way that I broke a smoking habit of just about 50 years. It took just 8 weeks to break the habit, that was over a year ago and now I just don’t think about them at all. I never get the impulse to have one.

We can actually feel these impulses “rising” in our mind. “Hey here it comes, the impulse to say “sorry” has risen in my mind!”. It’s at this point you just tell your self no and carry on with what you were doing. It really is that easy. You just keep saying no to the impulse to say sorry and pretty soon you will find you no longer get the impulse at all.

AFEH...

Would love to equate the impulse control from smoking to this...but I quit smoking cold turkey...and never looked back...Don't think I will be able to NEVER say I'm sorry again...lol

Although I am now more capable of seeing the situations that I tend to say it in more clearly...I have been doing my best daily to find better ways to express what I want to say without saying, excuse me, or pardon me, or sorry...Not that I am being rude by any means...just attempting to change the dynamic.

An example would be today, at work I overlooked a part number on something and it was brought to my attention. Instead of giving a quick "sorry about that" I simply stated "You are correct sir…it was. That’s not gonna work for you, is it?" it was received without comment and I felt empowered by it.

This is what I will keep doing when I can think it through, and when I do slip I will simply note it to myself and look to change it the next time I am in similar circumstances. Thanks!