pmiller

I am wondering how many other guys here had their GF or W bring up marriage counseling and you said that you thought you didn't need it or it wouldn't help.. or whatever version of no you used at the time.

Machiavelli

Yeah. Did that 20 years ago. Never went, either.

Enginerd

My wife recently admitted that she refused to go because she was afraid that the MC would blame her for our problems. That was several years ago and we are still together but we have both made some big adjustments.

tacoma

I`ve done this

thunderstruck

My W refuses as well. She said, "Why go? The problem with our marriage is that you're an a-hole."

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pmiller

Enginerd.. you W said almost verbatim what i said.

Thunderstruck.. my W said that about me too.. just w/o the MC talk
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pmiller

That seems to be the million dollar question.. How do you get/persuade/help someone else to realize and accept their part of the issues?

anchorwatch

Yeah, I said it plenty of times, "don't need to go, we'll work it out". What an a hole move that was. Might have had things back in order sooner and had plenty more sex. Who knew.

anchorwatch

You don't. They have to see it for themselves. Take it form someone who didn't accept his part.

Chris Taylor

If they won't go, go alone. It will show them you are serious about straightening out the marriage.

pmiller

So, there isn't a way to kindly nudge them that maybe they should seek some help without them exploding and then closing off? lol

I asked my wife one time.. about 8 years are.. "Are you crazy or something?" and I have heard that at least 20 times sense then that I said "Your crazy, you need some help"

pfft.. women

A friend of mine once told me, "If women didn't have a c*nt, we'd have a bounty on their heads". Sometimes, I think he is brilliant..lol

ScaredandUnsure

I told my ex husband we needed some help, for about 6 years before I asked him for a divorce. But he kept telling me we didn't have problems, or that any problem that was there was all in my head.

anchorwatch

People learn to become comfortable or secure in their lifestyle, good or bad. It's where they know how to function.
So I see it as most people wont change their lifestyles unless their stability is threatened. By that time it is usually too late.

My wife asked me to go for years. During that time she read dozens of books and went on her own. I just thought she was bored with everyday life and would get over it. I really had my head in the sand.

I didn't get it until I realized my marriage was at risk. That was what scared me enough to do something about it. I got off my butt and lead us back to a better marriage...(or at least she lets me think that)

pmiller

So, she didn't refuse to go out of spite for you not wanting to go before? lol (BTW, that's what I got.. mentioned many times since then and get the same response)