If I new what I know now 25 years ago!
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships »The Men's Clubhouse » If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

The Men's Clubhouse Talk about life's dilemmas.

Like Tree12Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-11-2012, 02:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 125
Default If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

I was just sitting here thinking about when I was in my prime, I am 52 this month. How I was always ready to go, erections were a hourly event, the wind would blow across it and it would instantly be standing at full attention, and you could go 3 to 5 times in one day when you wasn't even in the mood. Just the feeling I had then, the burning from my groin to my rear. Morning wood that you couldn't beat down with a stick, waiting for it to subside so you could finally empty your bladder.

I didn't realize how good things were, and really never thought about the day things would start changing. I don't have ED or anything, but it's not like it used to be. There are a few days out of the month that I feel real close to those days. Other then that it is hit and miss. I mean with physical stimulation and such I can still get aroused and have a enjoyable time with the wife, and the quality is far better now. But just think if we had what we had back then with the confidence, knowledge and experiance that we have gained now, and our wifes being in there prime we would probaly never leave the house.

Mother nature played a mean trick on us by not getting the timing right for men and women when it comes to our sexual peak.

Awh the good old days, and in more ways then just this one.

How do you guys feel about it?
nxs450 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-11-2012, 03:03 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 0
Default

I agree! To have the stamina I had in my teens, yet the patience I have now....

I think I would have it wore down to a nub!
humanbecoming is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 03:17 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Dollystanford's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,149
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

well I was 12 25 years ago but I would tell myself 'men don't use sex to get what they want, sex IS what they want'
__________________
Learn how to talk proper, know what I mean?

Quote:
Originally Posted by WorkingOnMe View Post
Dolly is all of the women actually.
Dollystanford is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 04:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Anubis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 310
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

Though I miss the strength and stamina of my youth, if I could have known then something I only learned more recently ( besides don't marry the redhead, and buy Microsoft and then sell and buy Apple that is ) I would have wanted my young self to have understood that I wasn't an ugly troll and to wait until I found a gal who was truly my type. To have had a perspective on the world not filled with fear and insecurity. To have understood the need for moderation in life and to treasure all the moments and people in them.
__________________
We walk the plank with our eyes wide open.
Anubis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 08:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,281
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

Ha, they make drugs for that now! I am only a few months behind you in age and I relate to what you said. A light dose of one of the ED meds really does make a difference. I cut a Staxyn in half or even thirds, and I am back to being 18 again. Vits D, E, and Zinc help with the Testosterone. Exercise helps.

You probably remember the Bob Seger song "Against the Wind". It has a great line: Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

Against the wind - Bob Seger - YouTube
Thor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 08:49 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
lamaga's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Austin TX
Posts: 2,420
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

Thor, I was just about to post that line!

Yes, it's a double-edged sword -- we are wiser, but there's also a certain loss of innocence and hope.
lamaga is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 09:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Near Chicago, USA
Posts: 1,861
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nxs450 View Post
I was just sitting here thinking about when I was in my prime, I am 52 this month. How I was always ready to go, erections were a hourly event, the wind would blow across it and it would instantly be standing at full attention, and you could go 3 to 5 times in one day when you wasn't even in the mood. Just the feeling I had then, the burning from my groin to my rear. Morning wood that you couldn't beat down with a stick, waiting for it to subside so you could finally empty your bladder.

I didn't realize how good things were, and really never thought about the day things would start changing. I don't have ED or anything, but it's not like it used to be. There are a few days out of the month that I feel real close to those days. Other then that it is hit and miss. I mean with physical stimulation and such I can still get aroused and have a enjoyable time with the wife, and the quality is far better now. But just think if we had what we had back then with the confidence, knowledge and experiance that we have gained now, and our wifes being in there prime we would probaly never leave the house.

Mother nature played a mean trick on us by not getting the timing right for men and women when it comes to our sexual peak.

Awh the good old days, and in more ways then just this one.

How do you guys feel about it?
From a women's perspective, IMO, too many people harbor too many regrets.

For my part, I prefer to live in the moment and enjoy the moment.

Perhaps all the mistakes we THINK we made were really lessons we needed to learn.

And, as we live in the moment we can put those seeming mistakes/lessons behind us by learning from them, letting them go and moving forward.

I am also a betrayed spouse and my unfaithful husband was voicing similar regrets since his 40s, he is now in his late 50s.

He had at least one affair that I know of and likely more.

IMO, this type of thinking is what led to the affair.

My unfaithful spouse was always thinking "shoulda', coulda', woulda'.

I on the other hand can just live in the moment and savor a sunset or a beautiful smell on the wind or woodsmoke in the air.

I think to me, all roads led to where I am now and there is a reason for that.

Despite my husband's cheating, and some initial self doubts and tremendous insecurity, I am only now realizing that I am still largely happy with me and where I am.

Perhaps I am meant to divorce him and move on taking the lessons learned while with him into the future. He was certainly far from the perfect husband, he was not even the good and honest person I thought he was. He was always somewhat selfish and self centered, but I accepted it as part of who he was and honored my vows.

My unfaithful spouse, on the other hand, never seems to be happy. He always needs more or something different and is always lamenting things he should have done.

Even now that he caused me to file by cheating, he is unhappy that we are divorcing, even though while in the fog of his affair with a serial cheater, he asked me to divorce him during a fight he purposely started over nothing important.

Sigh. So to my mind rather than live in a state or regret which always takes us into the past. I would rather let go of regret, live in the moment and look forward to the future.
Sara8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 10:31 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,281
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara8 View Post

I am also a betrayed spouse and my unfaithful husband was voicing similar regrets since his 40s, he is now in his late 50s.

He had at least one affair that I know of and likely more.

IMO, this type of thinking is what led to the affair.
Idk, this kind of looking back seems normal as long as it doesn't become obsessive. I have had these kinds of regrets over the past year or so, but I am far less likely to cheat than when I was 25 and my hormones were in high gear.

Perhaps there is some difference between men and women in the area of regrets.

And since I'm in a Bob Seger kind of mood today, his song "Like a Rock" is right on target.

Bob Seger - Like a Rock ( Music Video ) - YouTube

Stood there boldly sweatin' in the sun
Felt like a million, felt like number one
The height of summer, I'd never felt that strong
Like a rock.

I was eighteen, didn't have a care
Workin' for peanuts, not a dime to spare
But I was lean and solid everywhere
Like a rock.

My hands were steady, my eyes were clear and bright
My walk had purpose, my steps were quick and light
And I held firm to what I felt was right
Like a rock.

Like a rock - I was strong as I could be
Like a rock - nothin' ever got to me
Like a rock - I was something to see
Like a rock.

And I stood arrow straight, unencumbered by the weight
Of all these hustlers and their schemes
I stood proud, I stood tall, high above it all
I still believed in my dreams.

[SOLO]

Twenty years now, where'd they go
Twenty years - I don't know
I sit and I wonder sometimes where they've gone
And sometimes late at night - oh when I'm bathed in the firelight
The moon comes callin' a ghostly white

And I recall, I recall.

Like a rock - standin' arrow straight
Like a rock - chargin' from the gate
Like a rock - carryin' the weight
Like a rock.
Like a rock - the sun upon my skin
Like a rock - hard against the wind
Like a rock - I see myself again
Like a rock,

Oh, like a rock.
Thor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 09:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 125
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thor View Post
Ha, they make drugs for that now! I am only a few months behind you in age and I relate to what you said. A light dose of one of the ED meds really does make a difference. I cut a Staxyn in half or even thirds, and I am back to being 18 again. Vits D, E, and Zinc help with the Testosterone. Exercise helps.

You probably remember the Bob Seger song "Against the Wind". It has a great line: Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

Against the wind - Bob Seger - YouTube
Yes I use Viagra occasionaly, but it doesn't do anything for libido. I'm talking about the feeling I had when I was younger. I can't really put it into words, but if your a man and over 50 I'm sure you know what I am talking about. The ED drugs are great though. When we have the house to our selves for a weekend and were both in the mood, it doesn't hurt adding a little nitro to the fuel. lol
nxs450 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 10:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,961
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

But you have so much more to live. You'll look back on this time when you are 90 and wish you never wasted your time with regrets. Men in their middle years are better than young men., they are more patient, generous, and compassionate than men 1/2 their age. Yet, they are still men with all the force and confidence of men without the insecurities and longings that make young men seem difficult to like at times.

I have 2 mentors who are men in their 50s. I love them, because they are so generous to teach me how to be be bold when needed, humble when called on, patient when vexed and compassionate when challenged. I think a strong older man is the archetypal male. He is every thing a man aught to be and then some.

Don't know why you guys are lamenting being the best you have ever been. As far as I see, our culture thinks of you this way.
Posted via Mobile Device
Catherine602 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 11:07 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,749
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine602 View Post

Don't know why you guys are lamenting being the best you have ever been. As far as I see, our culture thinks of you this way.
Posted via Mobile Device
Ask almost every man in his 50s, as wise he may be, and he'll pick 25 every time.
michzz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2012, 11:13 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
WorkingOnMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Washington State
Posts: 4,538
Default

If I knew 20 years ago.....that's a hard one. In many ways I wish I had waited and married someone else. I wouldn't settle for my wife knowing how sexually incompatible we would become. On the other hand I would still go through anything to have my kids in my life. It's a double edged sword.
WorkingOnMe is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 04:22 AM   #13 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 4,724
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

The following top five regrets is from The top 5 regrets people have on their deathbeds - Lifehacks

I wish Iíd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
Iíve no regrets here.

I wish I didnít work so hard.
Some regrets but not a lot.

I wish Iíd had the courage to express my feelings.
No regrets here about myself. But I regret deeply my wifeís inability to be open and true about her feelings.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Iím in touch with an exceedingly special few so no regrets.

I wish that I had let myself be happier.
No regrets here.


My neighbour had his 65th birthday last year. He was a paratrooper and fought in Angola and other places. Heís a very special man. He gave a little speech in which he said although heís had a greatly enjoyable life, the last 15 years with his partner have been the best years for him. That if he dies today or tomorrow he will die a happy and contented man. Iím 63 and I feel exactly the same way.

The trick is to find things that you enjoy doing, things that you are passionate about. And then having the courage, drive, resourcefulness and motivations to go out and get a life such that you live your passions. Do that and youíll have exceedingly few regrets.

Sex? Iíve absolutely no regrets as far as sex is concerned. I lived just about all my adult life with a woman I was truly passionate about and who fulfilled my passions in many ways.
AFEH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 08:20 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
okeydokie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,169
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

to answer the original post.....my life would be completely different

i would be a drummer for a heavy metal group, or a PGA professional.
okeydokie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 09:00 AM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,281
Default Re: If I new what I know now 25 years ago!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine602 View Post

Don't know why you guys are lamenting being the best you have ever been. As far as I see, our culture thinks of you this way.
In many ways I feel much happier and more grounded than I did when I was 20. But my back hurts most days, I've got an extra 10 lbs of fat which won't go away, and it takes some meds to make it through a whole sex session.

I'll never be physically able to do the things I used to do. I've climbed the highest peaks in the Andes, and some of the high peaks of the Himalaya. I've backpacked the wilderness in the Rocky Mtns. I've re-roofed my house (no I don't want to do that again!). When the grandkids come along I won't be able to horse around with them like I did my own kids.

My hands won't cooperate with playing guitar the way they used to, and the memory won't remember new songs so easily. My ears ring all the time due to a medication reaction a few years ago. I can still hack around on the guitar, but I'll never be as solid or polished as I used to be.

In a lot of ways I feel like I am just hitting my stride with understanding the world and with getting my act together, but my body is starting to wear out.
Thor is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Married for 7 years....no sex or intimacy in the last 4 years. Should I leave? bplegend Sex in Marriage 51 12-29-2013 09:32 AM
After almost 12 years of marriage and 3 years of fence sitting... gopherstatedad Going Through Divorce or Separation 2 07-15-2012 12:31 PM
Been married 12 years. Affair of the heart for 2 years. indymovie Considering Divorce or Separation 19 02-16-2012 08:47 PM
My 69 years old husband cheat on me with a 17 years old Latriste General Relationship Discussion 4 04-18-2011 11:46 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:40 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage